You are browsing the archive for March 2012.
If Elmo’s sucio ass didn’t pay for that bus time handy from OctoMom then he better FedEx her a cashiers check ASAP, because ho needs money now more than ever. I don’t know how they did it, but TMZ somehow got a hold of (cut to OctoGranny with an oh-so-guilty “It wuzzint me!” look on her face) a picture of an EBT card with OctoMom’s government name on it.
TMZ points out that Octo swore on her fame-making uterus in the past that she’d never open her hands to government assistance, but with 14 hungry eating holes to fill and her offers drying up faster than her relevancy, she had to raise the Help A Bitch Out flag. Octo makes less than $119,000 a year and has 15 mouths to feed, so she qualifies for a $2000 monthly food only allowance from the State of California. TMZ source’s say that Octo is also trying to cut her monthly expenses by pulling all but one child (who is autistic) from private school.
A bitch can argue that Octo did this to herself, but those 10 thousand million chirruns didn’t do this to themselves and they gotta eat. Damn. If crazy was a protein, they could nibble on the crazy their mom gives off, but it ain’t. I’m assuming Octo has some kind of other income falling into her wallet, because I don’t know how
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From the makers of that nightmare-inducing Cheetos blooming (and wilting) morphing video is this anti-crack, anti-delusion, anti-White Oprah, anti-Restylane and anti-self tanner PSA where Lindsay Lohan’s face goes from 0 to 60-years-old in 1 minute. This shit is like watching a train conducted by White Oprah slowly careen off the tracks before taking out a dump truck carrying broken meth pipes and crashing directly into an old dentures dispensary. This mess is creepy, it’s fascinating and it’s looking into a Faces of Meth kaleidoscope. They should really play this video in front of every child actor and tell them this could be their face on fame. And now, I have to cleanse my eyeballs over a pot of boiling holy water.
via Buzzfeed
By popular demand and 4 days late, I bring you the new pride of Alberta (sorry, Nickelback, you had a good run) Robert Wilkinson who has been sweetly serenading the Internet and beyond ever since the video of him doing a spot-on Freddie Mercury impersonation in the back of a police car went viral. (Note: Dlisted does not condone driving drunk as shit, which is what this Canadian Idol was busted for. If you’re too drunk to drive, please use your iPhone or borrow someone else’s to find a sober designated driving trick on Craigslist who will gladly and safely drive you to your destination in exchange for some road head and a ball tickle. That’s how responsible drunk sluts do it.)
If you’re like me, then you’re probably a little sad that you didn’t win Mega Millions (Fuck you, Kansas! Fuck you, Illinois! Fuck you, Maryland!) and your dream of buying CNN to turn it into ACNN (The Anderson Cooper Nekkid Network) is dead. But look on the bright side, if you won that shit, you wouldn’t be in front of your computer right now watching this slow clap-worthy performance for the 500th time. You’d be at your office, writing your resignation letter on a roll of toilet paper with your dirty asshole. See, there’s a silver lining to being a broke and unlucky.
And when you’re outside today and a tear drop-shaped piece of silver glitter lands on your cheek, know that’s from Freddie Mercury crying tears of joys from heaven because his legacy
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Christopher Walken (69)
Jessica Szohr (27)
Josh Saviano (36)
Ewan McGregor (41)
Samantha Brown (42)
Deborah Kara Unger (48)
Tony Cox (54)
Angus Young (57)
Al Gore (64)
Rhea Perlman (64)
Valerie Curtin (67)
Gabe Kaplan (67)
Richard Chamberlain (78)
Shirley Jones (78)
Here’s a last bit of breezy entertainment as you head into the weekend: The first trailer for Miami-set dance sequel Step Up 4, AKA Step Up: Revolution, in which a new pair of star-crossed lovers leads their crew into syncopated battle against prejudice rival gangs foreclosure evil land developers. This series has wound a long, glossy path since the days of Channing Tatum b-boying in the parking lot, but hey: It’s a new Step Up movie! As long as that Moose kid and Madd Chadd show up, I’m good to go.
Of course, Jon M. Chu has moved on from the Step Up films to helm the G.I. Joe sequel (Chu directed the second and third installments of the series, making the franchise a hit) but he remains a producer with music video veteran Scott Speer in the director’s chair. (Speer previously directed the “Duet” episode of Chu’s online dance series The LXD, which inspires some faith in his eye for movement and storytelling.)
My biggest hangup about Step Up 4, however, isn’t that the two new leads, Kathryn McCormick and Ryan Guzman, are unknown — following in Step Up tradition — or that the trailer is almost too-slick looking, or that dancers on pogo legs don’t really do much for me. It’s that flash mobs are so tired already; once Justin Timberlake used them to woo Mila Kunis last year and Howie Mandel hosted a reality TV show about real people springing grandiose flash mob-gestures upon their estranged loved ones, I was kind of done with them.
Also: What is Peter Gallagher doing in this movie playing the evil…
James Franco, Selena Gomez, and Harmony Korine are down in Florida filming Spring Breakers, a movie about four coeds (including Disney tween queen Gomez) indebted to a rapping dealer named Alien (Franco) after they rob a bank to finance their spring break trip and he bails them out. All of this sounded innocent enough, at least as much as a Korine film can seem, until images of Franco emerged from the set. Some called his look Kevin Federline-esque; rapper Riff Raff stepped forth to actually claim, proudly, that Franco’s cornrowed, blinged-out drug dealer persona was based on him. In any case, get a look at your 2011 Oscar nominee James Franco as… I don’t even know what to call this. Movieliners, caption away!
Via INF Daily – click for more.
Here’s a bonus look that confirms that this isn’t just a shared psychotic Friday afternoon daydream we’re all having, posted by Gomez to her Twitter account yesterday with the message “This is where the trouble begins…” (The shoot is being heavily documented both on Tumblr and Twitter, for those interested in candid shots of Gomez, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine, and Vanessa Hudgens in bikinis.)
Meanwhile, Fuse TV got Riff Raff on the line to explain that he was originally offered a part by Korine before Franco came to adopt his style in the film, which also supposedly stars Gucci Mane, AKA that rapper with the ice cream cone tattoo on his face:
“I sent him a few things. But all you gotta do [to see how I dress] is search through
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