HIGH: A Christmas Tale (The Criterion Collection; DVD/Blu-Ray, $39.95)

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE: Written by Arnaud Desplechin and Emmanuel Bourdieu; directed by Desplechin; starring Catherine Deneuve, Mathieu Amalric, Anne Consigny, Melvil Poupaud, Chiara Mastroianni.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT: Matriarch Junon (Deneuve) needs a bone marrow transplant, and while this is usually a procedure where parents donate to children, Junon figures that she gave her kids life and now it’s time for them to repay the debt. The search for a donor means that black-sheep son Henri (Amalric) is coming home for Christmas for the first time in years, where he clashes with sister Elizabeth (Consigny), who essentially had him banished from the family for his shady financial machinations.

WHY IT’S SCHMANCY: The “mommy dies at Christmas” genre is an ever-more-crowded one, but there’s no easy sentimentality from Desplechin. Junon is haughty and prickly — her barbed exchanges with Henri are classic — and this family tapestry is woven with such care and intelligence that you may find your allegiances shifting from viewing to viewing. I also admire a movie that casually drops cultural references to everything from Nietzsche to Cecil B. DeMille’s The Ten Commandments.

WHY YOU SHOULD BUY IT: This 2008 import (original title: Un conte de Noël) has become one of my annual screening rituals. It’s funny, moving, thought-provoking and endlessly fascinating. And since this is a Criterion release, there are some great extras, including L’aimee, a short film by Desplechin (in which he and his father go through their old family home) that inspired the feature.

LOW: Ernest Saves Christmas (Touchstone Home Entertainment; DVD $9.99)

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE: Written by B. Kline and Ed Turner; directed by John Cherry; starring Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark, Noelle Parker.

WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT: Cab driver Ernest P. Worrell (Varney) gets involved when Santa (Seale) travels to Orlando to hand the keys to his workshop over to kids-show host Joe Carruthers (Clark) — who thinks the old man is a lunatic. Besides, Joe’s more concerned about making the leap to the big screen, even though what he thinks is a family film called Santa’s Sleigh winds up being something far darker. Can Ernest and plucky orphan Harmony (Parker) appeal to Joe’s better nature and save the holiday?

WHY IT’S FUN: From local TV spots to stardom on the big and small screens, the character of Ernest is something of an acquired taste. But it’s hard not to be won over by Ernest Saves Christmas, which features some of Varney’s most inspired shtick, from destroying the always-unseen Vern’s house to dressing in drag as the mother of Joe’s agent. There are also appearances by legendary comic second bananas Bille Bird and Gailard Sartain. Before you scoff too much, see the movie.

WHY YOU SHOULD BUY IT: Hey, Disney! What’s with Ernest Scared Stupid getting a Blu-Ray release and not Ernest Saves Christmas? Someone at the Mouse House should be getting coal in their stocking for this one.

Alonso Duralde has written about film for Salon and MSNBC.com. He also co-hosts the Linoleum Knife podcast and regularly appears on What the Flick?! (The Young Turks Network).  He is a senior programmer for the Outfest Film Festival in Los Angeles and a pre-screener for the Sundance Film Festival. He also the author of two books: Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas (Limelight Editions) and 101 Must-See Movies for Gay Men (Advocate Books).

Follow Alonso Duralde on Twitter.

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HIGH: Alfred Hitchcock: The Masterpiece Collection (Universal Studios Home Entertainment; Blu-Ray $299.98)

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE: This impressive set features 15 films directed by the Master of Suspense.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT: Hitchcock plied his trade at a number of movie studios over the years, so this is hardly a complete retrospective of his legendary career. That said, Universal offers a sumptuous array of some of his best movies (and a few that aren’t the greatest). Recent Sight & Sound magazine chart-topper Vertigo pops up, alongside such cherished classics as Psycho, North by Northwest and The Birds. The box set also includes such lesser-known but equally unforgettable films Shadow of a Doubt, Frenzy, Rope, Marnie and Saboteur.

WHY IT’S SCHMANCY: Hitchcock’s career is notable for more than his directorial talent. After David O. Selznick brought him to the U.S., Hitchcock became one of the most successful Hollywood filmmakers of his time. Then the French film critics who later started the New Wave, made the case that Hitch wasn’t merely a genre director but rather an artist and auteur. He scored a trifecta of sorts when the Alfred Hitchcock Presents TV show, featuring his droll wrap-arounds, made him a household name in this country in a way few directors ever accomplish. All three Hitchcocks — the journeyman, the visionary and the self-promoter — are on display here.

WHY YOU SHOULD BUY IT (AGAIN): Only a few of these titles have been previously available on Blu-Ray, and there are enough extras here to stun an ox, from audio excerpts of the famous Hitchcock/Truffaut interviews to trailers and documentaries. Leonard Maltin even pops up to provide a defense for one of my least-favorite Hitchcock movies, Topaz. If anyone’s going to make me rethink a film, it’s Maltin.

LOW: Unaccompanied Minors (Warner Home Video; DVD Double Feature with Dennis the Menace Christmas $12.97)

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE: Written by Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark, based on the story by Susan Burton; directed by Paul Feig; starring Dyllan Christopher, Gina Mantegna, Lewis Black, Wilmer Valderrama.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT: Spencer (Christopher) and his younger sister Katie (Dominique Saldaña) are flying on their own — “unaccompanied minors,” in airline-speak — to spend the holidays with their father when they get snowed in at a Midwestern airport. Big brother and a bunch of other solo-traveling youngsters must outsmart the airport’s Christmas-hating manager (Black) to make sure Katie gets her present from Santa.

WHY IT’S FUN: OK, yes, it sounds like your typical Home Alone rip-off, but Unaccompanied Minors deftly mixes youthful angst (they’re all the children of divorce) and hilarious hijinks in a way you’d expect from Feig, the creator of Freaks and Geeks. As with his critically-acclaimed NBC series, Feig has a great eye for casting the kids (the juvenile cast includes Brett Kelly from Bad Santa and Everybody Hates Chris’ Tyler James Williams). He also loads the cast with a team of comedic all-stars that includes Teri Garr (as a woman whose holiday decorations are so aggressive that they scare passers-by), Rob Corddry, Sandra Tsing Loh, Mindy Kaling, B.J. Novak, Jessica Walter, Tony Hale, Dave “Gruber” Allen and three of The Kids in the Hall.

WHY YOU SHOULD BUY IT: If you’ve got kids you need to keep entertained this holiday season, or if you want to check out a comic gem that was mostly ignored at the time of its release, this one’s absolutely worth picking up.

Alonso Duralde has written about film for The Wrap, Salon and MSNBC.com. He also co-hosts the Linoleum Knife podcast and regularly appears on What the Flick?! (The Young Turks Network).  He is a senior programmer for the Outfest Film Festival in Los Angeles and a pre-screener for the Sundance Film Festival. He also the author of two books: Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas (Limelight Editions) and 101 Must-See Movies for Gay Men (Advocate Books).

Follow Alonso Duralde on Twitter.

Follow Movieline on Twitter.

For those of you who’ve ever wondered if or how Xenu factors into the more conventional holiday season, along comes this dispatch from the Church of Scientology: “Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard honored the great religious leaders of the past for the wisdom they brought to the world, writing that Scientology shares ‘the goals set for Man by Christ, which are wisdom, good health and immortality.’ It is in this spirit that Scientologists celebrate the holiday season, whether Christmas, Hanukah [sic], Kwanzaa or any other religious or cultural tradition. […] In an annual tradition beginning in 1983 when Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard provided a 60-foot Christmas tree as a gift to the people of Hollywood, Winter Wonderland holiday village is erected each year on Hollywood Boulevard as a service to the community.” Annnnd now I can’t get “Frosty the Thetan” out of my head. [Press release]

Are you really sure that you want to spend $10 this weekend on a ticket to see Garry Marshall’s bloated holiday rom-com New Year’s Eve? (That’s $10 plus the cost of whatever fast food therapy you seek immediately afterward to numb the pain and emptiness you feel after seeing Robert De Niro play a dying man whose only wish is to see the ball drop one more time.) If you think you are, then click through these 10 distressing stills from the set of the ensemble film as a last-minute test. If you get through them without breaking into dry heaves or mild sweats, you’re ready to see New Year’s Eve at the multiplex. Good luck!

Click to launch the gallery.

Read more about New Year’s Eve at Movieline.