It’s been over five years since Gerard Butler donned his sparse Spartan war gear in 300, clearly demonstrating the joys of IMAX for fans of gory action, as well as those looking for a bloody but sexy treat. Over the years, he’s racked up plenty of romantic comedies and sappy love dramas, some actioners, the odd children’s movie, and even an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. But after a one-two punch like last weekend’s Playing for Keeps ($6.1 million) and October’s Chasing Mavericks ($5.8 million to date), Gerard Butler’s career is looking a little green around the gills.
Still, I have a soft spot for Butler, and I’m not saying this just because when he slow danced with Tom Hardy in RockNRolla, Hardy looked like a baby koala clutching a particularly delicious eucalyptus tree. Even though I dislike plenty of his movies and actively loathe The Ugly Truth, there’s a legitimately charming dude under those poor career choices — and not the kind of gross chauvinism that passes for allure in most mainstream rom-coms. If you manage to ignore all the horny divorcées clustering around him in Keeps, you can see some sort of emotional warmth and genuine feeling trying to break through.
It’s in there. I believe it. I believe in you, Gerard Butler.
While some folks think 2012 signals the end of the world, others think it indicates a major shift in consciousness. A transformation. An evolution. (And some people think it’s just when the Mayans got tired of making their calendar, but I’ll be over in the corner polishing my crystals if you need me.) If you need any proof that people are shedding their skins like snakes, you can look to Hollywood…
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The Daily Mail has a way too long article on Jane Fonda’s second husband Tom Hayden, a left-wing activist who made her give up her fancy ways to fight the cause or some shit, and in it they include a priceless quote she apparently said at a feminist rally.
“My biggest regret is I never got to fuck Che Guevara.”
Che Guevara?! The famous t-shirt model? Why in Urban Outfitters clearance rack hell would she want to fuck that?
No, Jane must be talking about Che from that Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Evita. Jane, you not-knowing tramp, Che was just a character in a musical played by Mandy Patinkin! But if you really need it like that, I’m sure Mandy would be nice enough to bring that fantasy to life for you. Dust off your coochie, pull out your pussy beret and make your dreams come true.
And since it’s Labor Day, I will do some labor for you by posting your official response to this:
You can also dub Dan’s voice with the word “Michael” instead of “Jane” and it works just as well. Thank you.
