The pieces of Magic Mike cover Entertainment Weekly and I’m mostly here for Joe ManJello’s glorious “These are my bitches!” pose – The Berry
Prince Hot Ginge and that other one have only nice things to say about their grandma, and I’m sure that has nothing to do with her standing behind the camera threatening to slap them with her weapon of choice (aka her pocketbook) if they got sassy – Lainey Gossip
What happens when the influence of Katie Price and Brit Brit’s pantyhose catsuit from the Toxic video get together – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Gross is Petra Nemcova going back for a second serving of Sean Penn – Celebitchy
T.I. is whatever about gay marriage – Towleroad
For the zero of you that haven’t seen Jenny McCarthy naked as naked can be yet – The Superficial
Katie Price’s weave looks like the aftermath of a messy battle between a horse tail and a bottle of Sun-In – Hollywood Tuna
Full of Nguyen! – The Daily What
Kristen Stewart’s dress would make a perfect sofa throw – ICYDK
Nicole Scherminger does the Angelina – Popoholic
The Texas T-Rex didn’t use an ass double – The Frisky
We call it “going to the museum” but Angie and Brad’s rich asses probably call it “shopping for powder room art” – Popsugar
Okay, Sheree… – Crunk + Disorderly
Jane Fonda > the rest of these hos – Just Jared
Abe Vigoda will outlive us all – SOW
Follow-up post: Dogs with diarrhea – Cityrag
A Check is a check: Joey Lawrence is now a Chippendale - Hollywood Rag
If a copper unicorn horn came to life with pixie dust, it would look exactly the way Tilda Swinton looked at Cannes today – Just Jared
Mimi is not here say words about Brit Brit – Lainey Gossip
The Lesbeaver pours a little sweet nectar in his sippy cup every now and again – The Berry
It came from the sea…. – The Superficial
Gays of Our Lives, indeed – Towleroad
Charlize Theron and GOOPY aren’t going to make a movie together anytime soon – Celebitchy
Gisele Bundchen’s sandy nalgitas cover Vogue Paris – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Tan Mom’s nemesis emerges… – Hollywood Tuna
Hayden Panacotta puffs out her new bought-and-paid-for Tupperware bowl titties in promo pictures for Nashville – Popoholic
Katherine Heigl’s new baby isn’t even trying to look at her mom’s pan fried Top Ramen hair – ICYDK
The ass juice-filled, flame broiled toad wart has gone too far this time – OMG Blog
I don’t know if Suzanne Somers’ hair needs less hormones or more hormones, but it definitely needs something – Celebslam
One of these is not like the others – Popsugar
But NeNe’s Hermey the Dentist hair still needs to make an exit –
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While most of us celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday, Kim Kuntrashian celebrated Dress As Your Pimp Day! - Hollywood Tuna
Jessica Biel gracefully busts out a not-so-subtle “Oh, I’m just going to casually touch my face to show off my huge diamond engagement ring while kissing on Justin Timberlake“ pose for the cameras – Lainey Gossip
Tan Mom and the Hot Dog Hooker should do a very special Mothers of the Year issue of Playboy Chernobyl – The Superficial
Olympic Panty Creamers of the Day – The Berry
Sienna Miller brings her unborn baby to RPattz’s birthday party – Celebitchy
Joanna Johnson from Bold and the Beautiful comes out publicly as a gayelle – Towleroad
Yeah yeah yeah, Christina Hendricks’ magnificent chichis are peeking out, but for why is she dressed like the madam of a vampire brothel circa 1999? – Popoholic
There is TOO much here to comment, so I’ll just say in the wise words of Aunt Bunny: GURRRRRRL PLEASE! - Crunk + Disorderly
Well, it was either “Mary Jane” or “Chocolate Dick Cake” – ICYDK
Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs looks like Ashton Kutcher as Ashton Kutcher in a turtleneck – Popsugar
That time Kelly Ripa’s husband twerked his nalgas as a stripper - OMG Blog
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I don’t know who deserves the award more here? The Photoshop artiste for those turtle shell abs or that model for trying to look like she really wants to get close to the bullet in Tommy Girl’s pants. – Towleroad
Speaking of the magic of Photoshop, Tara Reid’s stomach doesn’t totally look like Tan Mom’s face in Loaded Magazine – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
If Wheelchair Jimmy and Ty Ty mated, their baby would look like Frankie from Shark Tale – Lainey Gossip
Jessica Snooze-ar’s nipples look like they’re trying to challenge me to a staring contest – Hollywood Tuna
Miley Cyrus takes Jessica Snooze-ar’s hard nipples and raises her a pointy titty – The Superficial
We as a people need to stop trying to make Rachel Berry as Mary Tyler Moore happen – The Berry
The 50 Shades of Crap movie is going to offend all of my senses, but if it gives me a gingerized ASkars, I’ll take it! – Celebitchy
How can Jessica Biel breathe through her nose when her collagen-stuffed upper lip is practically suffocating her nostrils? – Popoholic
Somebody get Tom Sturridge an 80s plastic ponytail cone so he can wear an updo with style – Popsugar
All I see are TEEEEEEEEEEFS and weaves – ICYDK
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Vanity Fair puts Marilyn Monroe on their cover again, but it could’ve been worse. They could’ve put (insert the name of a celebwhore that powers your eye rolls here) as Marilyn on their cover instead. - Celebitchy
The make-up department of The Railway Man figured it’s easier just to throw some brown bangs over Nicole Kidman’s marble slab forehead than to try to paint lifelike wrinkles on it – Lainey Gossip
Willam somehow found a way to stuff my favorite phrase “dick cheese” into a Selena Gomez song – Towleroad
Pretty sure Lindsay Lohan came out of the womb with a Red in her mouth so the source (read: White Oprah) needs to stop with the “hardly smokes” shit – The Superficial
Kate Upton dances like a chimp having a seizure - Hollywood Tuna
Sofia Vergara’s nipples sort of come out for GQ Mexico – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Michael Assbender is covered in way too much clothing in Esquire UK – ICYDK
The “meditation” should be an oil wrestling bikini match, because Tameka’s gladiator ass would have that shit wrapped up three seconds after the bell rang – Crunk + Disorderly
That tiny wolf dog is way too adorable to be seen with the likes of Miley’s ass – Popoholic
This is mostly what it looks
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John Travolta isn’t wearing a wallet chain! John is not THAT tacky, thankyouverymuch. That’s just a leash for his butt plug so it doesn’t get lost up in there. – Lainey Gossip
Mila Kunis plays it right and will never admit to having sexual intercourse with that douche – The Superficial
Future Headine: Kris Jenner sues the producers of The Dictator for using footage from Khloe Kardashian’s birth – Towleroad
Sam MerLESS is now part owner of Brit Brit Spears – Celebitchy
What in the name of Solid Gold meets MC Hammer Hell is JLo wearing? – Hollywood Tuna
Christina Milian’s 1985 prom hair is causing me to suffer from hairspray inhalation – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
The ghost of Blake Lively’s future isn’t looking totally fugged up – Popoholic
What a beautiful Levitz showroom – The Berry
Should I make an uncalled for Jessica Simpson joke or do you want to do the honors? – ICYDK
Either Suri is really into that cupcake or she’s eating whatever is left of Katie’s soul with her eyes – Popsugar
RiRi’s gramps can’t believe he got out of his La-Z-Boy recliner to come to this shit – Crunk + Disorderly
I’m mad that when I clicked “get the look” it
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Selena Gomez and The Lesbeaver have a totally not staged moment in Griffith Park and I’m sure somewhere nearby a yorkie just got snatched out of its backyard by a mountain lion. Where are your priorities, mountain lions?! – Popsugar
Either Prince Hot Ginge is buying me a plastic flower bouquet since he knows I’m allergic to the real thing (no, I’m not) or that’s the strangest front for a weed shop I’ve ever seen – Lainey Gossip
But more importantly, what was in that pill bottle next to Madge’s cake? MDMA or fetus teeth? – Towleroad
BREAKING: This is actually the most clothes I’ve seen on Cindy Lou Who in a good minute – Hollywood Tuna
In case you needed more of Lara Flynn Boyle’s melting face – The Superficial
Um, can you buy tweezers and a brow waxing kit with an EBT card? – Celebitchy
Emily Blunt in Elle UK – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Katrina Bowden in FHM – Popoholic
Charlize Theron in Vogue UK – ICYDK
Halle Berry in the hair of my elementary school friend Armando – Just Jared
The Pepsi Girl’s brother is not going to be in Quentin Tarantino’s next movie – The Daily What Gossip
2015 is the year Jessica Simpson will eventually
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A Bernadette Peters side-eye is just what I needed today and it should win all the Tonys – Lainey Gossip
So who’s going to come out and say that Amber Heard is like 2012’s Sharon Stone – Hollywood Tuna
Meanwhile, Peter Cook also weeped after his laptop crashed while downloading porn for 8 straight hours – Celebitchy
So does this mean that MDNA doesn’t come with a “Molly” tab, because that was the only reason to buy that shit – Towleroad
Does Megan Fox realize how hard it is to scrub black paint out of white wax? – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
This is obviously a huge misunderstanding. Gerard Butler was drunkenly hitting on a dirty mop in a yellow bucket full of stank water and someone mistook it for Lindsay Lohan. It happens all the time. – The Superficial
John Ritter’s (enter your finding here after you study the Ritter family tree) gets down to her chonies for MeInMyPlace – Popoholic
The What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This Hall Of Fame – The Berry
Add Chloe Sevigny to the above link – Moe Jackson
Wheelchair Jimmy does the whole “snort a line while distracting with a middle finger” trick -ICYDK
The hobo hipster convention is in
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The makers of the Danny DeVito in Drag Real Doll really need to focus more on its eyebrow situation – Celebitchy
In “a couple that WTF spit out” news, RiRi might have taken a late-night ride on Ashton Kutcher’s douche stick – Lainey Gossip
Sometimes I just look at Miley Cyrus and think to myself about how I really just want to open a bottle of Pabst on her teefs – Hollywood Tuna
Nicole Richie has come a long way from her Sports Illustrated: Auschwitz Edition body – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Can someone start a Tumblr featuring the faces of Twihards while watching this shit? – Towleroad
January Jones and Jon Hamm have that “doing blow and shots of Jack all night” glow about them – The Superficial
Even Katherine Heigl’s crotch is making a bitchface – ICYDK
MiserAlba blows a bitch air kiss at us – Popoholic
Not sure how I feel about Gwen Stefani’s peroxide lion mane – The Berry
Happy birfday, Chupa Jr.! – Popsugar
Speaking of Chupa, I thought this was her annoying assistant at first and nearly threw up bananas and I didn’t even eat bananas today! – SOW
What in Blade Runner on acid hell? - Just Jared
Okay, but which one is playing Casey Anthony again? – Moe Jackson
Let the campaign begin: ROJO FOR HUCKLEBERRY! – Hollywood Rag
Pig in a sink (not a Snooki post) – Cityrag
Jessica Simpson just fell in love – The Daily What
And this is how the Chace Crawford and Joe Man-Jello fanfic porn starts…. - I’m Not Obsessed
Ricky Martin gives Spain’s Vanity Fair EXLUSIVA! pictures of his family and yes I’m mad that his twin on the right has cooler hair than everyone I know. It’s very “tamed flock of seagulls.” – Towleroad
On the bright side, at least Wilmer Valderrama isn’t trolling Disney’s playground for damaged pieces – Lainey Gossip
I wish JLo’s gut would tell her to slap herself for being a damn fool – Celebitchy
The handicapped inbred jokes write themselves – The Superficial
Kate Moss is just airing out the goods, or maybe this is her way of telling her arch rival GOOP to suck her twat – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Dominic Purcell works his pec cleavage – Hollywood Tuna
Nightmare brought to life: BROWSTACHES! – The Berry
Yes, Jennifer Lawrence has chichis and here they are – Popoholic
The moment a pap told Katy Perry that a Smurf just pooped on her head – ICYDK
I think I’m more interested in who that dog is dating – Popsugar
Brace yourselves backstage people of Broadway, because Rosie O’Donnell is going to terrorize your asses next - OMG Blog
“Why do you think it tastes like Cheetos, though?” – ScarJo to Jessica Biel when talking about Justin Timberlake’s peen during filming for
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