Fabio Scozzoli, the Italian Olympic swimmer who can turn himself into a human stingray with nipple eyes just by lifting his arms!
Debbie Phelps might be having a Chico’s kind of day week month year life since she can accessorize her business casual floral blazer with her son’s record-breaking 19th Olympic medal, but Fabio Scozzoli has something Michael Phelps will never have: built-in water wings. Yesterday, I bowed down to the mutant rotisserie chickens trapped in Robert Förstemann’s thighs and today I’m bowing down to the aquadynamic cutlets trapped under Fabio’s arms. I mean, the definition of blessed is being able to pay tribute to Phoebe Price’s chicken cutlet cheeks just by making the Y in YMCA.
You know you’ve guzzled down too much DayQuil when you mistake Aaron Sorkin for Robert Redford. Oh, and he’s obviously just dating Kristin Davis to get closer to Cynthia Nixon so he can get closer to Rojo Caliente. I see you, Sorkin! - Lainey Gossip
Shouldn’t Kylie Minogue have eaten Jell-O off of Joe Manjello’s prosthetic beer gut? – Towleroad
Excuse me while I slap myself right in the face with a chicken cutlet for mistaking Blahna Del Taco for Phoebe Price. It’s the DayQuil’s fault again. – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
This picture of Blohan tripping perfectly sums up everything about Liz & Dick - The Superficial
In other words, Johnny Depp wants to man slut it up – Celebitchy
The Montauk Monster lives in New Jersey! – Hollywood Tuna
Please tell me Color Me Badd is opening for them - OMG Blog
If it wasn’t for the sun not eating at her skin, I’d think Dakota Fanning was a vampire – Popoholic
Unless Johnny Depp used pirate magic to turn his peen into a poon, this is almost impossible – I’m Not Obsessed
Barfing rainbows – Cityrag
Emma Stone on Vogue – IDLYITW
How egotistical of Taylor Armstrong to wear a shirt with her own face
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