And that stoned lesbian woodland creature wasn’t even in it. This is a shame. TMZ reports that a paparazzi photographer was struck by a car and killed yesterday while trying to get a shot of Justin Bieber’s white Ferrari after it was pulled over by the LAPD.
Bieber’s car was being driven by a friend of his and cops had pulled it over on Sepulveda Blvd. The so-far unnamed pap had been following the dickmobile in his own car, pulled up near them, and got out to get a shot. The officers involved had told him to move it along for safety reasons right before he was killed.
The owner of the car that struck the guy wasn’t on drugs or alcohol at the time.
I can’t think of a more depressing death. Google Images gives ya plenty of shots of that car, and him in it. Just use one of those. Same situation, different hat maybe. THE MINISCULE DOUCHE WASN’T EVEN IN THE CAR.
If Lindsay Lohan doesn’t go back to jail as a result of today’s news, I have an idea for a film project for her: It’s a remake of Groundhog Day in which LiLo plays the Bill Murray role and wakes up every day to new criminal charges until she gets her act together.
Since Tina Fey is the last person to get a memorable performance out of Lohan, she should write and direct. Harold Ramis, who wrote and directed the original Groundhog Day, could have a cameo as the wise prison warden, and…Jesus, why am I even bothering?
I used to actually believe that Lohan had it in her to carve out a great second act in her life and career by stopping the nightclubbing, cutting off her embarrassing parents and devoting herself to work. But after five trips to rehab, the latest critical savaging she received for her performance in Liz & Dick and reports of her arrest Thursday morning and new criminal charges that are about to be filed against her, I think it may finally be time to declare Lohan a lost cause.
As you probably know, Lohan was busted around 4 a.m. on Thursday morning after she allegedly punched woman at a Manhattan nightclub. Earlier that night, she’d caught Justin Bieber’s concert at Madison Square Garden, but apparently the good vibrations didn’t carry LiLo through the night.
The NY Daily News reports that after exchanging words with 28-year-old Tiffany Eve Mitchell at the Chelsea nightclub Avenue, Lohan slugged the alleged victim in the face.
TMZ reported that Lohan, 26, was arrested as she attempted to flee the scene in a…
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Amanda Bynes’ bumper car adventures are over…until she eventually puts on her favorite disguise (they call her Sneaky McCobijaFace) to carjack a Disney star and continue to toke her face off to terrorize the streets of Los Angeles in the name of her satanic overlords at Nickelodeon. (More on that Nickelodeon vs. Disney in a second.)
Bumper Car Mandy was driving through Burbank at around 9:30 yesterday morning when the cops pulled her over. TMZ doesn’t say why they pulled her over, but I’m sure it had something to do with weed smoke pouring out of her exhaust pipe and screams coming from the bicyclist who clung to her hood after she hit him and kept on driving. The cops ran her drivers license, found out she’s a menace to the streets and put her BMW in car jail.
Amanda’s friends and families are probably concerned that her partner in terror, her black BMW, was ripped from her hands, because now that she REALLY has nothing to do, she’s going to come over, smoke all of their good shit, hit on their refrigerators and have seriously intense conversations with their coffee table about how the refrigerator over there is a frigid bitch and refused to give her its number.
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If Amanda Bynes had any fucks to give about her situation, she already ground it up in her weed grinder and smoked it in her one hitter. TMZ has a gallery of over 20 pictures of Amanda Bynes living the dream by smoking the good shit out of a cigarette lighter pipe in her BMW before eating Baja Fresh tacos and toking up again in a Home Depot parking lot. I know, what a beyond dumb bitch. I mean, who inhales the breath of the Gods while parked in a Home Depot parking lot? Does she really want her buzz ruined by a day worker (who is probably my cousin) knocking on her car window to ask if she needs her roof fixed or something?
Amanda shouldn’t even be driving, because: a) She’s Amanda Bynes and she’s more of a menace to drivers than a Ke$hit song popping up on the radio (Nothing will make you want to crash into the center divider like the sound of Ke$hit’s auto-tuned mouth farts.) and; b) Bitch got her license suspended on August 25th, because she refused to blow into the breathalyzer during her DUI arrest.
The paps first caught Amanda at a Baja Fresh in the Valley and clicked their cameras as she took herself higher in
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Full Story »This August has brought us not one but two ghost possession horror flicks, in the form of The Apparition and The Possession, a double dose of the spooky scary ghoulish torment of nice, innocent people. Why do ghosts always come back to earth to do horrible, icky things? Why wouldn’t they come back to do totally RADICAL things, like make out with hot chicks, race hot rods, and enact some vengeance on bad dudes, all in the form of Charlie Sheen in his prime? I would totally do that if I were a ghost. GUITAR SHRED!! That’s right, get ready for the awesomeness that is the 1986 cult classic The Wraith.
The Wraith, from ski movie auteur Mike Marvin, is a sort of unholy mashup of Lost Boys, Near Dark, and 2 Fast 2 Furious: Tuscon Drift. Tall drink of water Nick Cassavetes (son of John and Gena, and the man responsible for bringing you The Notebook) plays Packard Walsh, the leader of a pack of slightly rapey Road Warrior reject tweakers on a mission to terrorize every dude with a sweet ride into a drag race for their titles. They’re accumulating cars left and right, but Packard can’t have the one thing he wants: the love of stone cold hottie Keri Johnson, as portrayed by living goddess Sherilyn Fenn, seen here before her iconic role as Audrey Horne on Twin Peaks.
Our spirit car (Ghost Car, as it shall be named) arrives by comet one desert evening, right around the time Packard and his cronies strongarm some wheels off the local Barbie and Ken. The next morning, Charlie Sheen rides a dirt bike into town sporting a denim tuxedo with no shirt. He comes across Keri waiting on the sidewalk outside her house, which…
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