On Oprah’s Next Chapter last night, the Houston family matriarch pimped out her book on all things Whitney Houston and Oprah asked for her thoughts on a few rumors about her late daughter. Oprah brought up a part in Cissy’s book where she talks about Whitney’s relationship with best friend Robyn Crawford. Whitney was the Oprah to Robyn’s Gayle King and there were rumors that the two bumped ‘ginas under the moonlight and were in love for many years. Cissy writes that she knew about the speculation that Whitney and Robyn were gayelle lovers and when The Mighty O asked her if she believed the rumors, she said this:
“I don’t really know. I thought, I didn’t particularly like her. She just spoke too disrespectful sometimes, like she had something over Nippy. I didn’t like that at all. She was alright. She turned out to be alright, I guess. That was her friend.”
Cissy told Nippy that she didn’t like Robyn and didn’t want her hanging around Robyn, but Nippy did anyway. Cissy knew that Nippy’s heart wrapped around Robyn’s heart, but she didn’t know for sure if her mouth ever wrapped around Robyn’s love box. Oprah asked Cissy if it would’ve bothered her if Nippy was a lesbian and she didn’t flinch when she said, “Absolutely.” Oprah seemed surprised and asked the question again using different words. Cissy once again said that she wouldn’t have liked
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While most singers try to sing from their diaphragm, Mimi goes way deep and sings from her coochie. Now, that is how it’s done! During the closing concert at the Ischgl ski resort in Austria yesterday, Mimi prepared to let out a 32 octave butterfly yodel by breathing in so hard that her Spandex ski pants practically polished her damn cervix. Mimi’s poon will be spitting out Spandex for days! I refuse to call it a camel toe, because Mimi doesn’t do camels, darlings. It’s more like a lamb toe. Hell, it’s the whole damn lamb’s foot! It also looks like a unicorn putting its hooves together to pray, and two butterfly cocoons hanging next to each other, and Homer Simpson with red lipstick on, and a fortune cookie molded from Play-Doh. Basically, Mimi’s cooze flaps look like everything. Who knew that Mimi has the Rorschach test of pussy lips?
Even though Mimi’s got an entire stampede up in her pants and her coochie could be a star in the world of competitive pants-eating, CoCo is still the Queen of Camel Toes. I mean, who would you put money on in a camel toe wrestling match? Exactly.
The soon-to-be Mrs. Rojo Caliente, Cynthia Nixon, caused a shit storm yesterday when she said that she chose to be a lesbian and that in her personal opinion she believes that for some hos it is a choice. Some gay activists lit her asshole up for giving ammo to homophobes and some homophobes gladly used that ammo by leaving comments on other sites like, “One of dem admitted it’s a choice! See!” I just wanted Rojo to take me in her teddy bear arms and hold me until bitches stopped screaming at each other.
Well, in another interview, Cynthia gets into her sexuality more. Cynthia says that when she was with a dude, she loved that dude with her heart and loved his peen with her poon. Now that she’s with the most beautiful lesbian in the world, she loves that woman with her heart, and loves that woman’s poon with her poon. But Cynthia doesn’t consider herself bisexual, because nobody likes bisexuals. This is a piece of her conversation with The Daily Beast’s Kevin Sessums:
KS: Were you a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship? Or are you now a heterosexual in a lesbian relationship? That quote seemed like you were fudging a bit.
CN: It’s so not fudging. It’s so not. I think for gay people who feel 100 percent gay, it doesn’t make any sense. And for straight people who
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….as do the vomitous bubbles that form on your eyeballs when you see these two together. Kat Von D and Vanilla Gorilla celebrated her 29th birthday yesterday by partaking in a good old-fashioned photo-op on the roof of a parking garage in Santa Monica, CA. Kat told the paps that she wanted a picture to remember her special day. Kat, who wore Shaggy’s favorite vacation outfit, also wanted to give the tabloids a precious cover picture to tear in two with Photoshop when Vanilla Gorilla’s swastidick gets caught in another trick’s poon. Kat is considerate like that.
And VG is always heiling Hitler with his entire body. Like he’s as stiff as a rigamortized dick. I bet that VG killed the “stiff as a board” part during the “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board” game.
