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Where was Jimmy Kimmel before the Oscars? Kathryn Bigelow could have used him. On Wednesday night, the late-night talk-show host gave a comic lesson in marketing when he showed this trailer for the DVD release of Zero Dark Thirty that re-positions the movie as a romantic comedy instead of a pro-torture CIA procedural. All it takes is a little voiceover magic and some creative editing to depict Jessica Chastain as a workaholic in search of “the man of her dreams.”
Pretty, pretty funny, as is the movie’s new title, Zero Dark Flirty, and tagline: “Sometimes it’s good to be a little bit Abbottabad.” For those who limited their consumption of Oscar-nominated based-on-a-real-story CIA thrillers to Argo, that’s the name of the town in Pakistan where Osama bin Laden’s compound was located.
Speaking of Kimmel, he should be the next host of the Oscars. Hollywood loves him, and he’s got the perfect tone for the evening. In fact, Seth MacFarlane left me with the impression that he was trying to be Kimmel on Sunday night. What do you think?
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Beyonce is already on PETA’s shit list, because of all the yaks and Andalusians horses she’s skinned to make her wigs and now they’re really coming at her for the sneakers she co-designed and put her name on. The “King Bey Isabel Marant Sneaker Wedge” was designed by Beyonce and Isabel Marant for PMK (stands for Perfectly Made Kicks, not Pimp Mama Kris) and several zoo creatures were skinned to make those shoes. That anaconda that almost killed JLo in that movie? It’s on Beyonce’s shoes. That ballet-dancing ostrich from Fantasia? It’s on Beyonce’s shoes. That photobombing stingray from one of my favorite pictures of 2012? It’s on Beyonce’s shoes. All the animals are on there!
PETA pushed out a statement about Beyonce’s sneakers, because they’re PETA and pushing out statements is what they do. They also don’t appreciate that King Bey’s sneakers are made of calf hair, anaconda, stingray, ostrich and crocodile skins. Here’s their statement via Gossip Cop:
“These custom-made kicks come with a high price—and it’s paid by the various animals who were beaten and skinned alive or cruelly farmed and killed. Although most people aren’t as familiar with the types of animals (snakes, stingrays, crocodiles, and ostriches) killed for this single pair of sneakers as they are with
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Clint Eastwood’s 19-year-old daughter Francesca and 64-year-old Steven Tyler went to dinner together last night. Steven Tyler’s “confused orangutan” face best expresses my feelings about all of this. Well, at least Clint has someone to mumble words out with at Thanksgiving, because his empty chair is a shitty conversationalist. – Lainey Gossip
The gay son from Shameless came out as straight – Towleroad
And by “small wedding” Jennifer Aniston means that her only guests will be her dogs and her Beanie Babies – Celebitchy
Khloe Kardashian and Malin Akerman make a beautiful pair – Hollywood Tuna
Big Ang >>>>>>> all those other models – Drunken Stepfather
Brit Brit totally got caught shoplifting Hot Fries and Bonne Bell black eyeliner again – The Superficial
I hope Teen Mom Janelle is really in rehab to deal with her disturbing Ke$hit addiction – Reality Tea
Ashley Tisdale has never looked more beautiful. That bag mask suits her. – Popoholic
Ashley Olsen killed Oscar the Grouch, skinned him, relaxed his fur and wore it as a jacket – ICYDK
Yup, Kristen Bell’s got a baby in there – Just Jared
Panty Creamer of the Day: Shemar Moore Edition – SOW
Pretend it’s 1994 and scream at the news that Stone Temple Pilot
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If the next set of pictures that come out aren’t of Justin Bieber’s traveling nanny running after him with a fresh pair of purple leopard Pamper pants, a tub of Baby Wipes and a tube of Desitin, she’s SO fired. Her one job is to change his diaper pants when the load is sagging so low that it’s practically sweeping against the ground and she can’t even do that!
Justin Bieber left his hotel in London yesterday wearing the douchiest outfit I’ve ever seen. I live in L.A. AND I’ve been to Vegas several times, so I know what I’m talking about. He looks like LMFAO’s studded butt tampon. Now we know why the Biebs and Jaden Smith are friends. Biebs doesn’t want to be friends with Jaden, he’s just using Jaden to get his hands on Will Smith’s Fresh Prince of Bel Air outfits.
Dude looks like the lost white member of Salt-N-Pepa and I don’t mean that in a good way. The Biebs needs to look closely at one of his two watches, because it’s about that time for him to take a potty training class at The Learning Annex.
