Acclaimed actor, convicted tax cheat and current McKean Correctional Facility inhabitant Wesley Snipes had his hands full with more than just the feds before he landed behind bars. Check out a recently unearthed video of a deposition from his battle with United Talent Agency, which in 2007 won a judgment against Snipes for $1.7 million in unpaid fees.
As the footage and the transcript (via THR) reveal, Snipes’s characterization of the agent/talent dynamic demonstrates a righteous mind at work:
Snipes: I can translate it to the way I understand it. It’s no different than a pimp. That’s what a pimp does with a ho. A pimp will lay claim to whatever the ho produces anywhere on the planet for as long as she’s a ho. And then, even after she retires from being a ho, they’re still gonna make the claim. Now, whether they actually do anything or not to deserve it is a whole ‘nother issue. That’s kind of my experience with the talent agencies — if they receive the phone call, if your name has been a part of their roster, if they receive a piece of mail, then as far as they’re concerned, they are entitled to commission.
[Lawyer]: What does the pimp do when the ho doesn’t pay?
Snipes: They usually beat them up.
Priceless. Meanwhile, we can all follow up with Mr. Snipes when he gets out of the, uh, ho-le a year from tomorrow. Can’t wait.
While dressed like Susan from Sesame Street, Lauryn Hill walked into a court room in Newark, NJ this morning and pleaded guilty to three counts of tax evasion and admitted to a judge that she purposefully didn’t pay any taxes in 2005, 2006 or 2007. Bitch is that bold.
The company that Lauryn owns made $818,000 in 2005. Did Lauryn go down to H&R Block to pay taxes on that shit like the rest of us do? Nope. Lauryn made $222,000 in 2006. Did she log onto Turbo Tax to pay that taxes on that shit? Nope. Lauryn also didn’t pay taxes on the $761,000 she made in 2007. Lauryn didn’t pay any taxes, because she says it was her way of protesting against the man. Three weeks ago, Lauryn took a break from not making a follow-up to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and wrote a rambling explanation on Tumblr for why she told the IRS to eat a fuck for three years in a row. Lauryn’s thesis was just a pile of crazy and I swear she co-wrote it with Randy Quaid. Here’s a piece of it:
I did not deliberately abandon my fans, nor did I deliberately abandon any responsibilities, but I did however put my safety, health and freedom and the freedom, safety and health of
…
Full Story » 
Not long ago I poisoned you with a lengthy tribute to Madonna’s 1986 fiasco Shanghai Surprise, and just yesterday I revisited five of Madonna’s more tolerable moments in film with a perky countdown. Time to strike my original pose and get back to rancor: Here’s a proper evisceration of Who’s That Girl, the 1987 comedy starring Griffin Dunne and W.E.’s auspicious director. Is it a riot? Yes. Is it grimly bad? Yes. Is it anything else? Scary, sometimes.
Who’s That Girl is a movie in which Madonna practically yelps, “Hey, Melanie Griffith? I can do what you did in Something Wild. I can do it louder, faster and kookier. And hotter! And with four times the eyebrows! And I’ll provide the soundtrack too! Nyah-nyah!” You so know Madonna wanted to be Melanie Griffith. Unfortunately, her “bubbliness” in Who’s That Girl comes off less like a natural affectation and more like a Judy Holliday impersonation of Fred Figglehorn. It’s a sustained blast of freakish glee, and it undermines what little story Who’s That Girl claims to have — namely, the misadventures of a wrongly convicted Betty Boop-type chick (Madonna), who leaves prison and enlists the help of an uptight tax attorney (Griffin Dunne) to nab the baddies who murdered her boyfriend Johnny. Meanwhile, the tax attorney’s engaged to a sneering lady named Wendy Worthington (Haviland Morris), and for screwball’s sake, he’s assigned to take care of a mountain lion too! Very Bringing Up Baby, which is no surprise considering this movie also wants to…
Full Story »
