The mysterious Ferris Bueller-themed Honda commercial that I was telling you about last week has been unveiled. On the one hand, it’s just Matthew Broderick and a string of references to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, with the actor calling out ill to work to go frolic around town in his Honda CR-V. So technically, no legacies were harmed in the making of this TV spot. On the other hand, for a guy who’s supposed to be having a day off, I don’t know if I’ve never seen Broderick work harder in my life.
Anyway, give it a try! It’s only 145 seconds, and will at least buy you a built-in bathroom break this coming Super Bowl Sunday.
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After weeks of rumors, NBC officially announced yesterday that Animal Planet won’t be the only ones who will have a pussy spazzing out during their halftime show. Madge will pop her crotch and put censors on labia slip watch during the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show on Feb. 5 in Indianapolis. Prudish parents better have a good explanation ready for when their innocent snowflake asks, “Why is a charred firework snake sneaking out of that old lady’s bloomers?” While those parents look to the Witch of Endor section in the Bible for an explanation, you can read the full press release:
MADONNA, a multi Grammy Award-winning Universal Records recording artist, will perform in the BRIDGESTONE SUPER BOWL XLVI HALFTIME SHOW on NBC at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis on Sunday, February 5, the NFL and NBC announced during tonight’s Sunday Night Football game between the New Orleans Saints and Detroit Lions. Madonna’s performance will be imagined by CIRQUE DU SOLEIL and JAMIE KING. The Bridgestone Super Bowl halftime show is the most-watched musical event of the year. More than 162 million viewers in the U.S. watched last year’s show. The Super Bowl and halftime show will be broadcast worldwide. Madonna joins an esteemed list of recent halftime acts that includes The Black Eyed Peas, The Who, Bruce Springsteen &
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White Oprah’s vodka plunger mouth has been mysteriously shut during this whole “Ali Lohan now looks like a walking Weekly World News cover” mess and I just figured it’s because she doesn’t issue a MAN DOWN CODE 10 ALERT unless her ATM card stops working or the delivery dude from Beefeater doesn’t show up to fill the gin cooler in her bedroom…and I was right.
White Oprah, seen in the picture above as Mother Unnatural, is telling her friends that everyone can calm their hot b-holes (“Mix a little coke with the innards of a wet Sleepytime Tea bag and rub it on the hot spot real careful-like” – White Oprah giving her mostly herbal remedy of the day!), because her 17-year-old daughter hasn’t plasticized her face and isn’t anorexia-ing her way to model beauty.
White Oprah says Ali is just going through a growth spurt! You know, because every 17-year-old’s growth spurt looks like it was watered with heroin juice and fertilized with back alley collagen that might really be gel soil. A source had this to say to Radar about what White Oprah sees through her delusion-colored eyes:
“Dina is adamant though that Ali is just going through a very big growth spurt, and there is absolutely no cause for concern. If Dina thought for one moment that Ali was
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Full Story »Exciting news for fans of The Other Guys: Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg will follow up their $120 million-grossing box office hit with Turkey Bowl, a Warner Bros. comedy featuring the pair as “two guys from football-obsessed towns who lead rival teams in an annual tackle football game.” Produced by Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez Productions, Deadline reports that Turkey Bowl will potentially include a slew of cameos, Anchorman gang fight-style. Let’s remember that wonderful bit of hilarity ahead.
Turkey Bowl will be written by Robert Carlock (30 Rock) and Scott Silveri (Perfect Couples). Wahlberg has a ton of projects lined up, so when this will actually shoot is certainly up for speculation.
For even better quality fight scene, click here.
· Warner Bros Acquires ‘Turkey Bowl’ For Will Ferrell-Mark Wahlberg Re-Team [Deadline]
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Now that we’ve gotten Obama’s “forged with a rollerball pen that wasn’t even invented yet” birth certificate out of the way, we can finally focus on the more important headlines of the day, like Blake Lively’s hair color! Looking like if Ariel the Little Mermaid left Prince Eric and married a Reno, NV mob boss who made her the manager of the beauty pageant dress shop he uses as a front for illegal activities, Blake Lively showed off her movie role hair color at Time’s Most Influential People Gala in NYC last night. Time naming Blake Lively as one of the most influential people in the world is their way of saying: “We needed more big chichis on the list!”
Because really, the only thing that finds Blake Lively influential is a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal left out on a kitchen counter. That bowl of oatmeal keeps hoping that it will be as oatmeal-ey as her one day! But a ho can keep dreaming, because now Blake is a bowl of oatmeal with a delicious apple cinnamon squirt glaze on top.
In a fascinating peek into the sausage factory that is the new Jason Bourne-less Bourne series, Vulture is reporting that Jeremy Renner’s recent casting as the new heir apparent to Jason Bourne came about not because of some great desire for Renner but as part of a grand compromise between director Tony Gilroy and Universal. It seems like Renner wasn’t so much the bowl of porridge that was just right, but the bowl of porridge that was least objectionable.
Much like Sam Raimi’s recent flare-up with Disney over whether Michelle Williams or Hilary Swank would be cast as one of Oz’s witches, Gilroy had wanted to cast Joel Edgerton, 36, as a new amnesiac super-spy, partly out of concern that a bigger name would “pull focus” from the movie itself. However, Universal was concerned that Edgerton was too much of an unknown and agitated for a younger and/or hotter star. How young and hot? Names like Garrett Hedlund,Taylor Kitsch, Colin Farrell, and even (god help us all) Shia LaBeouf were on Universal’s wish list.
But hot, young stars — like LaBeouf in this case — often balk at auditioning and screen testing, a convention that Gilroy demanded. Others like Kitsch were simply unavailable. And so stuck in a stalemate, Gilroy buckled on Edgerton and he and the studio came to the compromise choice of Jeremy Renner, a respected actor who had enough marquee value for the corporate suits.
It’s honestly not a bad compromise — Renner is an awesome actor and a likable…
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