Sometimes I really have to slow clap for Kelly Preston’s legendary and iconic beard game, because she’s always 100% loyal and doesn’t give a shit while giving a shit at the same time. Case in point: John Travolta and Kelly followed the rainbow which led them to gay mecca of the Mediterranean that is Mykonos. Fun fact: “Mykonos” is Greek for “poke me in the no-no.” Hide yo male massage therapists, Mykonos.
Radar has a few pictures of John and Kelly smiling and waving at the cameras as they stroll through the gayest island in the Mediterranean. (Okay, it’s not totally gay, but it’s pretty gay. It’s true that if you fart in Mykonos. Your farts will smell like the color of the rainbow.) I love the pictures, because there’s John and Kelly smiling at everyone while I’m sure a bunch of gay boys hehehehehe into their cocktails off camera.
Either John and Kelly have the IQ of his day wig or they’re geniuses. I mean, trying to kill the gay rumors by vacationing on the one of the gayest places on earth? I hope John and Kelly keep this “straight love in gay places” theme going, because I really want to see them renew their vows at the White Party in Palm Springs.
We used to consider Aladdin the gayest Disney film thanks to its gilded grandeur, decadent costuming, and, uh, Jafar. “Bring me the boy!” indeed, my good vizier! However, the Internet has proved us wrong this week with a video entitled, “Bonjour, girl!” a redubbed, bitchier take on Belle’s opening musical from Beauty and the Beast. Girl needs to leave this provincial life, STAT!
If you’re looking for a companion piece to this addictive little clip, I advise you rewatch all of Mrs. Potts’s actual scenes in the movie. Lansbury brings the catwalk realness.
Bonjour, Girl [YouTube]
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The worst kept secret since John Travolta’s love for sweaty man taint was confirmed to be true by FOX today. Steven Tyler, JLo and Randy Jackson will be the judges for American Idol’s LAST 10th season. Oh, remember the glory days when our brains would deflate from trying to make sense of Paula Abdul’s incoherent ramblings…and now it’s come to this! JLO and Steven Tyler?
Steven Tyler better feed on the blood of a virgin contestant and JLo better break a stool (you decide what kind of stool) with her double down ass to keep us entertained.
But importantly, what in awkward crotch hell did JLo wear to the press conference today? Not even the gayest baby inmate at the gayest baby prison would wear that glittery disaster called a onesie. A chorus line of slits on your front is not the look. We already know where your vagina is, JLo. You don’t need to advertise it with a giant V.
This is going to be a looooong season.
