Afternoon Crumbs

Note to self: Do not force a child to tell a soulless monster the obvious, because it might make you look bad. But DO force a child to ask the liquor man for a bottle of free whiskey, because nobody can say no to a child and it will make you look smart. - Towleroad

Robert Downey Jr. displays his impressive (and nutritious) rack on The Tonight Show - Lainey Gossip

Nope, sorry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, that's still not going to help you in keeping a man - The Superficial

Lindsay Lohan's weave is a lovely shade of uncooked fettuccine - Celebitchy

It was very nice of Maxim to put a paralyzed wax slut puppet on their cover - Hollywood Tuna

Lydia Hearst gets ass crack naked for Terry Richardson - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Kirsten Chenoweth's chichis, who knew? - Popsugar

Despite the heels, Sarah Jessica Parker is dressed like 3rd grader who watches too much Gossip Girl going to their first day of school - Just Jared

Katherine Heigl sort of admits that she shits from her mouth - ICYDK

The hell is Roller Girl wearing? - Popoholic

The hell is Brooke Burke wearing? - Hollywood Rag

Here are some kittens doing an impression of you at work - OMG Blog

31 flavors of douche - The Berry

What Bradley Cooper really means is that yes, just like the rest of the world he's fapped to Ryan Gosling before - I'm Not Obsessed

Blake Lively's pillow bump looks slightly more convincing than Beyonce's - Cityrag

Why it's a bad idea to try to rob an MMA fighter - The Daily What

Andy Serkis' Oscar campaign is the best - Videogum