Katy Perry And John Mayer Might Be Doing It

One of Katy Perry’s goals in life, next to shooting everything found in a grocer’s fridge section out of her tits, must be to hump on every mega man skank on the CDC’s most wanted list. Because Katy has gone from riding on Russell Brand to taking a ride on John Mayer’s David Duke dick. Katy and John left Chateau Marmont together last night, and UsWeekly says that before every paps’ lens got covered in herp sores by taking these pictures, they were kissing each other inside the hotel:

Perry, 27, and Mayer, 34, had a leisurely dinner together at Chateau Marmont, an observer tells Us Weekly. And the date, the witness adds, was definitely romantic, with the “Teenage Dream” singer and Mayer “holding hands across the table,” sneaking kisses, and laughing.

Katy and John have apparently been bumping nipples for almost two months now. So, Katy’s douchedar is still broken and she’s obviously still into the kind of dude who looks like he’s got 3 out of 5 basic food groups stuck to the bottom of his peen. Hopefully, Katy grabbed that plastic bag floating through the wind and wrapped it around John’s peen several times before she got on that shit.

And if the Anne Shirley of hussies Taylor Swift has hit it and wrote a song about it, you should stay away from it.