Duchess Kate and Prince William’s tiny little vow exchange in that small church has been knocked down to the second most important royal wedding of this century now that Rojo Caliente and her ginger queen are married! Even though I haven’t even seen one picture from the ceremony and they could’ve gotten married in the break room of a Subaru dealership for all I know, I can still say this it was the most beautiful and greatest wedding of all-time! I was going to pour a little ginger beer in my morning coffee anyway, but now I have a real reason to do so. Cynthia Nixon’s rep tells People that after being engaged for 3 years, she can now say the words millions of people wish they could say, Rojo Caliente is her lawfully wedded wife!
“On May 27, 2012, Cynthia Nixon and her girlfriend, Christine Marinoni, were legally married in the state of New York. Nixon wore a custom dress by Carolina Herrera.”
Cynthia’s rep says “On May 27, 2012 Cynthia Nixon and her girlfriend, Rojo Caliente, were legally married” but I say, “On May 27, 2012 the sanctity of marriage got a ginger breath of life!!!!!!”
This is the reason why the sun shines on all of us in NYC today. Not because there’s no clouds or anything. But because the humanized form of one its rays, Rojo Caliente, married the woman she loves. Congingerlations to our new reigning ginger gayelle queens and my favorite couple next to vodka and soda. This news calls for a soundtrack!
Since J. Harvey is a certified drunk mess, I felt it was only fitting to announce his triumphant return with these pictures of Our Patron Saint of Patron, Kate Moss, trying to figure out how “this walking thing” works while leaving a Mexican restaurant in London with her husband Count Von Count last night. But before I get into Drunk Ass Kate being Drunk Ass Kate….
One of the more reliable voices in my head tells me that the sanctity of marriage will receive a flaming breath of life this weekend when the most gorgeous ginger lesbian on every planet Rojo Caliente marries Cynthia Nixon. So because of this, I’m going to spend my entire Memorial Day Weekend throwing confetti made of double pleated Dockers in the streets to celebrate the greatest ROYAL GINGER LESBIAN WEDDING OF OUR TIME! No, I won’t be doing that, but I did hear that a Rojo Caliente wedding might be upon us soon, so gird your souls! My mom is in town, so my sister and I will be spending our Memorial Day Weekend fighting with each other in various restaurants around the city. While I do that, J. Harvey will be spreading the foolery on Dlisted starting today through Monday. I’ll still be posting sporadically (file that under: smart words I learned while watching Clueless) throughout the weekend, so you haven’t completely gotten rid of me. I’ll be back full-time
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The soon-to-be Mrs. Rojo Caliente, Cynthia Nixon, caused a shit storm yesterday when she said that she chose to be a lesbian and that in her personal opinion she believes that for some hos it is a choice. Some gay activists lit her asshole up for giving ammo to homophobes and some homophobes gladly used that ammo by leaving comments on other sites like, “One of dem admitted it’s a choice! See!” I just wanted Rojo to take me in her teddy bear arms and hold me until bitches stopped screaming at each other.
Well, in another interview, Cynthia gets into her sexuality more. Cynthia says that when she was with a dude, she loved that dude with her heart and loved his peen with her poon. Now that she’s with the most beautiful lesbian in the world, she loves that woman with her heart, and loves that woman’s poon with her poon. But Cynthia doesn’t consider herself bisexual, because nobody likes bisexuals. This is a piece of her conversation with The Daily Beast’s Kevin Sessums:
KS: Were you a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship? Or are you now a heterosexual in a lesbian relationship? That quote seemed like you were fudging a bit.
CN: It’s so not fudging. It’s so not. I think for gay people who feel 100 percent gay, it doesn’t make any sense. And for straight people who
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Words will cheapen this beyond beautiful public moment between Rojo Caliente, her queen Cynthia Nixon and the adorable new Rojo Prince of Gingers Max Ellington Nixon-Marinoni (aka Prince MEN), so I will leave you to print this out in the finest velvet, frame it in gilded gold and place it at an altar surrounded by cinnamon candles. This is my new religion (sorry, Church of Lucite). Who needs a fireplace (or even a radiator that works) when you’ve got this?
But I will say just one thing…. Why the hell are they posing in front of that cheap ass business park curtain?! They should be in front of a royal blue velvet curtain trimmed with solid gold! Oh, what am I saying? Rojo is forever humble. And we pray….
(Thanks to everyone who sent this in)
For a while there, Jared Leto was in an all-out war against his own natural hotness. Jared’s battle wounds of victory included his “Gay Raver Cockatoo on the Wrong E” look and his “If Susan Powter Mated with a Porcupine with a SamRo Obsession” look. But pull down your panties and Saran Wrap your monitor, because Jared has dropped his peroxide gun and raised a white flag in the form of this picture he Tweeted yesterday. VICTORY IS OURS! That ab gutter needs filling (I’ll leave it at that) and when his peen takes a break you can hump on one of those arm veins.
And Jared gets extra points for wearing a skirt that looks exactly like what the sluttier girls in my high school P.E. class turned their gym sweats into.
via JL.com (Thanks Kiley)
You can skip your usual end of the day ritual of freebasing coffee grounds, because the ginge wonder ROJO CALIENTE is here to take you up up up and away!!!!!!! – I’m Not Obsessed
I sort of love how Jessica Simpson’s rent-to-own piece just trails behind her – Lainey Gossip
It’s endearing and awwww-ey when roasted turtles with Muscle Milk for brains think so highly of themselves – The Superficial
Posh Beckham looking like an alien mannequin in Marie Claire (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
The Pan Malaysian Islamic Party just won’t let Glamberace be great…and gay – Towleroad
Meanwhile, the other M. Carey looks like she’s carrying a litter in her chest area – Hollywood Tuna
Katie Price has some new competition for literary genius of this generation – Popoholic
The popular girls table is now throwing shade at Kelly Osbourne - Celebitchy
Vintage Caca – OMG Blog
And then when I woke up, my hands were covered in chocolate dust, two boxes of Oreos were empty and my dog was whimpering in the corner…. – TDW
To the shock and dismay of millions Jodie Marsh was not voted the #2 most influential woman in the UK – Popsugar
This is the kind of dipshitness I’d probably pull on accident – The Berry
Liu Wei is victorious, wins China’s Got Talent - Just Jared
In a perfect world indeed- Cityrag
Soookeh in stripes – Hollywood Rag
Big Foot fappin’ material - ICYDK
STUNNING. RAVISHING. PERFECTION. BEAUTY OF OUR TIME. ETC. – Moe Jackson
Ditto for this one – Popbytes
And this one – Holy Moly!
(Image via INFDaily.com)
So now we know what Lindsay Lohan was really doing in jail. She was writing songs for the Queen of the Lesbians (Rojo Caliente will let that one pass for now). By clicking play, you are acknowledging that the lyric “girls come and see my vagina” will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
FYI: Homegirl here made up this song in response to this.
Source: Buzzfeed via The Frisky (Thanks Joan…I think)
