Afternoon Crumbs

While most of us celebrated Mother's Day yesterday, Kim Kuntrashian celebrated Dress As Your Pimp Day! - Hollywood Tuna

Jessica Biel gracefully busts out a not-so-subtle "Oh, I'm just going to casually touch my face to show off my huge diamond engagement ring while kissing on Justin Timberlake" pose for the cameras - Lainey Gossip

Tan Mom and the Hot Dog Hooker should do a very special Mothers of the Year issue of Playboy Chernobyl - The Superficial

Olympic Panty Creamers of the Day - The Berry

Sienna Miller brings her unborn baby to RPattz's birthday party - Celebitchy

Joanna Johnson from Bold and the Beautiful comes out publicly as a gayelle - Towleroad

Yeah yeah yeah, Christina Hendricks' magnificent chichis are peeking out, but for why is she dressed like the madam of a vampire brothel circa 1999? - Popoholic

There is TOO much here to comment, so I'll just say in the wise words of Aunt Bunny: GURRRRRRL PLEASE! - Crunk + Disorderly

Well, it was either "Mary Jane" or "Chocolate Dick Cake" - ICYDK

Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs looks like Ashton Kutcher as Ashton Kutcher in a turtleneck - Popsugar

That time Kelly Ripa's husband twerked his nalgas as a stripper - OMG Blog

SMUG has a new anthem - Just Jared

Mensa's youngest member is smart enough to know that sitting on a toilet is more fun than sitting on the Today Show couch - Videogum

Lindsay Lohan has got the "hungover middle-aged mom going to cash her child support check at 7-Eleven to pay for her Fix-A-Flat lips" look down - Hollywood Rag

Glee trades one basic ass blonde (see: Fishsticks) for another (see: Kate Hudson) - I'm Not Obsessed

Two questions: Who makes that birfday cake and can I get a human-sized one for my birfday? - Cityrag

Pucks with iPhones - SOW