Damon Lindelof may be leaving Ridley Scott’s Alien universe on a vague, quasi-philosophical note that leaves no one feeling fully satisfied, indicating this week that he won’t be penning the sequel to Prometheus. Speaking to Collider, Lindelof talked first about the possible direction the Prometheus franchise-within-a-franchise could take, and then explained why he won’t be returning for round two.
While he doesn’t quite come out and say it plain, he does admit circumspectly that the popular response to his script may have had a small influence on his decision. “I think what ended up happening,” Lindelof said, “was that the movie came out, and there was a reaction to the movie.”
There’s far more to it than that, of course. Lindelof is, despite the haters, very busy. “…I got really wrapped up in [Star Trek Into Darkness] and really wrapped up in this movie that I’m producing and writing with Brad Bird,” he said, referring to the Disney film currently code-named 1952. Lindelof also cited an upcoming TV project he’s passionate about, all of which led him to conclude he wouldn’t be able to make the kind of commitment a project like Prometheus 2 would require.
Fortunately, according to his telling of events, Scott was fine with it. “I said to him, ‘I really don’t think I could start working on this movie until I do this other stuff. And I don’t know when the other stuff is going to be done.’ And he was like, ‘Well, okay, it’s not like I asked you anyways.’”
But do we even need a sequel? To my mind, a continuation of Prometheus would just be an exercise in throwing good money after horrendously convoluted money. But what about you, readers? Do you want to see a return to the…
Full Story »Dane Cook must’ve looked at all the free attention Daniel Tosh got for that whole “Wouldn’t it be funny if 5 guys raped her right now?” thing and thought to himself, “I can do that too!” And he did at The Laugh Factory in L.A. last night when he tried out this joke:
“I heard that the guy came into the theater about 25 minutes into [The Dark Knight Rises]. And I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie, but the movie’s pretty much a piece of crap. Yeah, spoiler alert. I know that if none of that would have happened, I’m pretty sure that somebody in that theater, about 25 minutes in realizing it was a piece of crap, probably was like, ‘Ugh, fucking shoot me.’”
The comedian he stole that joke from should be ashamed of themselves! But really, Dane Cook has a point. The Dark Knight Rises was a total piece of crap compared to the cinematic brilliance of Employee of the Month.
UPDATE: Dane Cook’s ass farted out an apology today, “I made a bad judgment call with my material last night & regret making a joke at such a sensitive time. My heart goes out to all of the families & friends of the victims.”
via Vulture
The costume designer(s) of Pain and Gain should get their Oscar speech ready, because they have clenched the win by throwing this hot look onto the body of one-man terrorist killing machine Marky Mark. As Marky pumped up his brain with heavy beats (SPOILER ALERT: He was listening to this), he flashed one third of his nipple triplets and braced himself for the tidal wave of panty pudding that eventually hit him after hos got a good look of him dressed up like John Travolta’s private chef. Those aren’t rainboots. They’re pantycreamboots!
And I only have one tiny issue with this look. According to my Scientology spell checker, they spelled “cock” wrong. They should fix that in post-production.
If you wanted to remain completely spoiler-free going into this summer’s modest little art pic The Avengers, too bad! Disney has gone ahead and ruined the surprise. So, fine. Captain America apparently does not perish at the end of The Avengers, but will indeed live on to deal with his personal issues in Captain America 2, due to hit theaters on April 14, 2014. Find the official word and a new image after the jump.
I kid. Of course Captain America lives through The Avengers! How else will he and the rest of his teammates cash in on the endless stream of superhero sequels to follow?
From Disney:
“The Walt Disney Studios has announced a release date for Marvel Studios’ sequel to the blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger on April 4, 2014. The second installment will pick-up where the highly anticipated Marvel’s The Avengers (May 4, 2012) leaves off, as Steve Rogers continues his affiliation with Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D and struggles to embrace his role in the modern world.”
I mean, if it gives us more Chris Evans crouching in tight leather getups, let the sequels never end.
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Multi-millionaire supermodel Gisele Bundchen went to the e-mail room in her $20 million custom built dream mansion and wrote a note to her family and friends asking them to ask the lord above to help her multi-millionaire quarterback husband win his fourth Super Bowl ring on Sunday. The New York Post somehow got a hold of the e-mail (SPOILER ALERT: They prayed for it) and published it on their cover this morning:
My sweet friends and family,
This sunday will be a really important day in my husband’s life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this super bowl . . .
I feel Tommy really needs our prayer, our support and love at this time.
So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this sunday.
Thank you for your love and support. Love, G
”
What a selfish bitch. Doesn’t Gis know that it’s award season? It’s God’s busiest time of year, even busier than Christmas (side note: Does God call Christmas “Sonmas“?)!
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Full Story »Spoiler alert? “I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the preoccupation the director shows with Maggie’s shoes. There are so many shoe-shots in the film, it’s downright laughable. When she leaves number 10 for the last time, the shot lingers long enough on Streep’s walking feet it made me wonder if there was a shoe fetishist behind the camera. She wasn’t Imelda Marcos, after all. And the final scene of the movie: Maggie washes out her teacup in the sink. How tragic! Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! The filmmakers could not resist that final, petty, hate-filled blow.” [Big Hollywood]
Full Story »The Beer Loving Cat! And there you were thinking that pussy and yeast don’t mix well together. If yeast infections looked like this, we’d all want one.
Tonight is the Second Annual Ricky Gervais Pats Himself On His Hardcore Edgy Gene While ROASTING Hollywood Ceremony and about three seconds into that shit, most of us will look like that cat above. We’ll be making hug love to a lukewarm can of the sweet nectar and licking on it like it’s the only thing in the world that has ever done us right (SPOILER ALERT: It is!). But unlike Beer Cat, my can of the sweet nectar won’t be Miller Lite. I mean, if I want to lick on something that tastes like ass, I’ll lick on an actual ass.
via Buzzfeed
My mom asked me the other day if I was watching Revenge (which you should always pronounce as RUUUUH-VEEEENGE while making wide Norma Desmond eyes), and I told her that I was behind 3 episodes since its priority ranks way below my current soul fillers of choice The A-List: Dallas and Love & Hip Hop. So instead of doing the correct thing by softly weeping about how she can’t believe she raised such a garbage disposal tramp who eats up trash by the pound, she goes, “Oh, so you didn’t see it when so-and-so found out that so-and-so was a this-and-that? I couldn’t believe it!” So yeah, just like my mom, Spaz de la Huerta should import the phrase “SPOILER ALERT” into her lexicon, because she spilled way too much information on the Boardwalk Empire season finale at a party the other night.
Page Six says that Spaz, who truly always looks like she’s always having an awake abortion, was approached by a guest and asked if she could tell them anything about the season finale. (SPOILER ALERT) The drunk face that launches a thousand side-eyes opened its mouth and told the guest that her character’s baby dies. Apparently, that’s more than the party guest wanted to hear.
For real, though, I doubt that even happens in the finale if it came from Spaz’s tongue. Spaz is forever
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Spoiler alert: James Franco’s character wasn’t always supposed to survive the Rise of the Planet of the Apes chaos. According to an early script, Franco’s Will Rodman was supposed to die in the arms of his primate pal Caesar after being hit with a bullet during the dramatic forest showdown. At the last minute, the filmmakers decided to change the ending and flew the actor cross-country to film an alternative goodbye scene with Caesar (Andy Serkis). The casualty-free climax made the final cut, Rise of the Planet of the Apes grossed over $400 million worldwide and Will Rodman lives to film a potential sequel. [THR]
Spoiler alert and all, but still: truth. “And now the Chicago genocide began. We saw no less than 17 fleeing citizens disintegrated by attacking Decepticons into blood fog. Then, in a big set-piece action scene, 14 more people were disintegrated. At that point, the freaking Autobots finally decided to show up, and they freaking pulled off a Decepticon’s limbs. Now, if this movie was rated R and actually awesome, they would have beaten the Decepticon to death with his own arms and legs. Stupid PG-13 rating.” [EW]
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