GOOPY Paltrow continues her obsession with poop by selling turki shit for the rock bottom, peasant price of $240. And turkis are just like turkeys, but they’re fancier and exclusively from Europe or something. – Lainey Gossip
That glazed look of sweaty shame on Mila Kunis’ face tells me that she’s definitely humping on Ashton Kutcher and she’s not proud of it - The Superficial
Roseanne needs to start a band and she needs to call it Aborted Chicken Fetus Anus – Towleroad
I totally thought this was a still of the Joker as a nurse from The Dark Knight – Hollywood Tuna
Things that still happening: RiRi being a swimsuit, RiRi being on vacation, RiRi being a drunk and RiRi being annoying through pictures - Drunken Stepfather
Poke at me when somebody makes the real life version of Bianca Dupree’s mansion from Beverly Hills Teens – The Berry
John Travolta is ready to sword fight Tommy Girl to be Scientology’s pin-up of choice – Celebitchy
The Dancing with the Has-Beens: All-Has-Beens cast was announced - Just Jared
And when The Lesbeaver landed, his au pair Selena Gomez made him suck off a bar of soap – ICYDK
Bane. A Baby in a Bjorn. Rapping. That is all. – Videogum
Hayden Christensen is really making that Star Wars
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Bristol Palin, The Hoff, Mop Head, The Situation and Ceiling Eyes all sitting in a room together wearing enough sequins to make Johnny Weir’s sparkly fart bubbles feel inadequate. No, I did not just to describe a scene to you from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan. This horrific scene might happen in real life…and on live television!
E! News and UsWeekly are both reporting that the next cast of Dancing with the Has-Beens and Never-Wases includes Alaska’s most famous teen mom, the Tri-State area’s largest supplier of crotch crabs and The Hoff.
Bristol Palin reportedly dumped Levi because he would rather hump on the spotlight than on her, so she’s really showing his ass who can hump it harder. E! says that Bristol’s deal is already done. Anybody who has seen Bristol’s acting debut on The Secret Life of an American Teenager knows that she’s more wooden than The Situation’s head, so this shit is going to be entertaining.
It’s been reported that The Situation, Brandy, The Hoff, Florence Henderson, Troy Aikman Jennifer Grey, Ceiling Eyes and Michael Bolton are all in talks. ABC will announce the full cast on August 30th. This mess of all messes premieres on September 20th, so mark that day on your calendar as the world comes to a crashing end. Yes, it ends on a dancefloor and under a disco ball.
