Ok Head out, Shoulder out, now where is the part that tells me how long its gonna take this fucking reptile to push out the rest of me? – crankenstein
Runners-up:
You know, just Jon Hamm, sitting around, catching up on his reading. – Spkheller
I’d rather lay in a bedful of snakes than read “Fifty Shades of Grey” – Eileenie McMeanie
When Neil said he was getting into bed with snakes, everyone just assumed he meant his joint home fragrance venture with the Kardashians. – jellin76
via Metro
Things had been quiet on the Fifty Shades of Grey movie front of late, as the hotly anticipated erotic fiction bestseller teased its way through development — that is, until screenwriter Kelly Marcel (Terra Nova, Saving Mr. Banks) spilled a tantalizing tidbit to The Sunday Times: “There is going to be a lot of sex in the film,” she said. “It will be rated NC-17.”
NC-17!? Be still, our BDSM-loving hearts! EL James’s steamy erotic lit juggernaut, about demure college grad Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, the emotionally tortured millionaire she enters into a kinky relationship with, has its fair share of sexy clinches. If you’ve read the series — or the Twilight fan fiction it started out as — you know it’s pretty much a series of sexcapades tempered by interludes of soap operatic dramarama. (For a borderline NSFW idea of what happens in the first book, check out this fantastic fan-made animated trailer. Splash!)
A Fifty Shades movie without the deliciously racy sex would hardly be a Fifty Shades movie at all (seriously, we still have Skinemax to serve our softcore needs) but once Focus Features and Universal snapped up the property a proper envelope-pushing rating seemed out of reach. How can studio heads sell an erotic film franchise to the masses that nails Ana and Christian’s heated psychosexual bond onscreen as vividly as it does on the page?
Common sense says be prepared for a gentler, more suggestive-rather-than-graphic Fifty Shades movie. And yet, Marcel (who “pored over” the book with James for ten days) insists that they’re going all the way to NC-17 Town on the film:
“[There] is going to be a lot of sex in the film,” she says breezily. “It will be rated NC-17 [18 here].
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Full Story »Last night, television’s probing procedural Law & Order: SVU ripped inspiration from the headlines — or rather, the bestseller list — with a case involving the assault of the author of a Fifty Shades of Grey-style novel. (Starring My Girl’s Anna Chlumsky!) But what’s the takeaway here? What’s L&O:SVU really trying to say to E.L. James?
Chlumsky guest-starred as Jocelyn Paley, a successful writer whose bondage-fantasy lit phenomenon, 25 Acts, has burned its way up the charts. “Her book makes Fifty Shades look like a Disney story,” explains talk show host Adam Cain (Roger Bart), who then takes fantasies straight from Paley’s book over the rape-y line. As they do each week, the L&O:SVU crew then sets out to seek justice.
But there’s a twist! (Uh, spoilers.) Paley’s not the real author of the kinky Fifty Shades stand-in, but has instead claimed credit and made a fortune off of someone else’s writing. Plagiarism: Another shade of grey! (Ok, not really.)
In real life, James has tread both moral grounds. As Fifty Shades blazed a kinky trail through the suburbs and lady lit world, critics claimed its depictions of the BDSM community are off-base and promote regressive gender politics. Is protagonist Ana Steele an agent of her own sexual awakening or a pathetic young woman submitting herself to the irresistibly damaged Christian Grey?
The twisty question of authorship put on blast by L&O:SVU also has roots in James’ phenomenal success. First penned and shared online (for free!) as Twilight fan fiction — minus the supernatural stuff, but with all of the emotional desperation — Fifty Shades of Grey became a commercial property when James stopped going by her message-board friendly AKA Icy Snowdragon, re-named her characters to avoid copyright infringement, and turned her lusty…
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They’re both behemoth British authors, but that does not necessarily translate into desire to pick up the other’s books for a read. On the eve of J.K. Rowling’s first post-Harry Potter series roll-out The Casual Vacancy, the mega-selling author of the fantasy series, which spawned a mega-multiple movie franchise said she hasn’t read fellow author E.L. James’ 50 Shades of Grey and probably won’t.
The paperback version of 50 Shades managed to surpass the Harry Potter series as the fastest seller of all-time, though naturally the two literary blockbusters target different audiences. Rowling certainly hasn’t done bad with Potter, with an estimated net worth of $1 billion.
“I haven’t [read 50 Shades of Grey], have you?” Rowling told an interviewer from The Guardian, adding, “Well, if I’m truthful, it’s because I promised by editor I wouldn’t.”
She quickly added that she was joking, but her editor did say, “Well, don’t read it,” she said.
Asked further if she thought she was “missing out” on something, Rowling said, “Not wildly, no,” but added, “It could be amazing, but no I haven’t read it.”
Rowling’s latest, however, moves into the adult-themed world that E.L. James’ wildly popular books have dominated of late. The Casual Vacancy reportedly takes on prostitution, drug use and class, according to The Guardian. “The worst that can happen is that everyone says, ‘That’s shockingly bad,’ she said about the pending novel.
The Casual Vacancy will be available beginning September 27th.
And as has been the focus of attention throughout the recent Summer, 50 Shades of Grey, of course, will now be heading to the big screen and speculation has been a constant over who will play the two leads. The debate and media attention may bode well for the forthcoming film version, though…
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How does a media-savvy screenwriter promote his modest Kickstarter.com-financed film when the media is fixated on tentpole pictures?
What if he connected one of his project’s actors — who happens to be a porn star — to the seriously sexy and much buzzed-about film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey?
That’s what I suspect novelist and screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis is doing with The Canyons, the L.A. noir thriller he wrote.
The Canyons, which Paul Schrader is directing, stars Lindsay Lohan and James Deen, a 26-year-old porn actor and director, who, like Sasha Grey, appears to be looking for more traditional acting work.
On Sunday, Ellis tweeted from his official account: ”Just got inside information that James Deen is actually in the running to play Christian in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘ with EL James support,” tweeted Ellis. He later added: “Movie will DEFINITELY be written by a woman and the budget will be below 15m. Ana will be played by an unknown.”
I’m a fan of Ellis’ fiction and film work. I even liked The Informers more than most. As a longtime media observer, I also can’t help but admire the way he has hitched himself to the Fifty Shades roller coaster by lobbying to be considered as the screenwriter of the film adaptation and holding forth on why Matt Bomer shouldn’t play Christian Grey.
Through some pretty savvy social-media self-promotion, Ellis has become a kind of soi disant Fifty Shades expert, and now that he’s been passed over as a potential screenwriter for the project, my gut tells me the fiction writer is shining on fans of James’ books to build awareness for a film he actually did write: The Canyons.
I sent a message…
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Twilight fanfic writer turned New York Times best-selling author E.L. James is orgasming with her entire body weekly and it’s not from reading her own book, that’s for fucking sure. It’s from reading her bank statement. As each week goes by, E.L. becomes a million dollars richer and she owes it all such beautiful poetry like this:
“Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?” Holy shit. Did I just say that? His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly. “No, Anastasia it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love. I fuck… hard. Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.” My mouth drops open. Fuck hard! Holy shit, that sounds so… hot. But why are we looking at a playroom? I am mystified. “You want to play on your Xbox?” I ask. He laughs, loudly. “No, Anastasia, no Xbox, no Playstation. Come.”
And:
“Christian, you had me at the meadow.”
Celebrity Net Worth (via EW) says that thanks to those exquisite words and millions of horny housewives not knowing about something called free online porn have helped E.L. sell over 20 million copies worldwide.
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