If Amanda Bynes had any fucks to give about her situation, she already ground it up in her weed grinder and smoked it in her one hitter. TMZ has a gallery of over 20 pictures of Amanda Bynes living the dream by smoking the good shit out of a cigarette lighter pipe in her BMW before eating Baja Fresh tacos and toking up again in a Home Depot parking lot. I know, what a beyond dumb bitch. I mean, who inhales the breath of the Gods while parked in a Home Depot parking lot? Does she really want her buzz ruined by a day worker (who is probably my cousin) knocking on her car window to ask if she needs her roof fixed or something?
Amanda shouldn’t even be driving, because: a) She’s Amanda Bynes and she’s more of a menace to drivers than a Ke$hit song popping up on the radio (Nothing will make you want to crash into the center divider like the sound of Ke$hit’s auto-tuned mouth farts.) and; b) Bitch got her license suspended on August 25th, because she refused to blow into the breathalyzer during her DUI arrest.
The paps first caught Amanda at a Baja Fresh in the Valley and clicked their cameras as she took herself higher in
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The bad news is that Randy Travis is still disturbing the peace with his drunken acts of sad country song fuckery. The good news is that this time, Randy Travis didn’t rub his butt sweat all over the backseat of a cop car. The other bad news is that Randy Travis’ latest boozed up date with the cops didn’t end with him walking away with a fresh pair of paper pants. Getting busted by the cops isn’t so bad when you get a pair of paper pants out of it.
Randy Travisty was put in handcuffs earlier this year after he was caught high on the sweet nectar in front of a church near his house, and a little over two weeks ago he was busted for drunkenly crashing his car before taking all his panties off in public. TMZ says that Randy earned the latest jewel on his record at around 1 this morning when the police were called to a church parking lot in Plano, TX, because Randy and some other dude were scrappin’ over a woman.
An officer tells People that the woman is apparently Randy’s latest girlfriend and she was arguing with her estranged husband in the church parking lot. Being the drunken Captain Save A Ho that he is, Randy threw himself
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Nine months after the second wife of baby wipes aficionado, Terrence Howard, filed for divorce on the grounds that her asshole was missing some Charmin, she was granted a restraining order against him. Michelle Howard claims that Terrence Ike Turnered her several times, threatened to murder her and had her bawling in a parking lot. Since the box between the in box and the out box at the L.A. Courthouse is marked “TMZ,” they got a hold of the documents and listed all the messy shit that Michelle is accusing Terrence of doing to her:
smacking her in the face and chipping her tooth with his wedding ring
throwing her down to the ground in a parking lot
telling her, “I’ll hit a woman quicker than I’d hit a man”
Saying, “If you tell anyone about my personal business, I will kill you and no one will ever know
Screaming, “Bitch, walk home. That’s my car, I pay for it.”
But Terrence shot back with his own papers claiming that Michelle is making it all up to get more money out of him. Terry would never hurt a fly. In fact he’d befriend that fly and clean its little fly asshole with a little fly baby wipe so that it could smell fresh around its little fly friends. Terry
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Full Story »Remember yesterday how I said that the crazy bitch who spit up bat shit at Usher for parking in a handicap spot should smoke some a bowl out of a Valium bong while a kitten massages her ear with its purrs to calm her ass down? It’s a good thing I kept a receipt for that comment, because I’m taking it back. Usher deserves to be covered with bat shit and beat with a dozen handicap parking placards for giving birth to the maple syrup-covered anti-Christ who is responsible for this dark-sided drummer boy fuckery (featuring Busta Rhymes).
The drummer boy just stopped drumming and poked his ears out with his sticks. Jesus just put a call in to Maury, because if he can prove that God is not the father, then Christmas is canceled forever and this song can be erased from the planet to never be heard from again. Jesus, let me dial that number for you.
Oh, and here’s another one to bang your head against a wall to. Mimi, you’ll never be forgiven for this.
Hope you enjoyed that earlier look at Will Smith’s mega-massive Men in Black III trailer. The New York City Mayor’s Office of Film has asked that the 53-foot long trailer move off the SoHo street it has been calling home, and into a parking lot. What caused this request?
Well, the neighbors. Nicknamed “The Heat” and featuring — according to the New York Post — a satellite dish, 100-inch screen home theater, assistant offices and an all-granite bathroom, the 1,150 square foot trailer drew the ire of SoHo residents. Said one to the Post:
“This thing is like a duplex. How would Will Smith feel if I parked that thing out in front of his house? People forget this is a residential neighborhood, not a film lot — that thing is taking up half our gasoline reserve.”
No wonder gas is almost $4.30 per gallon! It’s Big Willie’s fault! The Office of Film didn’t mention gasoline reserves in their statement, but did allude to the “interests” of the neighborhood as part of the reason why “The Heat” needed to move to a nearby parking lot. Let’s hope Men in Black III and the looming threat of even higher gas prices have similar happy endings. Check out the trailer below.
· Will Smith’s movie set trailer relocated to parking lot [NYP]
