On last night’s American Idol, JLo moved the hell out of her lips while twerking her shit with a chorus of John Travolta’s wet dreams. JLo wouldn’t be JLo if she didn’t shove her piece into our eyes, and so Casper Smart got a starring spot. Casper twirled out, grabbed on JLo’s ottoman pouf ass and the two practically swallowed each other’s breaths. It looked like an interpretive dance of a seal eating a duck (you decide which is which). I think I speak for the Dragon Tales Twins when I say: “GROSS, MOM! STOP!”
I sort of like that JLo is humping on one of her dancers, because it probably creates serious backstage drama. Showgirls isn’t just a movie. It’s LIFE! I bet Casper gets his own dressing room, a later call time and doesn’t have to eat brown rice and vegetables with the other dancers. Bitch gets it special. I wonder which one of the dancers grabbed Casper backstage and shouted at his ass, “You fuck her for the spot? Or you fuck her cause you wanted to?”
via The Daily Mail
The sound of a high-pitched, virgin blood-curdling wailing poured out of Castle Grayskull on the day that pictures came out of JLo’s hobbit whore playing with her children in Hawaii and so it’s no surprise that Skeletor wants REVENGE! The easiest way to destroy JLo would be to switch the things she loves most (see: her diamonds) with cheap rhinestones since the bitch can’t start her day until she sniffs the luxury fumes off of them while telling them how much they mean to her, but Skeletor thinks he has a better idea. Skeletor is going after (cue up lightning bolt sound effect) THE CHILDREN!!!!
Some source tells UsWeekly that Skeletor and JLo’s child custody negotiations were going smoothly until he found out that her 24-year-old piece has been hanging around the kids. Skeletor is thinking about going against everything he promised to ruin that bitch. The source said, “He wants to make Jennifer suffer because she’s having fun with someone new, and he knows this will hurt her on the deepest level.”
Um. If JLo was a pool, she’d be all shallow end, so I don’t know where the source is going with this “deepest level” shit. There’s two levels in JLo’s soul: the first is MONEY and the second is MEEEEEE! There’s no basement. But Skeletor
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