Wednesday, November 2nd 2011

Open Post: Hosted By A Dude Showing The Lohans How It's Done

Lindsay Lohan is about to sashay into court today to receive her punishment for violating her probation for the 486,123,098th time and I felt that this video of a record holder stuffing his gaping nostril holes with a bunch of quarters would be very educational for her. TMZ seems to think that Blohan will get anywhere from two weeks (what the delusions in her head tell her she should get) to a few months in jail, but she'll only serve a sliver of that due to overcrowding. Even if she sits in a cell for 2 seconds, she'll still be without her essentials! If there's anything years of snorting Lohan powder has given her, it's two humongous cave nostrils the size of the hole in White Oprah's brain. While a team of search dogs will be sent into her chocha to check for cuntraband, those mutts will never check her nostrils. A tube of fake tan shit, an open bar, a dime bag of sea jasper, a syringe full of whatever she injects into her lips and even a member of the paparazzi can all fit up her nose. Use what the bad shit gave you.

And I really hope Judge Stephanie is in her chambers right now, rehearsing priceless one liner after priceless one liner. Slay that crackie, Judge Stephanie, slay her!

Click here for the live feed.