“Why is that dominatrix ice sculpture blinking?” asked hundreds of party guests at Calvin Klein’s Cannes party - Lainey Gossip
Oh how Ryan Seacrest wishes that the OTHER Hough was wearing this outfit instead – Hollywood Tuna
Pictures that have me wondering if I should maybe try to work out this weekend… But wait, fapping while eating a quesadilla at the same time is considered exercise, right? – The Berry
Like the Kane and Kim are going to even last that long - The Superficial
Those wolf brows make Sofia Vergara look like my Tio Jorge – Drunken Stepfather
The shit Detective La Toya will do for a check - Jezebel
I bet a Madge vs. Goopy cat fight looks like wax-covered two praying mantises playing a super aggressive game of patty cake – Celebitchy
George Michael got into another car crash and thankfully Snappy Snaps wasn’t involved this time around – Towleroad
Edward Furlong must love hanging out with cops – ICYDK
You just can’t take the Coachella out of Vanessa Hudgens - Popoholic
BUT IS PHOEBE PRICE OKAY?!!! – HuffPo
Keith Urban doesn’t want to let go of the millions of dollars FOX pays him to do nothing – Reality Tea
Rooney Mara looks like the ghost of Ichabond Crane in daytime drag – Popsugar
If only we all had elegant moves like this – OMG Blog
Amanda Bynes is totally going to Photoshop her crotch on Wheelchair Jimmy’s face - I’m Not Obsessed
Justin Bieber is still dressing like a rejected extra from House Party 2 – Just Jared
F/M/K time! I’d kill Charles Barkley, fuck The Rock and marry Shaq, because he’s the richest – SOW
James Franco’s in GQ Magazine showing off his black belt fisting skills. Teen Mom Farrah doesn’t know whether to close her legs or try to book James for the sequel to her porn – Lainey Gossip
Why is an inflatable green ball with a face trying to nibble on Heidi Klum’s tit? – Drunken Stepfather
When Denise Richards turned down Charlie Sheen’s stack of cash for taking care of twins he just shrugged and said, “More snatch and coke for me then!“ - Celebitchy
Either Emma Watson’s nipple is really long and skinny or she got a hamburger grease stain on her dress – The Superficial
Just Jack is on TV again - Towleroad
Porn Iguana or Snookitina or a little of both?- Hollywood Tuna
The morphing of Blair Waldorf and JLo was at the FOX Upfronts - Popoholic
Jimmy Choo wants Nicole Kidman’s feet - Just Jared
LuMann and Aviva might not be in the next season of Real Houseflies of New York City – Reality Tea
The look on Tori Spelling’s kids faces says it all - ICYDK
Douche parade and yes, I’d hit them all – The Berry
Vanessa Hudgens either has a herp sore or one of the paps blew a fart her way – IDLYITW
B. Coop wants a lot of balls on his head - Popsugar
Carrie Underwears isn’t ready to rent her womb out to a baby yet - I’m Not Obsessed
Oh…Brooke Mueller…. – HuffPo
Ling Woo > Sandra Bullock – Jezebel
$950 for a shot glass that looks like an oversized thimble from Monopoly? - Videogum
A 13-year-old Cher in her mug shot or Adam from Girls? - Towleroad
Lea Michele at a hockey game, too bad she wasn’t the puck - Lainey Gossip
It’s a good thing Paulina Gretzky can have some privacy time with her pool and a cameraman – Drunken Stepfather
Jenny McCarthy pulls a Jenny McCarthy by talking about tween boners – The Superficial
Hilary Duff looks like a chipmunk stuck in a red Solo Cup - Hollywood Tuna
Katy Perry’s super religious dad called her a “devil child,“ which would make him Satan then, right? - Celebitchy
Alternate title: Celebs With Spandex Crotch - The Berry
Goopy Paltrow just threw a duck egg at her publicist’s head, because every magazine on the planet is supposed to name her the world’s sexiest, most beautiful human - Popoholic
Suri must’ve left her post at the front door for a second, because she let Katie Holmes out of the house SANS FARDS – Just Jared
The jar of Manic Panic is in your court, Kingston Rossdale - ICYDK
But more importantly, why is Keira Knightley dressed like a toddler? – Popsugar
Posh Beckham let Harper the 7th borrow a pair of her jeans – I’m Not Obsessed
Lil Wayne blames his seizures on epilepsy, not Sizzurp, again – IDLYITW
Georgia Salpa does her best Kim Kartrashian impression, looks better than the actual Kim Kartrashian while doing so (although, that’s not saying much) – Moe Jackson
The bad shit might’ve killed Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly - HuffPo
The only masters degree Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah is pursuing is one in fame whoring – RealityTea
Theme park rides made of chewing tobacco and beer…. Welcome to Lindsay Lohan’s Shangri-La! - Videogum
…but twerking is better than tweaking, so lets look at the positive side of this situation - Jezebel
My hero photobombs Pimp Mama Kris and does a spot-on Kartrashian Sister impersonation at the same time – Buzzfeed
Cameron Diaz probably took a weed whacker to the haunted forest on Goopy Paltrow’s crotch - Lainey Gossip
Tuc Watkins will always be Dorian Lord’s scheming boy toy to me and here he is talking about being a single gay dad – Towleroad
It’s a good day when Brit Brit’s tits are sitting in a bra and her weave looks like it just got back from the groomers – The Superficial
Ashley Jizzdale once again proves that duckface is an incurable disease – Drunken Stepfather
Spoken look a true, bona fide Scientologist, Will Smith! – Celebitchy
The evolution of Tom Hardy – The Berry
Shayne Lamas was recently hospitalized for stress caused by her marriage and I guess nothing soothes the nerves like a good old-fashioned staged photo shoot with your kid – Hollywood Tuna
Avril Lavigne looks like one of the South Park vampire kids come to life – Popoholic
Screw Chelsea Handler, tell me more about her mullet-wearing sister on the far right – ICYDK
Daddy Spears needs to up Normal Guy Dave’s clothing allowance – Just Jared
Pfft, White Oprah and Lindsay Lohan do this with
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The President of Malawi snatched away Madge’s VIP card after she showed up unannounced and made the poors dance for her. The only thing I have to say is: HAHAHAHAHA - HuffPo
Halle Berry has a type when it comes to men (hot and insane) and she also has a type when it comes to dresses - Lainey Gossip
Panty Creamer of the Day: Brendon Ayanbadejo – Towleroad
Here’s David Cassidy’s daughter with no pants on – Hollywood Tuna
Here’s Ashley Jizzdale with no pants on and no top on – Drunken Stepfather
Here’s Hugh JackMeOff with pants on and a top on, unfortunately, but he’s got wolverines with him! – Jezebel
Next time Amanda Bynes want to smoke on some good shit out in the open, she should wear a red wig so we know it’s her evil twin – The Superficial
So what lie is falling out of Kim Kardashian’s lie hole today? – ICYDK
This would’ve been the look if Chris Hemsworth wore that vest and nothing else – Popoholic
“Babehs, how are they made?” – Halle Berry – Celebitchy
Oh, how I wish that a drunk Lindsay Lohan and a pilled-up Amanda Bynes were driving that golf cart together… – The Berry
B. Coop and
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This exquisite portrait of Khia in a Gators towel toga needs to be the University of Florida’s official seal – Crunk + Disorderly
James Franco uses over 300 words to say that he fingered himself all through Ryan Gosling’s new movie – Lainey Gossip
My favorite Republican ice sculpture is starring in a play about the Prop 8 trials in Phoenix – Towleroad
Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale do a really good job of hiding their faces from the paps – Drunken Stepfather
And Goopy Paltrow went on to say, “…but still don’t let that heffa anywhere near me, because if it burps in my direction I’ll gain 10 pounds” – The Superficial
James McAvoy is okay with your crotch fur, by the way – Celebitchy
So I’m still watching 90210, because I’m a ride or die bitch until the end, and there’s a character on there named Adriana. They call her AID for short, so when they say they’re going to her house, they’ll say something like, “Hey, let’s hang out at Aid’s house.” It makes me awkwardly laugh every time. Do the writers even realize? Anyway, here’s Aid in a bikini – Hollywood Tuna
Victoria Justice’s dress has a weird growth on it – Popoholic
My day was made as soon as I scrolled down to
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I really hope this cover of British GQ doesn’t give those evil bitches in Hollywood any ideas, because we don’t need a Pretty Woman remake and I don’t need to hear Hermione Granger say, “I got a runner in my pantyhose!” – Hollywood Tuna
Rosario Dawson and Michael Fassbender might be doing it - Lainey Gossip
I think it’s about that time for us to introduce Michelle Shocked to Brit Brit’s old friend 5150 – Towleroad
Lindsay Lohan has a ghost face of bruises on her leg – Drunken Stepfather
And here’s RiRi getting swallowed up by a sink hole - The Superficial
Audrey Hepburn didn’t think she was beautiful…. I hope nobody up there tells her that someone in Hollywood thought Jennifer Love Hewitt was beautiful enough to play her or she’ll really go over the edge – Celebitchy
Hayden Panettiere wants some little treasure trollings one day – Just Jared
A star cookie necklace and a color coding sticker one piece still can’t make Rachel Bilson look like she has a personality – Popoholic
St. Angie Jolie is opening up an all-girls school in Afghanistan and it’ll be the perfect place for her to hunt for virgin blood - Just Jared
This list of baconified stuff is Mama June’s version of Brazzers -
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Kellan Lutz talks to a hot director type on the set of his new straight-to-the-dollar-theater masterpiece and all I can scream is, “KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!” - Towleroad
Prince William has quit flying helicopters with the Royal Air Force, because he wants to focus all his energy on trying to convince Prince Hot Ginge to move to California and shack up with a certain bitter, crusty, skinny fat gay blogger (that’s how I’m reading that item, anyway) - Lainey Gossip
“I want to go to there,” said Goopy Paltrow’s kids as they stared at this picture of Hayden Panatroll nibbling on a bag of Oreos - Drunken Stepfather
And just like that, Kathie Lee Gifford’s got a new favorite wine glass – The Berry
Every frat boy who wore white socks with Nike sandals will file a copyright infringement lawsuit against Sarah Jessica Parker - Celebitchy
Oh how I wish this was a Ryan Gosling panty flash instead – The Superficial
I’m pretty sure that Adrianne Palicki’s dress used to be one of Michelle Kwan’s skating outfits – Popoholic
Kate Beckinsale wore half of a bikini in Mexico yesterday – Popoholic
RiRi and Fist Brown broke up, take 5,678 – ICYDK
For Lil Wayne’s sake, I hope Sizzurp cures epilepsy - The Marquee
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Princess Charlene of Monaco wore this for Pope Francis the Fist’s debut at The Vatican, but she probably wears this same outfit every day to mourn the death of her freedom – Lainey Gossip
Nobody put Gucci Mane and Kim Kardashian together or he’ll slip into a coma from stage 5 boredom – The Superficial
29 pictures that make me either want to spend the day fapping or spend the day using the ab roller that’s collecting dust in the corner – The Berry
Brangie’s child army can only speak French to her – Celebitchy
Tina Fey as Sarah Palin 2016! – Towleroad
…..and then the machine broke - Drunken Stepfather
IN THIS ECONOMY, it was very financially smart for Heather Graham to re-wear the dress she wore to junior prom in 1986 – Hollywood Tuna
I’ll finally get more servings of La Bruja, because The Real Housewives of Miami has started filming again – Reality Tea
Rose McGowan or Chrissy Crocker circa 2006 after a blowout? – Popoholic
If you like feeling emotions, here’s a story about Dax Shepard’s dying father meeting his unborn baby – ICYDK
Rebel Wilson might be in The Hunger Games…. – I’m Not Obsessed
Why you should never take “kill it with fire” literally – Gawker
And here’s Kelly Brook getting out of a car – IDLYITW
Um, being married to Daniel Day-Lewis is like fucking a different man every night, because he always takes work home with him – Videogum
Lindsay Lohan should’ve stolen a bra during her little “shopping” trip – Just Jared
Are Duchess Kate and the Cub Scouts making campfire churros? – Popsugar
England’s finest rose Instagrams a picture of the world’s finest and classiest pair panties. Make sure to put on your coattails and white gloves before clicking - Drunken Stepfather
Jessica Biel needs to take off those net pants, turn around and put them in the FedEx truck behind her, because they need to go back to the year 1997 – Lainey Gossip
Since the perforated condom trick isn’t working, Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to freeze her eggs – The Superficial
I can almost hear the pained cries from that metal ring holding Tamara Eccelstone’s bikini top together – Hollywood Tuna
Benedict Cumsinbatches sings and sort of sounds like Morrissey with laryngitis – Celebitchy
Khloe Kardashian needs to stop scaring the Silver Fox like this – Towleroad
I really thought the first picture was of Jada Pinkett Smith – The Berry
The Photoshoppers at Brahma Beer are still doing weird things to Megan Fox’s already plastic face – Popoholic
What lezzies think of peens (sadly, they didn’t ask Rojo Caliente) – OMG Blog
Jordan Catalano basically went on the GOOP diet to lose 30 pounds – Just Jared
A KUWTK producer admits the obvious – IDLYITW
I think my sister has the same pink coat as Duchess Kate,
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