Rick Santorum warned us this would happen if we let gays tie the knot. – Tyroan
Runners-up:
THE BREAK-A-LEG FAST CLUB. – Chris Knight
This is what happens when Rojo Caliente teaches Sex Ed.- Glen
“Riverdance” never recovered after Michael Flatley left the production. – BaconSlut
(Thanks, Ty)
Yes, and I know I need to bond with a Photoshop class. But in the meantime, a laugh is jumping out my throat over how Taylor Swift keeps trying to spread some country sin onto Tim Tebow’s pristine peen. Rick Santorum’s favorite new IT couple was born on Monday night when they went to dinner with a bunch of friends in Century City. They apparently went as friends, but a source tells UsWeekly that beard extraordinaire Taylor Swift wants Tim to Tebow right over her basket of curly golden love (that’s what she’s going to call it in the song she’s obviously going to write about his ass), but he’s not exactly into her. That scent that just trickled up your nostrils is the smell of a beard that just got BURNED. UsWeekly’s source said this about Taylor wishing she was the Mary Magdalene to Tim’s Jesus:
“Yes, she has a crush on him. She is a massive fan, but I don’t think he sees her that way. They actually have been speaking a lot about the Bible and Christianity. Right now it’s on the friendship tip – even though that frustrates her.”
Taylor Swift herself is more annoying than a Taylor Swift song, but all these rumors make me like her just a
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Full Story »Or some other lukewarm cling-monkey: “If I were feeling less generous and more cynical on this holiest of all Oscar-calendar mornings, I might say that to decipher this year’s Academy Awards contest, we need only look for inspiration to the GOP presidential race. The Artist is Mitt Romney — desperate to please, doesn’t stand for anything in particular, not especially popular with the general public, will eventually keep most of its money offshore, and, though dinged up and trash-talked, will probably cross the finish line first by default. The Descendants is Newt Gingrich (emotionally unsteady, hard on wives, doing better than expected, but probably can’t go all the way). Hugo is Rick Santorum (a little slow, doesn’t really like anything that changed in the culture in the last 80 years). And The Tree of Life is Jon Huntsman (believes in evolution, probably a little too classy for this field).” [Grantland]
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