Anne Hathaway told us a million times over that she almost starved to death to play Fantine and her marriage almost ended during filming and if she doesn’t win the Oscar for it, a litter of kittens will meet their maker. Anne Hathaway has jammed it deep down our throats that she deserves to win that Oscar and she’s said everything she can to embed this into our brains, but now she’s trying some reverse psychology shit. Anne, who already said that her performance in Les Miserables made her cry, tells The Los Angeles Times that her version of “I Dreamed A Dream” is about as exciting as giving a handjob to a soft peen. Anne told her director Tom Hooper that she wanted to do at least 12 takes of the song. After the 4th take, Tom told Anne that she did it perfectly, but she still wanted to go for more.
Hathaway insisted Hooper let her perform over a dozen takes of “I Dreamed a Dream,” even after he said he’d gotten the perfect performance on Take 4. She wanted to see if she could make it any different, any better, any more — “any anything.” But after she’d given 20 more
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After Chris Brown moved his lips to a track (TWICE) at last night’s Grammys, Buzzfeed posted an ode to the rapture in the form of a list of “25 Extremely Upsetting Reaction to Chris Brown at the Grammys” and it could also be titled “25 Reasons Why The Gods Above Should Push The Red Button On Humanity And Let The Puppies, Kittens And Roaches Run The World.” If this isn’t a suicide note from civilization, then I don’t know what is. 2012, take me away!
I’m always throwing a spotlight at kittens, puppies and other animals that are covered in fur and can lick their own assholes (the Kardashians included), but what about the turtles?! So here’s a turtle that can stand on its hind legs! Even the oldest turtle alive Hugh Hefner doesn’t do that on his own when you wave a piece of soggy lettuce above his head. You know what Splinter says? First comes standing on its hind legs, then comes ninjutsu, then our city is finally safe. T-U-R-T-L-E POWER!
via Buzzfeed
I was planning on seeing every showing of Five Fast at the Regal Union Square from 7 o’clock and on (<— this is a lie) tonight, but now I’m just going to watch this clip of a kitten-on collision instead. It has better special effects, superior acting skills, more heart-pounding action and I can stay in my people-free hermit hole while enjoying it. An all-around win!
P.S. – I actually got through that post without making one predictable joke about Russian pussy bumping. Your little dirty asshole is growing up!
via Videogum
Shyla, the 3-year-old chihuahua of New Zealand who is saving the lives of kittens with her nipples! Three years ago, Shyla had a false pregnancy and so she continued to produce leche at almost the same time every single year. Instead of using that breast milk to make ice cream to sell for money to buy diamonds for her ears (or something), Shyla does the charitable thing by becoming a foster mom to thirsty orphaned kittens. Yup, that warm burp you felt in your chest was your heart actually beating.
Whenever Shyla’s owner, Angela McFall, hears through the Southland SPCA or through others about abandoned kittens in need, she brings the Salma Hayek of chihuahuas over to save the day. So far Shyla has saved 13 kittens who would’ve floated off to heaven if it wasn’t for her.
So if you’re ever in New Zealand and find yourself with a parched mouth, you now know where to go! Just make sure to put on a kitten costume first so you don’t freak Shyla out. Viva Shyla and her kitten-saving chichis!
via Fark
Who frowns at an innocent and sweet cupcake? Who stares at a cupcake as though it’s the reason why their urethra is swollen to the point where the jizz just dribbles out? Who looks down at a cupcake like it’s the cause of that annoying ass mosquito buzzing in their ear in the middle of the night and waking them up? KEANU REEVES DOES! Frowning at a cupcake is like frowning at a bowl full of kittens.
It’s as if Mel Gibson and White Oprah simultaneously queefed on his cupcake. If something as perfect as a cupcake can’t cure Keanu of the chronic sads, then what can?!
In his defense, Keanu is shooting some move called Generation Um, so it’s possible that his character is the one who feels nothing when faced with a sugary cake of happiness. But Keanu makes it look so real. STAINS is still putting him on notice.
