Regularly inhaling Charlie Sheen’s coke and call girl snatch breath would make almost any kid run straight to Jesus and that’s exactly what 19-year-old Angus T. Jones has done and then some. For the past ten seasons, Angus has played the half man in Two and a Half Men and it’s made him the highest paid child actor in television. But every time Angus gets a $350,00 check from CBS, he happily cashes in it and then washes his hands in holy water, because that money is dark-sided and has the blood of Satan all over it.
Back in October, Angus shot some kind of testimonial for the Forerunner Christian Church and at the 7:30 mark he tells Christians not to watch the television show that made him a child millionaire. I don’t watch Two a Half Men, because it’s a total shit show. But Angus thinks you shouldn’t watch his show, because it’s filled with filth and is probably on Lucifer’s Tivo To Do List. Dumbass didn’t bite the hand that feeds. He gnawed that shit off by saying this:
“Jake from Two and a Half Men means nothing. He is a non-existent character. If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it and filling your head with filth.
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Full Story »Let’s not bother talking about how Alexa Vega went from 13-year-old Spy Kid in 2001 to a hot hitwoman wearing only a bra and chaps in the forthcoming Machete Kills in the blink of an eye (yes, you’re old, and that was over a decade ago).
Or that Robert Rodriguez, who directed the 24-year-old Vega through adolescence into her teen years in three Spy Kids pics, is probably not pervy at all despite casting his former child actress as a sexy body-baring femme fatale in his tongue-in-cheek action sequel.
If anything it’s you and I who are the pervs, sitting here unable to stop our brains from instantly juxtaposing this first-look image at Vega (via Vega’s Twitter account) as Killjoy in Machete Kills with fuzzy memories of her from those bygone Spy Kids days. (It’s even worse if you remember Vega’s first film role, as Icebox’s cousin Priscilla in Little Giants. )
Nooooooo! MAKE IT STOP, ROBERT RODRIGUEZ!!!
The thing is, any child actress growing up in the business has to deal with this sort of thing at one point or another, and Vega has been steadily working in the indie world for a good decade-plus. Why shouldn’t she get to flaunt it? It’s the association with Rodriguez that gets that cognitive dissonance firing, but I suppose that might only help her performance as a Rodriguez Femme Fatale a la Salma Hayek, Michelle Rodriguez, Rose McGowan, and Jessica Alba – the kind of screen siren whose sultry sensuality is her most lethal weapon, aside from her actual lethal weapons which in this case appear to include guns and cars on fire.
Hats off…
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Also in Monday afternoon’s round-up of news briefs: Hip-hop artist Kid Cudi is joining a romantic comedy; Ben Stiller teases Zoolander; Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders gets a new gig; And Shiloh Fernandez joins Gregg Araki’s latest.
R.I.P. John Clive
John Clive, who appeared in films including A Clockwork Orange, the Pink Panther and The Italian Job, has died at the age of 79. The actor and author, who was also the voice of John Lennon in Yellow Submarine and went on to become an international bestselling author, passed away following a short illness, his family said on Monday, The Guardian reports.
Mike Epps to Play Richard Pryor in Nina Simone Biopic
Mike Epps will play Richard Pryor in Nina, the Nina Simone biopic starring Zoe Saldana. In a supporting role, Epps will play Pryor, who opened for the singer when they two were starting out in the early 1960s. Pryor had terrible stage fright and Simone, in her autobiography, recalled how she regularly rocked him into calmness, THR reports.
Kid Cudi Boards Romantic Comedy Two Night Stand
Hip-hop artist Scott “Kid Cudi” Mescudi has joined the cast of Two Night Stand, the indie romantic comedy starring Analeigh Tipton and Miles Teller. The story centers on two people who meet online and get together for a one-night stand. The couple get snowed in the next morning and are forced to spend more time together, THR reports.
Ben Stiller Reprises Zoolander Role
The actor, 46, showed up alongside designer Tommy Hilfiger and Daily Show host Jon Stewart at Comedy Central’s Night of Too Many Stars: America Comes Together for Autism Programs at New York City’s Beacon…
In the cinematic world of Rian Johnson, where friends are collaborators and cast and crew a part of a close-knit filmmaking “family,” actor Noah Segan is a constant. But after appearing in Johnson’s debut film Brick and his follow-up, The Brothers Bloom, Segan received what he calls a “gift” from Johnson — one of the smartest rising writer-directors of his generation — in the form of what’s sure to be his breakout role: The finely-tuned, gun-obsessed futuristic cowboy Kid Blue in Looper, a “gat man” eagerly hunting down rival Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who’s so fraught with seriocomic human frailty he only grows more sympathetic as he becomes increasingly unhinged.
To Segan’s credit, he shines in the role Johnson tailored for him, inspired by Segan’s own offscreen cinephilia and the actor’s favorite movie — the obscure Warren Oates Western Kid Blue, his signature on Twitter, Tumblr and the film community for years. As Gordon-Levitt’s steely Joe attempts to change his fate by confronting his future self (Bruce Willis), Segan’s eager-to-please Kid Blue illustrates a pained parallel course of desperate self-determination gone wrong. For the actor, who considers Brick the start of his bona fide career and also appeared in Deadgirl, What We Do Is Secret, and Cabin Fever 2, Looper could and should be the catalyst for Hollywood to take note.
As he and the Looper crew took Fantastic Fest by storm, Segan spoke with Movieline about his uniquely personal relationship with Looper and director Johnson, the compelling complexities of Kid Blue, that one time he was on Dawson’s Creek, and why no industry honor could match the feeling of being welcomed as family at the best movie theater in…
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Dlisted guest blogger extraordinaire Sweetas e-mailed me last night about Kleptohan’s latest act of thievery and she totally called when she said that crackburglar will cry out, “It’s in the black girl’s twat!” Because TMZ says that Lindsay Lohan is pointing her sticky finger straight at Suge Knight’s son Andrew Knight. You’re probably not reading any of this, because as soon as you saw that picture of Andrew Knight, you immediately turned around to let him see that thong.
LiLo has reached deep up into her ass and pulled out one of her old excuses by blaming the black kid. Andrew Knight was also at the all-night party at Sam Magid’s Hollywood Hills home when $100,000 worth of watches and sunglasses went missing. Sam apparently told the police that on the day of the theft, two of LiLo’s friends, Andrew Knight and another dude, came up to him and handed him a bag with a few pieces of the stolen stuff wrapped in HER t-shirt. It gets better. When Sam and LiLo talked about the burglary later on, she told him that she hid some of his expensive stuff around his house, because she didn’t want the thieves to steal more shit. LiLo doesn’t really remember where she hid the stuff, because she was high on Ambien at the time.
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Full Story »Magic Mike’s Cody Horn probably could have taken a more direct line to acting – her father is former Warner Bros. president Alan Horn, the veteran studio exec who recently took the helm at Disney – but life took her on a more circuitous path. A passion for movies early on (“I read my first script when I was 9”) led to internships and script reading, and she also earned a degree in philosophy at NYU and modeled, but it wasn’t until she met Joel Schumacher that she was cast in her first film, at 22. Now, coming off a turn opposite Channing Tatum as the pragmatic Brooke in Steven Soderbergh’s Magic Mike, Horn has a host of intriguing roles ahead of her – and she’s determined to avoid being the traditional leading lady.
Horn rang Movieline to discuss the path that brought her to being cast in Magic Mike sans audition, how she and Tatum improvised scenes – and even worked her real life tattoos into her character – and what it was like growing up surrounded by the film business, sharing a passion for film with her film exec father (and giving him notes on a little movie called Harry Potter).
It must have been a fun experience, being one of the only women among this testosterone-packed cast…
I mean, the guys really had this fun camaraderie and they included me in it, and I felt very lucky and happy to be a part of it. They’re all like brothers in many senses.
Your character and Channing’s character are quite opposite in many ways – he’s gregarious and she’s a bit reserved. How much of Brooke’s restrained nature was on the page, and how much did you…
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Also in Thursday’s quick round up of film news, ARC Entertainment is bringing Fat Kid to the States, Meryl Streep gives her two cents on big studio flops, and audiences just are not heading to theaters frequently like they used to.
Fat Kid to Hit North America
ARC Entertainment has picked up North American rights to director Matthew Lillard’s Fat Kid Rules the World. Starring Jacob Wysocki (Terri), Matt O’Leary (Natural Selection) and Billy Campbell (The Killing), the film won the Narrative Feature Audience Award at the 2012 SXSW Film Festival. The film revolves around two guys who form a strong friendship after one saves the other from suicide.
Around the ‘net…
Meryl Streep Has Words for Studio Tentpole Failures
The actress had advice for studio execs behind big budget box office flops like Battleship and John Carter: “Listen to the ladies.” THR reports.
Waiting for the Avengers Directors Cut
Following in the footsteps of other high stakes box office titles, Joss Whedon is rumored to be reinstating footage into a three-hour version of the blockbuster that has taken in billions worldwide, The Guardian reports.
Only 3% Rate Moviegoing as Frequent Form of Entertainment
Only two years ago, 28% of U.S. consumers said “cinema/movies” were a frequent source of entertainment, according to PR outfit Edelman which released the statistics, Deadline reports.
LA Film Festival Lures Woody Allen to Opener
The director is, not publicly anyway, a frequent visitor in Los Angeles, but LAFF managed to get the filmmaker to its opening night. THR talks to the festival’s head programmer on how they made it happen.
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