As you likely know, the Golden Raspberry Awards are quickly approaching with all the promise of recognizing the worst of the last year in cinema. As you also likely know, the reaction to the Razzies among film critics and commentators has yielded many of the same complaints we hear every year: The nominations tend to omit movies that take themselves more seriously and/or aspire to something a little more sophisticated than Adam Sandler jump-roping with his shrill twin sister. The editors at Movieline concur with this perspective and hope to change it with the help of both esteemed peers and loyal readers. Thus the inaugural Soily Awards, our attempt to reconcile the year's highest-profile Hollywood misfires with their truly uninspired brethren.
To be awarded on March 23, the Soilies will showcase the new spectrum of awful that confronts today's filmgoers, with the ultimate goal of redefining Bad Movies for the 21st century. Or at least not letting high-achieving 2011 crapmakers like Clint Eastwood or Natalie Portman off the hook. Winners in the six categories below — whose nominees were chosen by Movieline's distinguished Brown-Ribbon panel of experts — will receive one of the lovely Soilies statuettes seen above.
We have a brand-new Facebook page for the occasion, where a Reader's Choice component will be introduced as well later this week. Stay tuned!
The inaugural nominees are:
The Soily for Worst Picture of 2011
The most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011. The more ambitious/pretentious, the better.
Abduction
Conan the Barbarian
Green Lantern
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Soily for Achievement in Bad Directing
The director of the most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011 — or maybe just most appalling director? (NOTE: The award will be named after its inaugural winner.)
Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Dennis Dugan, Jack and Jill
Clint Eastwood, J. Edgar
David Gordon Green, Your Highness and The Sitter
Zack Snyder, Sucker Punch
The Soily for Achievement in Bad Acting
A unisex award recognizing the worst and/or least inspired performance by any actor in any film in 2011.
Russell Brand, Arthur
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Taylor Lautner, Abduction and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part I
Alex Pettyfer, I Am Number Four and Beastly
Adam Sandler, Just Go With It and Jack and Jill
The Brown Paycheck Achievement in Bad Acting
A unisex award recognizing the most lopsided ratio of salary to quality.
Bradley Cooper, The Hangover Part II
Harrison Ford, Cowboys and Aliens
Nicole Kidman, Just Go With It
Helen Mirren, Arthur
Natalie Portman, Your Highness, No Strings Attached and Thor
The Shart Prize
A film that seemed like it might be bad but turned out much, much more aromatically awful than anyone could have imagined.
Arthur
Atlas Shrugged: Part I
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
Your Highness
Zookeeper
The Shit-the-Bed Award
Arguably the most prestigious Soily, this honor goes to the movie that, despite its pedigree and everything it had going for it on paper, nevertheless resulted in a massive failure to move the cultural needle or achieve anything remotely resembling entertainment.
Carnage
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Iron Lady
J. Edgar
War Horse
I would like to thank the Soilies' extraordinary Brown-Ribbon Panel for their contributions both here and to come as we vote on the year's worst:
· Michael Adams, author, Showgirls, Teen Wolves, and Astro Zombies
· Lewis Beale, freelance film journalist
· Brad Brevet, Rope of Silicon
· Edward Douglas, Coming Soon
· Alonso Duralde, The Wrap and What the Flick?!
· David Edelstein, New York Magazine
· Jordan Hoffman, freelance columnist/critic
· Patric King, House of Pretty
· Eric Kohn, indieWIRE
· Dan Kois, Razziewatch columnist for Grantland
· Will Leitch, New York Magazine
· Guy Lodge, In Contention
· Julie Miller, Vanity Fair
· Mat Newman, writer/publicist
· David Poland, Movie City News
· Kevin Polowy, NextMovie
· Steve Pond, The Wrap
· Dustin Rowles, Pajiba
· Brad Slager, Movieline and CHUD
· Jamie Stuart, The Mutiny Company
Many thanks also to Gleba McHamish and Mat Newman for helping to conceive the Soily Awards in the first place.
Drop back by Movieline this Wednesday, March 14, for the introduction of the prestigious Brown Note Prize — voted by you, the reader. And all of the inaugural Soily winners will be announced right here on March 23. Spread the word!
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