Much like the newspaper boy from Better Off Dead, Demi wants her $2.00. FOUR WEEKS, TWENTY PAPERS, THAT’S TWO DOLLARS, PLUS TIP. Even though her ass is by far richer and more plasticized than Ashton Kutcher, the hold up in Dummy Demi Moore filing for divorce according to TMZ is her need for some of Ashton’s cash. Okay, in our Ramen Noodle, store brand bread and Pabst Blue Ribbon worlds, Ashton is fabulously wealthy (yes, I just typed Ashton and fabulous in the same sentence, and yes, you should slap the shit out of me for that) but when you look at Demi’s net worth, you see that #getmoneybitch doesn’t really apply here. It’s like Donald Trump rolling the valet for his $75 in tips for the day. Bitter much?
Sources say that they can’t agree on the settlement, and she wants a fat one (don’t we all?) like the one she got when she divorced Bruce Willis. Even though she is loaded in more ways than one, she’s not just going to cut her losses and walk away like that!! In Ashton’s dreams. While he has Mila Kunis on the one side screaming “Get rid of that funky chicken dancing bitch or no more pussy popping for YOU!” he has Demi on the other side screaming…well, some unintelligible shit because she’s wasted on whippits and Red Bull. But the point of her screams is supposed
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Full Story »In our pre-Mayan apocalypse era, when you want to ensure that whatever you say is disseminated far and wide faster than the time it takes to tweet ‘DID YOU SEE THIS ###$$!!!’ the best advice is to master the subtle art of trolling with useful facts. Case in point: Joss Whedon, who screened The Avengers and afterward, sat for one of Jeff Goldsmith’s Q&As Tuesday night at the Director’s Guild of America in Hollywood.
During a discussion that also included some tantalizing non-reveals about elements that almost, but didn’t make it into The Avengers, he decided to troll the entire universe by insisting that Star Wars: A New Hope is better than The Empire Strikes Back. Kind of!
Slashfilm was on the scene and reports this comment: “I still believe that even though The Empire Strikes Back is better in innumerable ways than Star Wars, Star Wars wins,” Whedon said, “because you can’t end a movie with Han frozen in carbonite. That’s not a movie, it’s an episode.”
Okay, after putting my fist back down and unclenching it, I see his point. Empire began what has become the most troubling aspect* of Hollywood’s obsession with trilogies; a stand alone first installment, with two subsequent films that work better as a duo rather than taken individually. A true trilogy ought to either feature three films that either work as stand alone stories linked by a common theme, or two cliffhangers in a row with resolution coming in the third movie. Empire, and to a lesser extent Jedi, manage the trick with some subtlety, but there’s a short line between them and Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions. And we must never forget Matrix Reloaded, lest we repeat the mistakes of the past.
Anyway, those comments came…
Full Story »Kristen Stewart has a big Grauman’s Chinese Theater Hollywood premiere this weekend and vampires are no factor. That didn’t stopping legions of teens to line Hollywood Blvd to catch a glimpse of Stewart (and who knows who else) who is starring along with Garrett Hedlund, Sam Riley, Kirsten Dunst, Amy Adams and Steve Buscemi in Walter Salles‘ stunning On the Road, screening as a Centerpiece Gala at AFI Fest where it is having its U.S. premiere.
In the film version of one of the most celebrated works of 20th Century American literature written by Jack Kerouac, Stewart plays the unconventional free-spirit Marylou, the former wife and still frequent lover of Dean Moriarty, a fast-talking charismatic with an insatiable libido. Dean and best friend Sal (Sam Riley), a young writer whose life is shaken after Dean’s arrival, take to the road. Marylou frequently accompanies Sal and Dean’s travels across the country in adventures fueled by sex, drugs and the pursuit of the “It” – a quest for understanding and personal fulfillment.
Stewart spoke with ML during the Toronto International Film Festival where the film had its North American premiere. She shared thoughts on her character’s “hard love,” how she grew herself being a part of the film and how this was the “biggest experience” she’s felt on a set.
So what was your road to On the Road?
I was 14 or 15 when I first met Walter Salles. I spoke to him when I was 17, I think I may have shot the first Twilight, I’m not sure – possibly I was about to go do it. At first I was talking about playing another part, so it’s…
South Park is either getting seriously meta, or bizarrely free-associative in its advanced age. The beginning of Wednesday night’s new episode of the Comedy Central series saw the relentlessly cheerful and naively optimistic character Butters Stotch become a pint-sized rageaholic that is initially attributed to his Hawaiian roots, but later turns out to be about the charmed life of Ben Affleck. 
After arriving on the island of Kaua’i to engage in a rite of passage that, presumably, will cure him of the furies, Butters inexplicably vents about Affleck, wondering how after the mediocrity of Daredevil, the actor/director “can hit a home run that everyone loves,” a reference to Affleck’s critically well-received Argo.
“You shouldn’t be able to be good looking, and be with Jennifer Lopez and be a good director,” Butters wails “Argo is a good movie! It holds up! Ben Affleck has everything, Braaaaa!” (Affleck and Lopez were featured in a famous 2003 South Park episode called “Fat Butt and Pancake Head.”
At one point, Butters summons up enough rage to sink a cruise ship with a golf ball. His battle cry: “Stupid Ben Affleck!”
The cure for his vexation: Jennifer Garner. Butters cools his jets when someone points out that Affleck is no longer with JLo and is now married to Garner.
“He’s just married to Jennifer Garner? Oh my gosh, I feel so much better!” Butters says, setting up one of the most creative insults I’ve heard on South Park. ”Ben Affleck has a lot going for him,” Butters says as he walks off into the Hawaiian sunset with Kenny. “Not everything, but a lot.”
Maybe I’m reading too much into this plot point, but I wonder if creators Trey Parker…
Full Story »Well, I don’t see any latex nipple protrusions, but our sister site Deadline makes an interesting point. After posting an exclusive ComingSoon.net shot of Joel Kinnaman in the new black RoboCop suit for Jose Padilha’s remake, Deadline noted that “The outfit does kinda have a Tim Burton’s Batman feel to it — a far cry from Peter Weller’s metallic get-up in the original. So, we’d like to put the question to you. Does the RoboCop 2.0 suit remind you too much of a certain Caped Crusader’s black get-up? Take the poll after the jump. RoboCop hits theaters on Aug. 9, 2013. So, the good news is, even if you don’t like it, you have time to get used to it. Oh yes, and one clarifying point about the nipples: as our commenter “Horrified” points out, those design details weren’t added until Joel Schumacher took the reins from Burton to direct Batman Forever and Batman & Robin.)Padilha’s update also stars Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley and Jennifer Ehle, Josh Zetumer and Nick Schenk wrote the re-boot script. Set in 2028, Kinnaman plays a Detroit cop seriously messed up in the line of duty. After the multinational, morally bankrupt Omnicorp saves his life and gives him super-human abilities — see suit, above — the newly christened RoboCop opens a can of whoop-ass on Detroit’s criminal element, and, if the new story follows the old, his very creators.
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At this point, it goes without saying that the Lochte family grew up next to a radiation test site (that explains the shade of Snooki on Megan Lochte’s skin), got their water from a well on a mercury mine and slept in tilted beds that made them roll off and hit their heads on the floor every night. Case in point: Here’s a video from 4 years ago of Ryan Lochte’s sister Megan Lochte using her mouth to shit out a bunch of racist nuggets of dumb. Shortly after Megan came back to the US after spending time in China during the Beijing Olympics, she went on a late night comedy talk show in Maryland and dropped these words of wisdom:
Megan on China: “China was chinked out. Like, it was totally, like Chinese. Everything. There was only chinks everywhere.”
Megan on how Chinese people take so many pictures: “You know how they always, stereotypically, they always want to take pictures? They take pictures of everything. Like I would be jumping up and down, and they’d be like, ‘Oh my god, an American jumping up and down.’ Chink chink! That’s where it comes from I think. Is that where it comes from?”
Megan on how Chinese people are the phenomenal drivers: “They drove like ninjas.”
Megan when asked if ninjas are Chinese or Japanese: “They’re whatever we want. They’re Asian.”
Megan on what she likes most about the Chinese culture: “They were funny.
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The Bobby Hill toy ID card that will get you booze anytime and at anyplace (in the UK anyway)!
I meant to write about this extremely important expose when I read about it at the esteemed literary journal The Daily Mail last week, but since I have the memory of a plastic toy ID card, I completely forgot about it until I was carded a couple of nights ago while buying beer from the deli. At that moment, I wish I had a Bobby Hill toy ID card to show the deli dude, because I hate showing my drivers license since in the picture I look like a middle-aged South American woman who got the Tootsie cut in the 80s and hasn’t ever changed it. That isn’t the point, though. The point is that if you’re underage and thirsty for the sweet nectar, don’t bother trying to buy a fake ID on the Internet or beg your older sister’s friend to give you her old one, because all you need to do is get yourself one of these Bobby Hill ID cards.
The Nottingham County Council in the UK sent a 17-year-old into 22 shops in Nottingham to buy booze using either no ID or an ID card with the face of Bobby from King of the Hill on it. More than half of the 22 shops never asked
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Full Story »Introducing Movieline’s ARRIVALS series, spotlighting breakthrough performers enjoying a bit of a “moment.” Today meet British actress Carmen Ejogo, whose scene-stealing performance in Sparkle kicks off a big year in film and TV.
As much as Sparkle is about well, Sparkle (Jordin Sparks), the shy young singer who learns to come into her own in this weekend’s R&B remake (not to mention Whitney Houston in what might have been her comeback), it’s Carmen Ejogo’s scene-stealing Sister — sultry, ambitious, and tragically doomed — who brings the film’s cautionary lessons crashing home. Ejogo’s offscreen story is even more intriguing: the MENSA member and one-time backing singer for Tricky (she does her own vocals in the film) got her start in the 1986 David Bowie musical Absolute Beginners and tried the leading lady route in her first crossover roles (Metro, What’s the Worst That Could Happen), before earning notice in Sally Hemings: An American Scandal, HBO’s Boycott, Lackawanna Blues, and last year’s Away We Go.
With Alex Cross and ABC’s Zero Hour on the horizon (“It’s kind of like Da Vinci Code meets Mulder and Scully in The X-Files,” she laughs), Ejogo, who lives in Brooklyn with husband Jeffrey Wright and their children, is poised for a breakthrough year stateside. She rang Movieline en route to the airport, still buzzing about the film’s crowd-pleasing premiere.
How did the Sparkle premiere go?
Carmen Ejogo: It was fantastic. I’m still sort of trying to absorb the comments that came afterwards about my performance. I’ve been a mom at home mostly for the past ten years, trying to raise a family, and so to come back with a role like this and then to have an evening like last night, where the movie was received really well and my…
And doesn’t it make sense? With the final installment of the mega franchise coming out, how could there not be a ton of cash? Notes the publication, “At this point, could anyone else play Bella Swan in Twilight?” Good point! The publication, which dishes out the super rich and famous wealth numbers annually said Stewart made an estimated $12.5 million plus a share of the profits from the mega-franchise in her last two stints on Twilight, but she also made more cash via Snow White and the Huntsman this past year.
According to Forbes Stewart’s total earnings between May 2011 and May 2012 totaled a whopping $34.5 million. Not bad for a 22 year-old. She is the youngest person on the list by 16 years. In the previous year, the actress ranked 5th in the list (tied with Julia Roberts). And coming in second on the list is Cameron Diaz who is estimated to have earned $34 million in the same time period. Her big cash cow came courtesy of Bad Teacher, which Forbes noted only cost $20 million to make but brought in $216 million worldwide.
Last year’s top earning actresses were Angelina Jolie and Sarah Jessica Parker who each cha-chinged $30 million between May 2010 and May 2011.
[Source: Forbes]
And what do you think of these numbers?
