In her 5,902,487th interview of the month, Goopy Paltrow tells USA Today that she knows the stick shoved up her ass is a “lightning rod” and people constantly “project a lot of stuff” onto her. She doesn’t ready any of that stuff, because it’s none of her business. Goopy gets that people think she’s too privileged, but she’s just a woman with real problems. Goopy’s not perfect and she has suffered in her life. Goopy does have a point. I mean, one time her laundress used Palmolive to wash her 22k white gold thread sheets. Goopy didn’t know about it until she had already used those sheets. She spent hours scrubbing the average out of her pristine skin with a sponge made from the fur of a wild baby boar. That is SUFFERING!
When Goopy started complaining about how tired she is, USA Today’s writer stroked the softest parts of her ego a bit by asking her how is it possible for her to look so fresh the morning after the Met Gala? Goopy spat this out:
“Are you crazy? I’m like RuPaul! I have so much makeup on. Foundation! Last night, I was literally a transvestite.”
Either English professor Rachel Zoe taught Gwyneth Paltrow what the definition of “literally” is or she’s trying to tell us that she’s got a flaccid, pasty, pencil dick hanging between her legs. Whatever the case may be, she’s offending “transvestites” everywhere, because no transvestite I’ve seen would ever go outside looking that bland, basic and boring.
And I have only one response to her “I’m like RuPaul” comment:
Play it again, because that comment deserves a double slap.
If you’ve read about the Iron Man 3 footage that Marvel Studios has shown to bloggers, then you know that, during the Mandarin’s helicopter attack on Casa Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) ends up flying to safety in one of the armored suits. It sounds like a cool scene, and I won’t be surprised if it’s a set-up for another later in the movie. But I’m not so thrilled about Marvel Studios chief Kevin Feige’s recent comments that Potts could suit up for her own adventures in future Iron Man installments.
Kevin Feige Talks About Pepper Potts’ Possible Future In Armor
Here’s what Feige says in an interview with About.com:
I will tell you this. In this movie [Iron Man 3] we play with the convention of the damsel in distress. We are bored by the damsel in distress. But, sometimes we need our hero to be desperate enough in fighting for something other than just his own life. So, there is fun to be had with “Is Pepper in danger or is Pepper the savior?” over the course of this movie.
In terms of where we go with future movies, we’ll see. In the comic books she does get a taste for the suit and becomes her own hero named Rescue, who doesn’t necessarily battle other people, but is on missions to help people and to save people. Will we do that down the line with Gwyneth Paltrow? Who knows. But her being in the suit is something we have been playing with since Iron Man 2, where we did some designs and it didn’t end up fitting in that movie. But
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Full Story »This latest and last trailer for Iron Man 3 before the Marvel movie’s May 3 release takes a while to work up a head of steam, but stick with it. Do your best to ignore the cringe-inducing dialect that Ben Kingsley has adopted to play the Mandarin — “you’lllll neverrrr see me coming” — try not to be distracted by Gwyneth Paltrow in a black bra and wait for the final shots of this Yahoo! exclusive.
The rumors were true: Tony Stark’s alloyed forces do appear at the very end of the trailer, and they look like a lot of fun.
[Yahoo!]
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