“Why is that dominatrix ice sculpture blinking?” asked hundreds of party guests at Calvin Klein’s Cannes party - Lainey Gossip
Oh how Ryan Seacrest wishes that the OTHER Hough was wearing this outfit instead – Hollywood Tuna
Pictures that have me wondering if I should maybe try to work out this weekend… But wait, fapping while eating a quesadilla at the same time is considered exercise, right? – The Berry
Like the Kane and Kim are going to even last that long - The Superficial
Those wolf brows make Sofia Vergara look like my Tio Jorge – Drunken Stepfather
The shit Detective La Toya will do for a check - Jezebel
I bet a Madge vs. Goopy cat fight looks like wax-covered two praying mantises playing a super aggressive game of patty cake – Celebitchy
George Michael got into another car crash and thankfully Snappy Snaps wasn’t involved this time around – Towleroad
Edward Furlong must love hanging out with cops – ICYDK
You just can’t take the Coachella out of Vanessa Hudgens - Popoholic
BUT IS PHOEBE PRICE OKAY?!!! – HuffPo
Keith Urban doesn’t want to let go of the millions of dollars FOX pays him to do nothing – Reality Tea
Rooney Mara looks like the ghost of Ichabond Crane in daytime drag – Popsugar
If only we all had elegant moves like this – OMG Blog
Amanda Bynes is totally going to Photoshop her crotch on Wheelchair Jimmy’s face - I’m Not Obsessed
Justin Bieber is still dressing like a rejected extra from House Party 2 – Just Jared
F/M/K time! I’d kill Charles Barkley, fuck The Rock and marry Shaq, because he’s the richest – SOW
Stephen Baldwin was arrested for not paying taxes 4 years ago and it looks like during that 4 years he’s been regularly practicing his Blue Steele face in the mirror so he’d be extra ready for the mug shot camera. That sweet pucker really tops this off. - The Superficial
ScarJo’s new piece looks like the gay French version of her last piece – Lainey Gossip
Wait, so all gay nurses don’t keep a tube of lipstick on them just in case a patient needs a touch up? – Towleroad
If you put polyester wigs on Mary Carey’s tits and painted creepy eyes on them, they’d almost look like Marie Osmond’s dolls – Hollywood Tuna
Jessie J is still allergic to pants – Drunken Stepfather
Neil Lane?! Angie Jo and Brad Pitt are obviously classy enough to realize only Bed Bath & Beyond sells the finest wedding jewelry out there – Celebitchy
Jessica Biel and high fashion go together like Justin Timberlake and movie acting – The Berry
Amanda Seyfried’s belt looks like some kind of cow bone. Call PETA! – Popoholic
When are we going to find out that Taylor Swift actually Super Glued her hand to Harry Styles’ hand? – Just Jared
Something tells me Shenae Grimes’ fiancé is going to call
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Nicole Kidman as Grace Kelly looks like Nicole Kidman with a good wig – Lainey Gossip
Emily Blunt might play Ms. Marvel in the next Avengers movie, but I’m still waiting for them to a Dazzler movie – The Superficial
If you want to look graceful and glamorous while having a migraine, follow Salma Hayek’s lead – Drunken Stepfather
Danny DeVito’s wandering peen might’ve been the wang that broke his marriage’s back – Celebitchy
Kelly Brook on Nuts (not like that) – Hollywood Tuna
What Big Bird is really trying to say to the Obama campaign is, “Ho, I didn’t get paid for this!” – Towleroad
Oh, yes, The Canyons is going to be a community college film school mess – IDLYITW
Former HSOTD Julia Gillard lets a trick have it – Jezebel
Heidi Klum is still doing her bodyguard – ICYDK
Somebody tell Jessica Biel that taking a stud gun to her old Thriller costume wasn’t a good idea – Popoholic
Blond bangs are a privilege and not a right and Demi Lovato needs to know this – Just Jared
For once, Duchess Kate is the most clothed one in a picture! – Popsugar
Don’t call David Furnish Elton John’s “partner” – OMG Blog
“This tablet is so hot that it just give my co-host the vapors!” - The Frisky
All of this can be settled with a disco dance-off refereed by Gay Al Reynolds – Videogum
Why must the Louisiana trailer park flower kill me softly with her UGGs – Cityrag
Does this mean that Paula Abdul will have to learn how to count? - I’m Not Obsessed
If only mirrors had eyes to roll – Hollywood Rag
If we didn’t know Drew Barrymore was knocked up (since she’s never told us, rude!), this picture would look like the photographer caught her and her new husband having an intimate “pushing the gas out” moment – ICYDK
I was expecting Miley Cyrus’ engagement ring to be made out of squirrel bones and a mood stone – Lainey Gossip
Charlie Sheen has a foot fetish, wants to bone Denise Richards again and looks like something you’d find passed out in the last stall in the Port Authority men’s bathroom – The Superficial
Cut to 15 years from now when Channing Tatum’s career has dried up and he has to pay his mortgage by twerking his ass cheeks in a Chippendales show: “It’s good to be back!” - Towleroad
Tammy Lynn Michaels IS getting money, bitch – Celebitchy
Oh, AnnaLynne McCord is just sucking on a popsicle in a bikini while at the beach by herself and no this isn’t a completely staged and set up photo op – Hollywood Tuna
Three seconds after this picture was taken, a bird flew by and Christian Bale bitched it out for ruining his fucking shot – The Berry
Kate Upton giving us “young Anna Nicole Smith” glamour. Oh yeah, and she’s also giving us a whole lot of chiiiiiiiichiiiiis – Popoholic
How many times
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What in the Batman meets Hefty bag hooker Hell is that on Adrienne Bailon’s body? – Hollywood Tuna
Sandra Bullock’s maybe piece looks like a younger Simon Cowell. Maybe that’s why Baby Louis can’t stop side-eyeing – Lainey Gossip
Either Mad Mel finally got a blowjob or his veterinarians sedated him with the same shit they sedate rabid bears with, because he was TOO calm on Leno – The Superficial
January Jones’ baby does have Matthew Vaughn’s hairline… – Celebitchy
RuPaul is not about to let lying bitches fuck up the Drag Race finale – Towleroad
Why is Kate Upton allowing her nipple to get that close to Troyzan from Survivor? – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Where have the Glittery Gays of YouTube been, because I need them to recreate RiRi’s new video next to the BBQ in their mom’s backyard – The Berry
The skinny ass chipmunk that is Miley Cyrus walking to her car, take 5,298 – Popoholic
A true American hero – The Daily What
Patrick Dempsey is like the new Ryan Gosling – IDLYITW
Lady CaCa needs to be in prison for committing My Little Pony genocide – Just Jared
More privileged white girl problems coming your way! – Popsugar
Do
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Madge has a new single called “Girl Gone Wild With Photoshop“ and on the cover for the single she’s got a new face obviously inspired by Amanda Lepore – Towleroad
JLo let Casper Smart stay up past his bedtime last night – Lainey Gossip
Spaz de la Huerta does another exquisite photo shoot that looks straight out of Ladies Home Journal – (site NSFW) Drunk Stepfather
Upside down camel toe alert! – Hollywood Tuna
In other news, Katy Perry has also asked Paula Deen to be her nutritionist – The Superficial
Ryan Gosling is in every single movie this year and yet he’s not in Jimmy Kimmel’s Movie: The Movie with every other actor who is currently living on earth – The Berry
Natalie Portman, please move to the side, because I’d like my eyes to pay complete attention to the hot memaw in spaghetti straps behind you – Popoholic
KNOCKED UP: Uma Thurman is – ICYDK
ASkars looking hot as fux in a tux – Just Jared
Glamberace’s eyebrow situation vs. Justin Mikita’s eyebrow situation – OMG Blog
Every single picture from the Vanity Fair party. Every single one. – Popsugar
Rehab did Gerard Butler some good and by that I mean he looks like he took a
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The portrait of real love is CoCo’s honey-glazed titty balls spilling out of her quinceanera dress at hers and Ice-T’s 10th anniversary ball – Crunk + Disorderly
If world-renowned artist James Franco put a frame around that forehead zit and auctioned it off at Sotheby’s, it would beat records and shit – Lainey Gossip
Karrueche Tran is such a caring girlfriend for letting Chris Brown fuck and whoop on other tricks – The Superficial
Brandi Glanville is living the dream – Celebitchy
But why does this naked ass pregnant model have chopstick antennas sticking out of her hat? – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Jessie J’s dress looks like something Austin Scarlett would make if there was a hemoglobin challenge on Project Runway – Hollywood Tuna
What in the hell kind of GD gay marriage photo shoot doesn’t include at least 100 hi-res shots of honeymoon butt sex? – Towleroad
HA@Evan Rachel Wood thinking she’s Duckie – The Berry
HA@Nicki Minaj thinking she’s a Marilyn Monroe Avatar – ICYDK
The wailing girl who got Nicole Scherminger fired is a Nickelodeon star now – Just Jared
Speaking of Scherminger, she was at the BRIT Awards for some reason – Celebslam
I am much more interested in what’s going on between that
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2 Girls, 1 Cup! The cup is missing from the picture, because I’m currently wet heaving into it – Lainey Gossip
It looks like Whitney Houston didn’t have a Calgon moment gone wrong after all – The Superficial
This is not what I was expecting when I Googled “man’s best friend pulled out of long hole” – Towleroad
Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd make puckery labia lips on GQ – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
The CDC legally forced Bombshit McGross to wear that t-shirt as a warning label, right? – Hollywood Tuna
David Gandy is on the market and the line forms to the left of NOT A CHANCE IN HELL – The Berry
FYI: Adele is permanently horny – Celebitchy
If there was a Tom of Finland comic book, Kellan Lutz would be the villain in it - Just Jared
It was nice of Alexis Carrington to lend St. Angie one of her old bath robes – ICYDK
Kate Upton wearing an arm bra in Esquire – Popoholic
Thirty seconds later Justin Theroux is like, “You can let me go now, I’m not going anywhere.” Forty five minutes later Justin is like, “No, seriously, I’m not going anywhere and I’m about to piss all over your stomach.” –
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Obviously, Dexter’s ginger beard of fiery dreams has brought him and his ex-wife back together again. No woman can resist a ginge who looks like a hipster leprechaun lumberjack. – Lainey Gossip
The Steve-O of Norway is just winking at Darwin now – Towleroad
Amber Rose looks like she’s smuggling three litters of pugs in her leggings – Hollywood Tuna
FYI: Miranda Kerr’s baby weighs more than she does – The Superficial
Jodie Marsh was robbed of a role she was born to play! – Celebitchy
Four words I was not expecting to read today: Nia Long Camel Toe - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
If only they made lights that could perk up Simon Cowell’s depressed titties too – The Berry
I see that Vanessa Hudgens gets her fashion inspiration from Courtney Stodden’s elegant armlet – Popoholic
Sarah Jessica Parker takes a night off from scaring the children by covering her cronie hands – Popsugar
I’m more disappointed that Russell Brand didn’t sign his name with a smiley peen – ICYDK
R.I.P. House – Just Jared
The Liposuction of Venus – OMG Blog
In possibly related news, Jersey City has announced it will start putting Valtrex and antibiotics in the water - I’m Not Obsessed
KD Lang is looking AWFUL – SOW
True love served 12 different ways – Cityrag
Rose McGowan’s face is slowly slipping off of her head – Moe Jackson
Prince, come and get your squirrel – The Daily What
Speaking of Majela ZeZe Diamond, RiRi better have paid her a copyright license fee for taking her whole look – Hollywood Tuna
Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams should get their arms surgically attached to each other since they literally are never not touching each other. (Those car pictures don’t count, so don’t pass that as evidence to the defense.) – Lainey Gossip
If in the near future an episode of The Voice looks vertically stretched Promise of a New Day-style, you now know why – The Superficial
Translation: Kim Kuntrashian has already fucked her way through the NFL and the NBA, and there’s no one else to fuck. – Celebitchy
These pictures will look touching and special on the Shannon family mantel – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
You know you’re a piece of trash when Harry Potter hates you – Towleroad
Miley Cyrus’ “$20 for a blow, $30 for a lay” lot lizard look is not the look – Popoholic
At any moment of the day, you can tell yourself “James Franco is taking a picture of himself on his iPhone right now” and you’d be telling the truth – The Berry
From Teen Mom to Teen Prison Bitch – ICYDK
The full Avengers trailer is here – Just Jared
Alec
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