Above is a video of hundreds of Norwegian girls sounding like a flock of seagulls fighting over a piece of rotten lutefisk (yes, that’s a metaphor for all of this) while chasing after a van carrying The Lesbeaver. The blonde tornado of insanity started when it was announced that Justin Bieber would give a free four-song concert outside of the Oslo Opera House last night. Thousands of girls jumped out of their panties and ran through the streets trampling everything and anything in their way. It was the running of the Biebers and those crazies didn’t care who they took out. Oslo’s mayor Fabian Stang was quoted as saying that it was the most embarrassing Hunger Games his city has ever hosted. May the odds ever Bieb in your favor.
TMZ says that shit got so crazy that the police almost declared a state of emergency in Oslo. Mayor Fabian Stang even had to hide behind a tree so he wouldn’t get trampled on. When all was screamed and done, 49 teen girls were injured including 14 who had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. The mayor said none of the girls were seriously injured, but he’s still investigating that mess:
“I have already called on the Emergency Planning Agency to examine the entire event from the planning stage to its implementation. We have to find out what went wrong and why it happened.”
Um. Mayor Stang doesn’t need to put together a task force to find
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The Beliebers are sharpening their rattles into shanks, asking their parents to get them a PlaySkool gat for Christmas and turning grade school poems into adorable death threats, because one of their own has gone rogue by claiming that Justin Bieber knocked her up during 30-second not-so-sexy times in a backstage bathroom at one of his concerts. Buzzfeed put together the best death threat Tweets made by a bunch of Beliebers who really need a chancleta-wielding abuelita in their lives. Reading those Tweets is the best birth control, because who wants their child to join these baby-worshiping crazies as the future of humanity? My parts don’t even make ovaries and I’m about to shove an old school Depo Provera syringe up my asshole just in case. Moving on….
I guess Mariah Yeater’s 3-month-old son doesn’t have a Hasbro tag sticking out of his big toe and a preliminary DNA test could not confirm or deny that he’s half teddy bear, because her lawyers still want Justin Bieber to submit a sample. Lawyers for the 20-year-old crazy ho (seen in a bathroom and bedroom photo shoot below) tell Radar that they have every reason to believe that The Lesbeaver is the father of her child and the only way to prove this is with DNA. Justin’s lawyers deny that he ever even met her and he’s
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Full Story »Taylor of Green Gables decided to give Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” the heart-shaped latte foam treatment at a show in Grand Rapids and turned it into a song that sounds like something white ponies in baby blue tutus would twirl to while skipping around the maypole. If Kidz Bop did their own version, it would still be less sunnier than this smiley faced shit.
via The Daily What
More news out of the bustling Cannes marketplace: Naomi Foner, producer, screenwriter and mother to Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, will direct Very Good Girls from her own script. What’s more, she’s got acclaimed up-and-comers Dakota Fanning and Sundance It girl Elizabeth Olsen attached as her leads, playing two friends trying to lose their V-cards during a summer in New York City. But who will play the “charismatic street artist” both gals fall for?
Deadline reports that Dustin Hoffman, Sissy Spacek, and Peter Sarsgaard are also set to co-star in the film, so my money’s on Sarsgaard to play the rascally dude wooing both BFFs. I mean, playing semi skeevy, maybe untrustworthy older guy? Totally his thing.
Although she’s written and produced numerous films, Foner will be making her directorial debut with Very Good Girls; previous films of hers include Running on Empty, Losing Isaiah, and Bee Season.
⢠Cannes: Ealing Metro/Prescience To Finance ‘Very Good Girls’ With Dakota Fanning And Elizabeth Olsen [Deadline]
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