BeaverTails from Canada’s BeaverTails pastry shop. BeaverTails are a Canadian slab of fried dough deliciousness covered in cinnamon, sugar and whatever else your tongue wants to get on. It’s like a Canadian churro and it can double as a spank paddle. BeaverTails also sort of sounds like “Beiber tails,” which makes me think of….forget it. Not today. Not on this national holiday!
Unfortunately, we don’t have BeaverTails down here in the US so I have to make my own by microwaving a long slab of Bisquick dough in a Tupperware container full of canola oil and cinnamon. Then I’ll spend the rest of my day watching Heavy Metal the movie and episodes of You Can’t Do That On Television on YouTube in my Celine Dion t-shirt while getting drunk on Molson to temporarily forget that Canada gave us Nickelback. Happy Canada Day, everyone!
If the name Sophie Monk is making you “HUH WHO HUH?” like my dad whenever I’ve called him on the phone, all you need to know is that she wanders the streets of L.A., or wherever, looking for a camera to pose for. Before that, Sophie was a sort of pop star in Australia, was engaged to Benji Madden and starred in my favorite movie of 2009 Spring Breakdown. But Sophie no longer has to hit the ho stroll hoping that a condo payment pops out of a pap’s flash bulb, because her shovel has hit gold! 31-year-old Sophie announced to Australia’s 2Day FM that her 50-year-old business man boyfriend, Ceiling Eyes’ granpappy Jimmy Esebag , put a shiny engagement ring on her finger. The details from People:
“I got engaged! It feels right. I think you know when you know.”
Her new fiancé, 50, is the chairman of United Licensing Group, which owns the rights to the Playboy brand, and is also involved with Elite Modeling Agency, according to The Sydney Morning Herald.
Monk, 31, revealed on the radio that Esebag is of French origin and that the pair were friends for some time before getting engaged.
Sophie has the complexion of frozen pizza dough still wrapped in its plastic and Jimmy has the complexion of pizza dough that has been left in the broiler too long causing a black cloud to waft out of the oven and make the smoke detector scream, so that tells me that these two are meant to be! Or maybe it tells me that I’m hungry for pizza dough.
