Seen here looking like a sad couple leaving the free clinic after learning some devastating news (the devastating news being that she’s knocked up, because even they know a MayKat baby is not what humanity needs EVER), Katy Perry and John Mayer left a restaurant in NYC last night. While Mitt Romney was quickly losing the highly important and coveted Trapper Keeper vote, Katy and John were out celebrating the 35th anniversary of the day David Duke’s used butt enema fertilized a pine cone tampon and made John Mayer.
For his very special day, John Mayer dressed up as a half-assed Canadian groomsman and used globs of pussy lube to style his hair like a douche bag cockatoo who thinks he’s the shit. Dude’s douche hair matches his smug face.
And all morning hate aside, that picture above is sort of sweet. I mean, obviously there’s a non-whitey standing in front of them, so Katy is covering the one eye on John Mayer’s white power peen, because it doesn’t want to see that. That’s real love.
That beard. I don’t whether to say it’s a glorious piece of man fur and should be used to sell Brawny paper towels. Or is it a gross piece of muff that probably smells like dirty ass on a humid day? It looks like it’s about to grow legs and piss on wall corners and hump knees. A dude should probably bring out the hedge clippers, Flowbee and grooming leash when his bushy beard beast starts to crawl past his neck and is about to become one with the hair lake on his chest. Those two bodies of hair should never touch. But then again, it kind of butches him up and kind of makes him look like a leather cub in his everyday clothes. Conflicted!
Here’s Leonardo DiCaprio and his piece of the moment, Bar Blake Erin Laura Crystal or whatever her name is, riding their bikes in Manhattan yesterday. Riding bikes in NYC is a serious sport and is no joke. There’s this bike lane by my apartment and it gets really busy on Saturdays. Sometimes, I stand there and watch the battle between ENRAGED bikers and clueless bitches standing in the middle of the bike lane, waiting to cross the street. I’m always impressed at how the bikers manage to spit out almost every insult in a matter of seconds. “Get out of the goddamn bike lane you stupid piece
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Full Story »I have no idea how this concept eluded me for two years, but there it is: The 3rd annual 20/20 Awards were announced recently, honoring the best films of 1991 after two decades worth of distance and hindsight. Great idea — even though the event turned out just about as anticlimactically as this year’s real thing. That’s what happens when Oscar apparently gets it right.
To wit, the Silence of the Lambs once again swept the major categories of Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress and Screenplay (Adapted), claiming five “Felixes” on the night and leading the way among an unprecedented eight “Odd Couples” to win both Oscars and Felixes. (HA! Cute.) Alas, ‘91 Supporting Actor Jack Palance and Supporting Actress Mercedes Ruehl were overthrown by John Goodman (Barton Fink) and Geena Davis (Thelma & Louise).
Find the full list of winners below. Congrats to all! (* denotes an Oscar winner)
BEST PICTURE
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS*
BEST DIRECTOR
Jonathan Demme – THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS*
BEST ACTOR
Anthony Hopkins – THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS*
BEST ACTRESS
Jodie Foster – THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS*
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
John Goodman – BARTON FINK
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Geena Davis – THELMA & LOUISE
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Callie Khouri – THELMA & LOUISE*
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Ted Tally – THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS*
BEST FOREIGN FILM
DELICATESSEN
BEST DOCUMENTARY
HEARTS OF DARKNESS: A FILMMAKER’S APOCALYPSE
BEST SCORE
Wilson Pickett – THE COMMITMENTS
BEST SONG
Until The End Of The World – UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD
BEST EDITING
Conrad Buff, Mark Goldblatt, Richard A. Harris – TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Lun Yang – RAISE THE RED LANTERN
BEST…
Full Story »
