“When Tracy won Best Actor for his turn in Captains Courageous in 1938, he was unable to attend the ceremony. MGM said he was recovering from a hernia, which was the 1940s way of saying ‘hospitalized for exhaustion,’ if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. The studio arranged for Tracy’s wife to accept the award in his stead, as a gesture towards the supposed strength of their marriage. With all the audience fully aware of how Tracy had neglected and mistreated her, Mrs. Tracy walked the stage. But the Academy had a sense of humor: the award was inscribed not to Spencer, but to Dick Tracy. ROUGH. MGM would periodically force Tracy to ‘dry out’ after massive benders — not out of kindness, but so that they could force him to do his next film. During this period, he was living at the Beverly Wilshire and constantly on the prowl — one MGM exec purportedly claimed that ‘No one gets more sex than Spencer Tracy…..except Joan Crawford.’” [The Hairpin]
Spencer Susser’s intense indie drama Hesher features a fair amount of extreme angst — embodied by the charismatic Joseph Gordon-Levitt, tattooed and grimy like you’ve never seen him before — but plenty of fun was had behind the scenes, if Movieline’s exclusive outtake reel is any indication. After the jump, watch a sweetly dorky Natalie Portman goof of between scenes with her young co-star Devin Brochu in a special feature from the forthcoming DVD/Blu-ray release.
A is for “Awesome!” And “Aardvark!” Ah, fun with clappers.
The synopsis for SXSW entry and Sundance Grand Jury Prize nominated film:
Loud music. Pornography. Burning s*%t to the ground. These are a few of Hesher’s favorite things. And they are what Hesher (Gordon-Levitt) brings into the lives of TJ (Brochu) and his father Paul (Wilson) when he takes up residence in the garage uninvited. Grief stricken by the loss of TJ’s mother in a car accident, Paul can’t muster the strength to evict the strange squatter and soon the long-haired, tattooed Hesher becomes a fixture in the household. Like a force of nature, Hesher’s anarchy shakes the family out of their grief and helps them embrace life once more.
Hesher hits DVD and Blu-ray on September 13, featuring deleted scenes, a sketch gallery, outtakes, and more.
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And I’m not talking about the tit that is Spencer Pratt!!! (The gong is the shop, so you’ll have to use a trash can lid instead.) Heidi Montag’s nipples are crying a river of silicone tears to Life & Style, because she says that when she sleeps against a wall at night, she dreams of a life without two giant rollerballs stuffed into her chest.
Heidi is down in Costa Rica to replace her size G (is for goddamnyoureadumbfuck) implants with DDs. Heidi’s assistant took a hot blow dryer to her face to loosen it up a bit so she could open up her mouth and say, “I’m desperate to go back to normal. I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D. I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way. I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life. I feel trapped in my own body.“
Heidi’s brain turned to dust as soon as she licked on Spencer Pratt’s hairy ass crack, so you can’t say that she should’ve thought about this before she Real Doll-ized herself. But seriously, you would think it would be relatively easy for Heidi to downgrade her chest area. She should just get Spencer to release a little air from the push-pull valve on her ass. That should do the trick right.
Somewhere in the world, the reigning fake titty queen Sheyla Hershey just said this to Heidi’s cover: “Light (*oxygen mask over face, oxygen mask off face*) weight (*passes out*)”
You know that tape of a factory defected Real Doll humping on a pile of hairy caca? Well, Spencer Pratt has pulled the pricing gun out of his culo and stamped that tape with a bright orange sticker that reads: $5 MILLION. This is what Spencer told TMZ anyways.
Steve Hirsch of Vivid, who is negotiating with Spencer for the tape, doesn’t seem to think this amount is totally and utterly fucked up. Right now in a control room up in heaven God has just opened up the clear box covering up thee red button. His finger is hovering above it as Bea Arthur, his second in command, shouts, “Just push beadammit!“
Spencer also tells TMZ that he has enough footage to fill an entire website, “I will knock Club Jenna out of the water. When I realized how much Kim [Kardashian] was making, my logic is this is the best thing I can do for my ex-wife. Kim is on the cover of Allure right now. Heidi isn’t on the cover of Allure.”
To reiterate, Vivid might pay $5 million for a Twit and Twat sex tape! A sex tape! $5 million for a snuff film I can sort of see, but not a regular sex tape!
But in all seriousness, this couldn’t be more of a scam even if Spencer said the tape also starred an exiled Nigerian prince, a free Rolex watch, a sexy Russian bride and a box of 93% 0ff Pfizer.
Jackée Harry (54)
Mila Kunis (27)
Spencer Twatt (27)
Ana Matronic (36)
Christopher Gorham (36)
Jay Manuel (38)
Jennifer Flavin (42)
Catherine Bell (42)
Adrian Lester (42)
Halle Berry (44)
Susan Olsen (49)
Sarah Brightman (50)
Marcia Gay Harden (51)
Magic Johnson (51)
James Horner (57)
Carl Lumbly (59)
Danielle Steel (63)
Susan Saint James (64)
Wim Wenders (65)
Steve Martin (65)
David Crosby (69)
From the same child pimps who brought usa Little Jersey Shore, here’s The Hills performed by kids! Although, The Hills that is on MTV right now IS filled with children who droll uncontrollably, leave turds in the tub, can’t chew on solid foods all the way and scream for mommy in the middle of the night. Maybe Little Spencer can teach Big Spencer how to pee pee in the toilet without getting any on the bathroom floor. Probably not. Big Spencer is a lost cause.
And the little girl who plays Ceiling Eyes better win every single Emmy, Webby, Oscar, Pulitzer, Nobel Peace Prize, etc…etc…
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