Since our friends at Next Movie totally went there, why not bat this one around Movieline HQ? It’s Friday! Live a little. In honor of Michael Fassbender’s infamous display of total nakedness in this week’s Shame — emotional and physical, to be fair — Next Movie ran down the nine greatest “penis moments” in the movies. Yes, Ewan McGregor. You made the list.
Also receiving honors were The Crying Game (of course) and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, although I’d argue Dirk Diggler’s Dirk Diggler deserves higher placement in the rankings. And though this is quite thorough work, I have just one word: Antichrist. (That said, the “greatness” of its penis moments is debatable. Awesome high five sexytime great? Not so much.)
But again, it’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on some cinematic schlong talk. I open the flood gates to you, Movieliners! Discuss: Are there any glaring omissions to the list? What’s with Ewan McGregor’s exhibitionist streak? If you were on the fence before despite the glowing reviews and critical acclaim for Fassbender’s performance, is all this talk of a Fassboner enough to get you to see Shame this weekend?
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Hot on the heels of the announcement that a Michael Jackson biopic may be in the works comes a video interview, over at Next Movie, in which Community star/rapper Donald Glover does the moonwalk and names the King of Pop as his dream role. Coincidence? Who cares? Give the gig to Childish Gambino, already!
Glover explains all that is tantalizing about a Jackson biopic: Good music. A tortured soul. An already crazypants real life stranger-than-fiction story. Besides: Can Johnny Depp do the MJ leg kick? I’m guessing not.
On second thought: Let’s cast Glover, Depp, and a host of other actors (Kevin Bacon!) to play Jackson at various stages of his life, a la I’m Not There. Everyone wins!
• Screen Check: Childish Gambino [Next Movie]
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I’ve said it before: Next Movie’s “Rappers Review Movies” video series is ingenious. The latest rhymer to play Ebert with Hollywood’s new releases is NYC-based Immortal Technique, a lyricist who frequently uses his songs to draw attention to socio-economic and political disparities. Taking on Tarsem’s Greek actioner Immortals, he drops some serious conscious commentary on even greater issues: Namely, how much Clash of the Titans and the next-gen Star Wars movies totally sucked. PREACH!
Well, first Immortal Technique invokes Kubrick’s name in discussing “that raw element of humanity,” then praises Mickey Rourke for being “the illest bad guy.” He moves on to the work of art that is naked (via body double, I’m pretty sure) Freida Pinto, disappointed that her sex scene is “G-rated.”
Onto dialogue, the spoken words — Immortal Technique’s specialty! “It wasn’t that kind of cheesy Phantom Menace, Clone Wars [dialogue] where we were all expecting a great movie,” he pontificates. “Lucas, did you write this on the toilet six hours before the script was due?”
And there’s still more yet in Immortal Technique’s immortal Immortals review. Watch it below, and hit the link to watch all of Next Movie’s archived rapper reviews.
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• Immortal Technique Reviews ‘Immortals’ [Next Movie]
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Since Lindsay Lohan can’t even get a job scaring the bowels out of a bitch with her “Ayes Snort Your Brainz” face at Knott’s Scary Farm, White Oprah needs somebody to be the main coke winner of the family since the ball of Vicodin mash in her head gets an allergic reaction every time it thinks of getting a real job to support her family. And the only cure for that allergy is to a shove a Neti Pot full of vodka up the swollen anus on her nose. Who’s going to pay for her medicine?! That’s where 17-year-old Ali Lohan comes in.
As you’ve already laughed your lungs out, Ali was signed to NEXT Model Management back in August and was called a future fashion icon by her agent (who obviously said this after staring deep into the crystal meth ball). And now here’s the future of fashion (“But I want to live in the past…” – fashion) on something called Fault Magazine with a rayon dutch boy wig on her head and an ear full of White Oprah screaming at her to pose faster, because they need to get to the plastic surgeon’s office so he can make her even skinnier by lipoing out the fatter pieces of her soul.
I pains me to say this, especially as
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Full Story »Seems the folks at Paramount and New Regency are itching to help Darren Aronofsky build his ark; as Deadline reports, the two have finally sealed the deal to partner on the $100+ million Biblical epic Noah. Also: It’s being fast-tracked to begin production as early as next spring, which means it’s about time Aronofsky gets to casting this sucker. Can we just take a vote for Christian Bale as Noah and call it a day? [Deadline]
Full Story »A cool bit of graffiti art popped up overnight at Fantastic Fest for Adam Wingard’s buzz film You’re Next, which screens later tonight. Passes to the hotly anticipated horror pic, which was picked up by Lionsgate after a Toronto Film Festival bidding war, sold out quickly online and with fest faves A.J. Bowen and director Ti West (who both star in the film) in town it’s one of the hot tickets for tonight. Is Banksy in our midst as well, spraying movie promos all over Austin? Or Mr. Brainwash? (Or both, if they’re the same person??)
Probably neither, but you never know. A similar graffiti campaign materialized in Toronto when You’re Next premiered there; this piece adorns the outside wall at the Alamo Drafthouse. This is the kind of thing that could make for a distinctive, out of the ordinary marketing move for Lionsgate come next fall, when they’ll reportedly release the film.
[Photo via Chase Whale/Fantastic Fest]
Follow Movieline on Twitter (@Movieline) for more updates from Fantastic Fest.
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It has been a complete year since Starz pulled the plug on Party Down, and creator Rob Thomas refuses to give up hope on reuniting Adam Scott, Ken Marino, Lizzy Caplan and Martin Starr for a big screen adaptation. “People are talking to us about doing a Party Down movie,” he said. “We are pretty far down the deal-making process with that, so we’re hopeful that there will be a Party Down movie. Ideally, if it works out we could be shooting in television hiatus time next spring.” Are we having fun yet? [SlashFilm]
Hollywood legend Warren Beatty caused quite a stir two weeks ago at the Los Angeles Times Hero Complex Film Festival when he teased the possibility of a sequel to Dick Tracy. “I’m gonna make another one,” he said. Though maybe “another one” was simply code for another movie. For the first time since the disastrous Town & Country was released in 2001, Beatty has another film project in the works.
Paramount Pictures announced a pact with Beatty on Monday night to release his first directorial outing since 1998’s Bulworth. “Warren’s script is quintessential Beatty, elegantly written and wonderfully entertaining,” said Paramount CEO Brad Grey in a statement. “It is our privilege to have one of the great artists in the history of the film industry come home to Paramount.” Beatty previously made both Heaven Can Wait and Reds for the studio in 1978 and 1981. The films earned a 21 combined Oscar nominations, and garnered Beatty his only Academy Award for Best Director.
The untitled comedy is scheduled to go into production at the end of this year.
· Paramount Pictures Pacts For Warren Beatty’s Next Picture [Deadline]
[Photo: Getty Images]
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Famous people sometimes say horrible things, but does that ever mean you stop ankling to the cineplex and spending $13 to see their new movie? In the case of the now-apologetic Tracy Morgan, who made “jokes” (for lack of a better word) during a standup act about how he’d stab his own son if he said he was gay, the commitment to protesting his movies isn’t a harrowing one; he’s obviously known more for his TV roles on 30 Rock and SNL than, say, his filmic contributions like Death at a Funeral. But based on principle alone, do you refuse to see his next movie, which is likely to be released this year?
Morgan’s next cinematic treat is The Son of No One, which premiered at Sundance this past January. The action film stars an otherwise inoffensive cast (Channing Tatum, Al Pacino, Juliette Binoche, and the only slightly incendiary Katie Holmes) and concerns a young cop and grisly news about a pair of murders that rattles his neighborhood.
Could be great, for all I know!
But will you not see it? Think of the issue this way: Were you at all interested in seeing The Beaver?
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Paul Thomas Anderson’s next film, an untitled drama about a charismatic, pseudo-Scientological religious leader (Philip Seymour Hoffman, perhaps paging Paul Dano in There Will Be Blood), will get a boost from Friday Night Lights alum Jesse Plemons as the guru’s son. It’s spot-on casting; they’re very related-looking. That’s like if Daniel Plainview’s brothers were played by Blue Bloods-era Tom Selleck and the Pringles guy. The movie costars Joaquin Phoenix, Laura Dern, and veteran character actor David Warshofsky. [Variety]
