David Attenborough, Sigourney Weaver, Alec Baldwin and Oprah can retire as narrators of the Planet Earth and Life series, because this woman in Toronto does it better than them. When an acrobat raccoon got all Cirque du Soleil when it walked across the phone lines, a Canadian woman picked up her camera and narrated the whole thing. Never mind that humanity is doomed since raccoons now know how to use the phone lines to travel from house to house, I’m way too into the narration to worry about that. I kept waiting for her to say, “Clever raccoon don’t care!”
via Metro
Some folks out there may have enjoyed Billy Crystal’s ninth outing as host of the Academy Awards last night, but his turn was as tepid as James Franco’s 2011 “performance” was bizarre. Crystal’s Oscars-themed song and dance routine? Dated. The weak banter and soft barbs at Hollywood’s gathered illuminati? Snoozeville. Given that the previously and frequently great Crystal was upstaged by the night’s random moments (Angelina Jolie’s leg, J. Lo’s boob, those Cirque du Soleil acrobats) and young, actually funny presenters (the Bridesmaids crew and Emma Stone) it’s time to start anew and refresh what’s already known as the fussiest night in the film calendar. In other words: Who would make the ultimate, charismatic, hilarious, non-sucky Oscar host?
Let’s start by taking anyone who already hosted the Oscars off the board, for freshness’ sake; that includes 2005 host Chris Rock, who provided last night’s telecast with a much-needed jolt of real talk hilarity as he presented Best Animated Feature. Or, say, Ellen Degeneres, Emmy-nominated for her 2006 turn, who was nonetheless all over the tube Oscar night in those movie-themed JC Penney ads.
The tradition of hiring comedians to host is a longstanding one that paid off in spades in the days of Bob Hope (who hosted a record 18 shows). But these days even the most daring, subversive stand-ups (read: the funny ones) run up against the stifling sense of decorum perpetuated by the older-skewing Academy; it seems you either get an “edgier” host who dares to push the envelope and draw in the coveted younger demographic — Bieber alone can’t cut it, even if the ill-advised blackface gets…
Full Story »
Never mind that Pink is dressed like a cholita clown extra in a Cirque du Soleil production of Mi Vida Loca (they should really get on that), one of her true gifts is naming babies. Who knew? If Pink was in charge of naming every single baby, we’d have a bunch of toddlers with names usually found on White Oprah’s grocery list. This is a good thing. Pink still has about 6 more months of pregnancy to go, but she tells Access Hollywood that she and Carey Hart already have picked out the name Jameson if they have a boy.
“My dad’s name is James, and my brother’s name is Jason. [Carey and I] are both Irish, Carey’s middle name is Jason, [and] Jameson – we like whiskey. That’s a no brainer.”
Naming your child after booze? This is brilliant. It’s also a valid reason for having kids. Then I could have a little baby Ron Vicaro and a little baby Bombay Sapphire crawling around. Don’t worry, I’d pull a Pink and tell everyone my second cousin’s middle name is “Ron” and “Bombay” was the name of my mom’s childhood cat, or something like that.
Everyone’s favorite NYC housewife (seriously, I polled this Starbucks) reunites with an old co-star for a bridal shower tonight on Bethenny Getting Married. If you’ve been paying attention all season, you know who it is. If you haven’t been paying attention to anything and are acting offended at nothing, you might be Kelly Bensimon. Cheers!
So You Think You Can Dance [Fox, 9 PM]
One of the nine remaining combatants is eliminated, and it sure seems like it’s going to be Melinda. Ne-Yo also performs “Beautiful Monster” and Cirque du Soleil stages a spectacle from their Viva Elvis show.
Rookie Blue [ABC, 9 PM]
An exposed informant vanishes, and Andy must join her training officer on the missing person hunt. The rest of the newbies search for an escaped convict. T.R.B. (Typical Rookie Behavior.)
Bethenny Getting Married [Bravo, 10 PM]
Alex McCord throws Bethenny a bridal shower just as she finds out her wedding dress may be too small. But the big day is coming up, and Bethenny attends her rehearsal dinner in the middle of the mania.
Legally Blonde [Lifetime, 9 PM]
Reese Witherspoon stars as Elle Woods, a flighty blonde who decides to go to Harvard Law because the script says so. Luke Wilson and Selma Blair co-star and do their flinchy and grimacing thing (respectively). Look out for a Raquel Welch cameo!
