Minutes after Selena Gomez electrocuted Justin Bieber with shock therapy nipple clamps (that’s the only explanation for that hair), somebody (his publicist) took a picture of them getting gross and threw it up on Instagram. The Biebs added the note:
“You’ve been makin music for too long babe come cuddle” -her
HA. Makin’ music? I don’t see a Fisher-Price keyboard and a Playskool Rocktivity music table. You know he’s either Skyping with Usher or playing a Bob the Builder game.
Of course, this STUNT QUEEN picture has made a million Beliebers stand on the rails of their cribs and threaten to jump. Here’s just a few of the most priceless responses:
Help in having a panic attack maybe I should get my priorities straight this picture makes me sad
Selena your a fucking ugly whore and we all fucking hate you and your an asshole and hurt justin so bad and you were a sarcastic bitch I don’t ducking know why you would take her back justin that was a stupid choice.
I thought u loved me but know i see u don’t .i thought u were not gonna be back with her after all the bad things she said about you but I was wrong I don’t want to be a #belieber anymore . And when u break up with
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jeal·ous·y – an emotion I feel toward that plastic baby doll – Lainey Gossip
My ear drums haven’t yet recovered from being beaten up by Russell Crowe’s singing voice and now Hollywood is going to make sure that my ear drums stay bruised, because they want Channing Tatum to sing in the Guys & Dolls remake - The Berry
Marvel is so wrong for putting Quicksilver in an Avengers movie after Andy Rooney’s death, because he was the only one with brows glorious enough to play that role – The Superficial
What Michelle Rodriguez is trying to say is that she likes a butch chick who knows how to operate a strap-on – Celebitchy
RuPaul gets in bed with Joan Rivers – Towleroad
This isn’t a promo video for H&M. It’s private home videos of Beyonce having a regular day at the beach – Drunken Stepfather
The look IS Kate Hudson looking like a mob mistress/used car dealership secretary – Hollywood Tuna
Selena Gomez’s doing the bindi thing again… – Popoholic
I didn’t know Claire’s sold yellow glass rings – Reality Tea
Mischa Barton actually looks good in a “prairie time maid” sort of way – ICYDK
Ireland Baldwin is as good at dancing as Alec Baldwin is at not being
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If Mushu from Mulan shoved two stress balls in his cheeks, dipped himself in melted wax,taped two rubber tarantulas onto his eyelids, glued white Chiclets over his teeth, squeezed himself into a clearance rack gown from Windsor Fashions and put on a polyester wig that weighs more than him, he’d look exactly like Snooki at last night’s MTV Movie Awards.
Snooki says that she lost a whole lot of chunk, but it looks more like all of her body fat went straight up to her head and weave. Bitch looks like a bobblehead doll of Miss Midget South America 1989 (please tell me such a pageant exists). Ho is giving us some “Oompa Loompa in Kardashian drag” glamour.
And here’s a few other tricks and tramps from last night’s show. In order: Snooki, a rubber Thundercats action figure in a dress, Eddie Redmayne, the last place loser in a Steve Nicks look-alike contest sponsored by Hot Topic, Macklemore with Ryan Lewis, RUUUUU!, Selena Gomez (wearing one of Charo’s old costumes), Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Kerry Washington and a bloated and constipated alien.
I hope you have a Baby Wipe or wet nap near you, because Marilyn Manson definitely left a lip stick (shade: pre-period surprise) stain on your monitor. Wearing less paint on his face than your average Kardashian, Marilyn Manson pulled himself out of his Hot Topic-brand bedroom coffin to pose at the Hollywood premiere of Spring Breakers last night. Because of that white flour on his face and that dark red lipstick, Marilyn looks like an uncooked, deconstructed black cherry pie that dried out from sitting on the counter so long.
Marilyn brought his latest piece Lindsay Usich who sort of looks like a Taylor Armstrong wax figure that was put together using parts from a Lana Del Rey wax figure and a Molly Ringwald wax figure. Obviously, Marilyn and his piece were the hottest couple there even though Ashley Benson and James Franco tried to claim that title with their STUNT QUEEN whispering on the red carpet. I don’t know if Selena Gomez is smirking, because she can’t with that public display or stuntin’ or because she remembered that she once dated Justin Bieber.
Here’s a few more pictures from last night’s premiere of the movie version of a cum-stained Body Glove tank top. In order: MM with his piece, the cast, James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens with the ATL Twins and Ashley Benson.
“Oops! … I Did It Again” isn’t one of two Britney Spears hits performed onscreen in Spring Breakers, but that song’s self-aware spirit of coy misbehavior is stamped all over Harmony Korine’s most mainstream provocation to date. Following four college girls’ descent from Florida spring-break debauchery to the even more vertiginous lows of thug life, this attractively fizzy pic may be a shock to the system for fans of teen queens Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens, but remains pretty toothless titillation by its writer-helmer’s standards. Unfamiliar multiplex exposure awaits the aging enfant terrible, though the youthful target audience may seek it out on newer media.
Arriving three years after Trash Humpers, Spring Breakers couldn’t come as a more candy-colored contrast: The clearance costs alone for its soundtrack, jammed as it is with current Top 40 artists like Nicki Minaj, Ellie Goulding and the Black Keys, must dwarf his last film’s entire shooting budget.
If the film is a sellout, however, it’s a calculatedly ironic one. From its dayglo opening montage depicting the sights and sounds of a typical spring break — a relatively modern rite of passage that finds college students congregating in coastal towns for reckless drinking and indiscriminate sex — Korine is plainly aping the aesthetic of such vapid MTV exploitation shows as Jersey Shore. Less clear is whether he’s effectively satirizing them or merely complicit in the glossy meretriciousness of the culture they represent.
It’s a line this frequently amusing film never negotiates with complete success, though Korine might believe this ambiguity is itself indicative of the generation under scrutiny. Just about every charge of social negligence leveled at Spring Breakers can be countered with an arch claim of intent, which…
Full Story »Harmony Korine is passionate about making films his way. “I just want to be the greatest of all time — the greatest that ever did it,” said Spring Breakers director, who described his latest work as “beach noir.”
I sat down with Korine at Movieline’s New York office for an in-depth discussion about Spring Breakers in-depth. Korine talked about how society is still shocked by violent female criminals, his liberal use of nudity in the movie, and the way he likes to work with his actors. “Once (they’re) in character, and understand the story and the world, it all becomes perfect,” he said. “There’s nothing they can do wrong.”
Spring Breakers features current Disney star James Franco and former Disney stars Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez in a story about a trip to Florida that takes a dark turn. The film has striking visuals and I asked Korine if that quality is what makes his films so high-concept. ”Yeah, I think they’re completely high-concept. I think they’re also like the lowest concept,” he said. “It’s like where retardation and transcendence intersect.”
Check out my full interview below:
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No, this isn’t a still from Disney Junior’s upcoming adaptation of Boys Don’t Cry. This is a picture from Justin Bieber’s fan site (via ONTD) of him grabbing a Belieber boob at a meet-and-greet (more like a meet-and-grope) after his show in Miami. Too many questions! Not enough answers!
Did she ask him to hand hug her titty, because she thought that maybe his balls would finally drop if he went to second base? Is this a side hug gone terribly, terribly wrong? Why is she making a face like her soul is trying escape through her mouth and she won’t let it? Why didn’t anybody call 911? Why does this picture make Justin Beiber look like a child-touching child? When you go to a Canadian hospital and you ask for a mammogram, is this what happens? How does she make her bangs look like Marv Albert’s toupee? Is this her Selena Gomez cosplay look?
But the most important and relevant question of all is, why am I still typing words about this picture when I should be pouring boiling water from an electric tea kettle into my eyes instead?
And while I do that, here’s a topless Bieber in Miami yesterday. I’m not helping, I know.
What former A list reality star was at Sundance offering herself up for interviews with any media outlet that would take her? There were no takers. None. Publicists were begging, but no one wanted anything to do with the former hated reality star. (CDAN)
See above picture taken at Sundance. And yes, I pulled this picture out of the bargain bin on the photo agency’s website.
The paparazzi are in constant pursuit of this star, capturing her every move in L.A.
So can you imagine their surprise when she recently opened the door and a strong scent wafted out, one of the illegal kind.
Two things that make this story interesting;
1) She was driving her then-boyfriend’s car… but he wasn’t in it, so he cannot be blamed for the fresh smell of pot.
2) Keen observers picked up on her somewhat wobbly appearance at a Golden Globe Awards after-party, suggesting that she had too much to drink. Now, in retrospect, her secret habit may explain things better. (Celebzter via Blind Gossip)
Selena Gomez? Two things:
1. ILLEGAL?! The good shit is legal in CA if used for “medicinal purposes” and any trick who dates Justin Bieber automatically gets a prescription. Because you need some strong stuff to deal with the anxiety and shame of dating Justin Bieber.
2. The second point
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