Above is a still from On the Road of Kristen Stewart doing the “Who wants to lick these pits?” pose while going for a topless drive with Sam Riley and Garrett Hedlund. If you want to see the NSFW and de-RPattz’d version of this pic, click here. Maybe it’s just the picture, but is KStew’s left nipple throwing a side-eye? It looks like a bean rolling off of a plate. Even her nipple is telling her to kindly exit stage right.
So KStew talked to MTV News (via The New York Times of the UK) about working with On the Road’s director Walter Salles, and if Walter has a wife, his wife now knows what he’s really been doing when he tells her he’s taking a long walk on Pacific View Trail. Because KStew said this about working with Walter:
“You can do no wrong with [director Walter Salles]. He puts so much inside of you. In the four-week rehearsal process, it was okay to ask any question, to bring up any story, to really over-analyze everything and intellectualize everything. Once we got on set, it was so about just breathing and letting it happen. He put so much trust in us, so it was like, ‘Okay, so I have to take my clothes off?’ It’s so not a big [deal].”
Oh, I bet he put so much inside of you. But seriously, doesn’t Kristen Stewart know that you only have to bone the director while he’s casting the role you want. You don’t need to do it after you’ve already gotten the role! I swear.
Last year, Kate Hudson birthed out her second son and named him after a sports bar in the Boston area. (Okay, I don’t know if there’s a sport bar in the Boston area named Bingham Bellamy, but there should be.) Like all woman who have a hungry fetus inside of her for 9 months, her body got a few layers of chunk on it and she said she spent a quarter of her entire day working out to lose all the weight. Kate told Star Magazine (via Daily Mail) that right after her second kid was born, she spent more time doing Pilates than hanging out with him:
“I devoted six hours a day to a vigorous workout regime. I would do 45 or 55 minutes of cardio then an hour of Pilates or yoga, three times a day.”
I blame babies for being so greedy all the time. While they’re growing in a woman’s womb, they should go on a juice cleanse (LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE DO) so its mom won’t have to eat a bunch of food and get totally fat. Then when it comes out, instead of wailing for food all the time and crying for its mom to clean poop out of its butt, it should hold down
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Oh, it’s been much too long since we’ve all frozen our finger tips on the ice cold cuntiness that pours out of Kunty Karl’s ghoulish prune lips when he comes for a bitch. This newest ice pick of words from the Grand Dame Bitch of the House of the Death Eaters comes from The Sun and normally I look at anything that comes from The Sun with suspect eyes, but Kunty Karl would totally say this. It’s practically stamped with a platinum certified cunt seal. (FYI: The platinum certified cunt seal is a picture of Choupette Lagerfeld winking.) As Karl ran his fingers through the mop of cob webs on top of his head, he shat out this piece of pot kettle pricelessness about the Middleton sisters:
“Kate Middleton has a nice silhouette and she is the right girl for that boy. I like that kind of woman, I like romantic beauties. On the other hand, her sister struggles. I don’t like the sister’s face. She should only show her back.”
Kunty Karl slapped her down like that. Damn. That crypt keeper went IN on her. That’s like a poem by Yeats if Yeats was a straight-up, black-hearted harsh bitch who had his soul removed because it made him look fat. But I’m sure Karl will make it up to Pippa by sending
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Right after Mo’Nique tried to break Precious’ spirit by nearly hitting her on top of the head with a free falling TV, Joan Cusack tried to gently break Gabourey Sidibe’s Hollywood dreams by telling her the same shit Stephanie Yellowhair would tell me if I said I wanted to work the stroll: “You just don’t have the looks to work, bitch.” During a game of Plead the 5th on Watch What Happens Live last night, Andy Cohen asked Gaby what celebrity she was most disappointed by after meeting them (at the 1:14 mark in the video below) and this came out of her mouth:
“It’s not in a mean way because I know she meant well. I met Joan Cusack, who is my favorite, favorite, and she… I love her. It was before I became whatever and I was like at some industry party and she says, ‘Are you an actress?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ And she says, ‘Oh honey, you should really quit the business. It’s so image conscious.’ I think she really, really meant it in a good way… I think she really, really did, so no shade to her, but I was like, ‘Oh, but I love you, please don’t tell me to quit my job.’”
Joan is right. Hollywood usually only gets hard up for beauties, but if Joan’s ass is still getting work, then they
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Jon Hamm has taken a seat next to Daniel Craig on the anti-Kuntrashians side of the field by saying that he wet heaves up pieces of his stomach every time he thinks about how trash cans in Louboutins like Kim Kardashian get paid millions of dollars for acting the fool. Yes, it’s true that Don Draper would totally suck a scotch-soaked ice cube out of Kim’s ass, but Jon Hamm has no love for Pimp Mama Kris’ whore zoo animal show. Jon put it like this to Elle UK (via Daily Mail):
“Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly.”
I resent that comment out of Hamm’s hole. I’m a fucking idiot and I don’t have no major reward to show for it (case in point: I lost the Bloggie!). But seriously, the only thing better than Jon Hamm trash talking Kim Kardashian is Jon Hamm trash talking Kim Kardashian while doing ten naked jumping jacks in a row. Actually, Mad Men would probably beat the Kuntrashians in the ratings if it was a full hour of Jon Hamm trash talking Kim Kardashian while doing naked jumping jacks.
The good gay news today is that soon gays and gayelles will be able to have the rained out, flying fish wedding of their dreams at the Seattle Fish Market, because Washington is inches away from legalizing gay marriage finally. The other gay news that I’m not sure how to wrap the lobes of my brain around is that Cynthia Nixon told The New York Times that she made the choice to slurp on lady clit and fall in love with a woman.
“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay
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I’m just going to drop this off and keep on going….
When asked about her dating life by Ellen DeGeneres, Alley, 60, admitted she usually goes for “psychos” and “players,” so the host suggested she try going with the opposite of what she’s attracted to.
“I’m thinking ugly men might be the solution,” the Dancing with the Stars alum responded. “I’m talking about butt ugly. Because I go for really handsome men and I think butt ugly would be appreciative.”
via CNN
You know, I threw lumps of cold shit at that Rooney Mara (from that Girl with the Double Dragon Tattoo shit) trick when she hocked a crusty loogie of ungratefulness at Christopher Meloni’s nipples by saying that she doesn’t get why hos are obsessed with Law & Order: SVU, but I’m actually starting to like her. I mean, a self-righteous twat of a bitch who has no filter on her thoughts and doesn’t seem to care that she’s coming off as a crystal clear cunt? MY KIND! Rooney might have been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but she has knocked that silver spoon out with the verbal streams of bitchery that jump off of her tongue and hit her old employers right in their faces. Case in point: During an interview with Entertainment Weekly (via DS), Rooney squatted on the Nightmare on Elm Street remake she starred in and pushed this out:
“You kind of learn to self-sabotage with things you don’t want to get. Sometimes you don’t want to get something but you do a really good job and you get in anyway. That’s kind of [what happened] with A Nightmare on Elm Street – I didn’t even really want it. And then I went in [to audition] and I was like, [whispering] ‘Fuck. I definitely got that’.”
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Matt Damon campaigned hard for Obama during the last election, but don’t expect to see his ass at an Obama rally this time around, because all love is lost between the two. Matt tells Elle in so many words that he has broken up with Obama, and then he threw a whole lot of ice cold shade at our current president. Here’s today’s edition of “Movie Stars Talking Politics Talk!“:
“I’ve talked to a lot of people who worked for Obama at the grassroots level. One of them said to me, ‘Never again. I will never be fooled again by a politician…’
You know, a one-term president with some balls who actually got stuff done would have been, in the long run of the country, much better. If the Democrats think that they didn’t have a mandate—people are literally without any focus or leadership, just wandering out into the streets to yell right now because they are so pissed off. Imagine if they had a leader.”
Fooled by a politician? Who ever said that shit must be new here. It’s okay, I too just learned to not put your trust into some politicians. But I learned this while watching an episode of 90210 where Congresswoman Brandy betrayed Silver by leaking that video of Teddy’s gay wedding. Yes, I just admitted that I’m one of the only hos who still watch 90210. You can decide whether or not that’s more embarrassing than Matt’s Christmas vest.
This gold diamond beauty may have the face of a perfect glamorous angel whose air kisses taste like lip liner and money, but she has the heart of an ice-blooded evil monster. Patrizia Gucci was sentenced to 29 years in prison back in the 90s after she successfully ordered the hit of her ex-husband Maurizio Gucci, heir to the Gucci fortune, because she wanted more alimony. Patrizia is up for parole and when she went in front of the board at San Vittore jail in Milan, she said something that is the hottest and yet cuntiest thing I’ve heard today.
“No thanks as it would mean getting a job and I have never worked a day in my life. I would prefer to stay in my cell and water my plants and take care of my ferret.”
I don’t know whether to slap that crazy bitch or slap myself for loving her.
via Daily Mail
