This Getting It In Granny was supposed to get stamped with the Hot Slut title yesterday, but a flasher squirrel and his lots ‘o nuts got in the way, and in the Dlisted world squirrel nuts top car sexin’ memaws (I know that image is just a dollop of whipped YES on top of your coffee).
This is 71-year-old Rita Daniels and if you couldn’t already tell from her freshly fucked hair, that glistening twinkle of an orgasm in her eyes and a smile that says her nose was just smashed up against a backseat while her nana punane (punana?) was smashed up against a peen, she just got boned in a Buick before this mug shot of glamour was taken. The story, that I hope to reenact when I’m 71, started in a bar in Michigan one night when Miss Rita strolled in looking to fill her wild body with some booze and follow it up with a COCKtail chaser if you know what I mean. Miss Rita prowled the bar like a geriatric cougar with a bad back (but a good coochie) and set her eyes on her boy toy for the night 54-year-old Tim Adams who looks like this. Just ignore the facial expression that is sponsored by weak Viagra and cold regret:
Since nothing speeds up the horny like whiskey, Miss Rita grabbed Tim’s hand and took him back to her
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Charlie Sheen stuffed half of White Oprah’s night time stash up his nostrils, drank a Hoff load of the sweet nectar, brutally murdered a crystal chandelier and forced a nekkid ass nekkid call girl to lock herself in the bathroom out of sheer fear, but yet he’s simply brushing the crusted vomit flakes off his chest and going back to life like none of that happened. People reports that Carlos Estevez is back in Los Angeles to shoot a cameo in a friend’s movie on Friday before he takes his ass back to earn the Two and a Half Men set next week. Meanwhile, the craziest thing Jon Cryer has ever done is use cinnamon toothpaste that one time instead of mint and yet he’ll never ever collect a bigger paycheck than Charlie Sheen. Being Charlie Sheen is fun!!! Being Charlie Sheen’s liver, not so fun.
TMZ adds that even though Charlie has been in and out of Promises in Malibu during the past few months, he has no plans to return for more treatment. Apparently, people around Charlie are like “Um, I think I see the Grim Reaper sashaying up behind you” but that hasn’t slowed him down and he just wants to move past the whole “screaming hooker in the bathroom” thing.
As for Denise Richards, she’s been making the rounds promoting some show and she isn’t say much about her ex-husband busting into a cokey-sponsored tornado of rage right across the hall from her daughters. On Joy Behar’s show last night, the former cyborg pussy peddler basically only said, “I do know what happened and I did help him at
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No, that’s not Andy from Little Britain video bombing that newscast above. It’s The News Raider of England (Birth Name: Paul Yarrow)!
For the past few months, a spoonful of dried up oatmeal with thinning blonde hair on top has been popping up in the background of dozens of news broadcasts all around London. If there’s a reporter with a mic standing in front of a camera in a public place in London, you better believe Paul is going to be chilling out behind him wearing the same Malt O Meal colored sweater like a cartoon character.
Not only is Paul a camera fucker who just won’t quit, he probably can name a news reporter just by looking at their ass cheeks. That’s Paul’s greatest skill of all.
Fidgetwith (via Daily Mail) has been following Paul’s career, and they are the ones who identified him as a community worker from South London who has won several charity awards for caring for the elderly. Paul auditioned for a spot on Big Brother saying he’s the “fat guy who wants to be on television.”
Below is Paul’s appearance on Russell Howard’s Good News show.
Boredom is a serious SERIOUS drug.
