For the one of you who didn’t immediately hit the I QUIT THIS BITCH button after reading that headline, you’re as sucio as me and we’ll be disgusting together. I seriously can’t avert my eyes from the dead-eyed, slow-moving train of crazy as it crashes into a pile of dirty diapers and sadness. I even watched a few uncensored clips from OctoMom’s self-love porn and the most offensive thing is that one of the sets looks like a P.F. Chang’s. How will I ever enjoy a serving of Mongolian beef the same way ever again?
To promote her debut fap porn, Octo and her jack-off guide Jessica Drake went on Howard Stern yesterday. Octo pulled Howard’s dick when she said that achieving her first chocha seizure on camera opened her up to a whole new world and she can’t wait to explore more of her sexuality. Basically, Octo used a lot of words to say, “A CHECK IS A CHECK!” So because Octo can’t get enough of rubbing love into herself, Howard brought out the Sybian and she jumped on. This clip is totally NSFW unless your boss is okay with you screaming for mercy.
And I don’t know what terrorized my ears more today: Octo’s fake orgasm yodels or the new Carly Rae Jepsen song. Definitely, the latter.
You know that scene in Benjamin Button where Brad Pitt flexes his old man baby muscles in front of a mirror? The picture above is what it would look like if a brown headed, methed out Dennis the Menace tried to distract his dealer from seeing the stolen 8-ball stuffed in his chonies by reenacting that scene. I mean, can one have toddler meth hair, because that’s exactly what Charlie Sheen has. (I’m choosing to ignore the coke-eyed warlock cock in his pants. It’s always too early for that).
After 4,000 mad bitches (Who only have themselves to blame!!) ran the warlock and his goddesses out of Detroit, Charlie Sheen retooled (emphasis on tool) his Violent Torpedo of Truth show for Chicago last night. Charlie dropped his opening act, axed Simon Rex’s rap and instead gave the audience 90-minutes of a Q&A with some interviewer which ended in Charlie taking off his shirt and reading a poem. The Hollywood Reporter says that only 5% of the audience walked out and not one BOO was heard. It sounds to me like the Chicago audience knew they were about to be hit by a slow moving train driven by a brain damaged warlock, so they did they the smart thing by numbing themselves with enough mind-altering substances to put out a Lohan. If you’re going to suffer, you
…
Full Story »
