lindsay must be sleepy

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Literally just a few hours after doing the bare minimum to stay out of jail and complete her alcohol awareness classes, Drinksy Lohan became even more aware of alcohol when she stayed at a house party in the Hollywood Hills until 5am this morning. Those classes can be up three hours long, and I heard that the only way Lindsay gets through them is by freezing vodka into a tube shape and then shoving it up her ass. Then as her body heat melts it, the precious alcohol is slowly released. No I’m just kidding. I just made that up. But don’t be surprised now if you see Lindsay look a little stiff legged the next time she goes to class.

lindsay must be sleepy
lindsay must be sleepy
lindsay must be sleepy
lindsay must be sleepy
lindsay must be sleepy
lindsay must be sleepy
lindsay must be sleepy
lindsay must be sleepy

NBC really loves lying about Conan

NBC really loves lying about Conan

Eight years ago, NBC posted a profit of 1.8 billion dollars, but since then it’s been run by bumbling retards who would be required to wear water wings and a football helmet at all time in most states, so this year they will lose over 600 million dollars (source).

As you can tell, they’re not very good with numbers. But if you needed more proof of that…

NBC is pissed at Conan O’Brien and claims he lied during his “60 Minutes” interview.
Network sources tell TMZ Conan was flat out wrong when he said NBC gave him the axe rather than Leno because Jay’s buyout would have been bigger. Sources say the buyouts for Conan and Jay were roughly the same.

For the record, Conan received a buyout worth 32.5 million. Lenos buyout was 150 million.

Now, I’m no mathamagician, and I apologize for all the times I implied I was (I just liked the attention), but I do know that 150 is more than 32. Almost 5 times more, some would say. I also know that NBC is out of their minds to guarantee Leno 150 million dollars. If that dullard is worth 150, if they ever found a guy wearing a silly hat who can wiggle his ears, they would turn the entire network over to him, no questions asked.

(notemy beloved diora baird runs a very cutely entertaining twitter page, and not simply because she’ll occasionally flash her amazing cleavage. you may be wondering what that has to do with conan o brien. well I may be wondering why you’re so gay. NOW who’s asking the questions!)

jessica simpson is in a hurry

jessica simpson is in a hurry

Jessica Simpson was in NYC yesterday, and she ran from the Ritz-Carlton to her car with what the Sun describes as, “her cleavage bursting out of her dress.”

So maybe she was trying to be sexy, or maybe she was in a rush and didn’t have time to lock everything down. My sources tell me that what we see here is Jessica 30 seconds after she got a from a friend on the black market, and they found a chef who will stuff a doughnut with mini tacos. She better hurry before he loses his nerve!

jessica simpson is in a hurry
jessica simpson is in a hurry
jessica simpson is in a hurry
jessica simpson is in a hurry

kendra is being less than honest

kendra is being less than honest

The fact that Kendra orchestrated a magazine cover to come out the very same day Vivid announced they have a Kendra sex tape should tell you everything you need to know about who is behind this. And if that doesn’t the legal stuff should. And if that doesn’t maybe the fact that she tried to sell the very same tapes will…

Documents acquired by Radar confirm that the Playboy pinup was in the process of releasing the tapes herself a year and a half ago! According to the documents, a company (which Wilkinson would own and control) would be formed and Wilkinson’s team would shop the tape around soliciting offers. Wilkinson would also be able to mandate how the tape would be edited before it was sent to potential buyers.
While several media outlets cited sources claiming the blonde beauty is “devastated” and “humiliated” by the tapes potentially going public and worried it will harm her marriage to Hank Baskett, Radar also learned that Wilkinson was figuring out a way to release them herself well into her relationship with the professional football player and even after the couple’s engagement was announced.

I like Kendra a lot, so it sucks to point out that she’s lying. If she was trying to sell this movie last year, and someone “betrayed” her and sold the movie to Vivid this year, how many damn copies of this thing are there? Did she just sit down one day a burn a bunch of copies? Will aspiring teen models make a sex tape with you if you give them a copy for their demo reel or something? Because if so I need to place an ad in Variety immediately.

exclusive kendra sex tape details

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So there’s this guy I know, and he knows everything that happens behind the scenes in porn, and he says that if this tape ever gets released, and if it shows Kendra having sex, it will be because she approved its release and signed contracts allowing it. If she wants to kill the tape, she can. If she doesn’t, she won’t.

This is because of a law called 2257, which is essentially a bookkeeping law. Every performer in a sex tape or porn must certify that they are the ones in the scene and that they were at least 18 years old at the time. Vivid could never release a tape if they couldn’t document who the performers were and that they were legal age. This would be especially relevant to Kendra because she would have been around 18 when the tape was made. Porn is fanatically obsessed over two things: 1. paperwork 2. taking all my money.

If someone does not certify all that, their image will be blurred, like the image of Brandy Ledford, the second girl in the sex tape starring Vince Neil and (Jesse James’ first wife) Janine Lindemulder. Brandy didn’t sign so her face was blurred out.

It’s not clear if Kendra has signed yet but Vivids press release is a pretty good indication that she did or will soon.

The guy I know says it would be amazing if the tape was released as planned at the end of May, because Vivid will want this to play out as long as possible, with pretend negotiating and fake crying going back and forth in the media. I asked about screencaps but apparently no one has seen anything. This thing is locked away like the robot

Harem Pants: Victoria Beckham Spotted Buying a Pair in NYC

Harem Pants: Victoria Beckham Spotted Buying a Pair in NYC
Stop! Hammertime!

Twenty years after rapper MC Hammer  first made them popular, Victoria Beckham has developed a passion for harem pants.

During an recent shopping spree in New York City, the former Spice Girl slipped out of a black dress from her own collection and into a pair of the slouchy-crotched trousers.

Wearing an off-the-shoulder Flashdance top and a Do these make me look fat? expression, the singer — who usually favors skinny jeans and pencil skirts, but has previously dipped into this trend — stepped out of the dressing room to model the baggy pants for soccer stud hubby David Beckham.

And it seems the Armani underwear model thought his wife looked 2Legit2Quit

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- she was seen signing a receipt for her purchases before leaving the store.

This was the second day in a row that the fashionista gave her credit card a workout during her visit to the Big Apple: Dressed in a , she hit up boutiques and a Whole Foods with an assistant on Monday.

Her assistant was along for the ride on Tuesday as well, and even carried 36-year-old Beckham’s handbag for her.

A Personal Handbag Holder? Now that’s a trend we’d like to see catch on!

Twitter #Contest: #7FAM Sunglasses

What up my tweeples?!

Twitter #Contest: #7FAM Sunglasses

7 For All Mankind sent me a pair of Wilshire shades (shown above) and I’ve decided to do a twitter giveaway with them! It’s been so long since we’ve shown our appreciation to all our favorite tweeps so without further ado…

Ruffskin Denim

Ruffskin Denim

Ruffskin make denim that is a little different from most of the men’s brands out there. As the images from their new lookbook demonstrate this is denim for for dudes who like their jeans to be so tight you can tell their religion. If you have spent the last five years in the gym, have rock hard abs and wish to purchase a pair of their unique jeans you can do so or at their new store in New York City at 235 8th Avenue.

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