As if Jermaine, Janet, Randy and Rebbie aren’t injecting enough craziness into this insane saga, Prince Michael Jackson Jr. has popped up and is joining in on the dysfunctional family fun.
As Blanket Jackson sat on his satin bedspread, brushing his luscious mane while rolling his eyes at all of this stupid foolishness, Prince posted this group text on Twitter and a long statement directed at Randy Jackson’s lies. Randy Jackson said that he and the others didn’t gran-nap Katherine Jackson and weren’t purposefully keeping Michael Jackson’s kids from talking to her. Prince posted this text proving otherwise. And that charred plastic smell filling your nostrils is from Prince burning Janet by not calling her “Auntie.” Here’s Prince’s full statement and yes, he’s going hard:
I would first like to start off this tweet by thanking the fans that have always stood by me and my family, my dad really appreciated your support and I still treasure it to this day. As I am sure everyone is well aware of the events that have been going on. I have been holding off on backing up my sister and her tweets avidly because I was waiting for the time to reveal my side. As long as I can remember my dad had repeatedly warned me of certain people and their ways. Although I am happy my grandma was returned, after
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This is why little ass girls should leave the big cons to the Alexis Carringtons of the world who have trained their whole lives in the craft of scheming and would never make an amateur bitch mistake like this one right here. Alexis would spit at Mariah Yeater out of disgust, but sheiks buy vials of her saliva with diamonds and she’s not going to waste a drop on a dumb bitch who can’t scheme.
Yesterday, Mariah Yeater’s new lawyer confirmed that his client pulled her paternity case against Justin Bieber to start private settlement negotiations with the world’s most famous yodeling fetus. Mariah still swore that Justin Bieber bareback boned a bag of money into her uterus and asked him once again to take a DNA test. But now it seems like her entire get-rich-quick scheme has come crashing down like a balloon with no boy in it. One of Mariah’s friends sold her the hell out by giving TMZ a bunch of text messages where she says that some other dude named Robbie is the father of her baby and she wants him in her kid’s life. Mariah also promises to give her friend a cut of the cash if he keeps his mouth shut. THE JIG JIG JIG IS UP!
The person to whom Mariah Yeater sent the text asked us to blur his name
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It looks like I’m about to find out the answer to the question “How many contraband She-Ra dolls, Mother’s Cookies, tweezers and Footballers Wives DVDs can I shove up my ass?“, because I fully expect an entire SWAT team to crash through my windows at any moment and drag me to death row for being a serial cunt word thrower. If this story from TMZ is telling the truth, then all of us will soon have police records longer than our free clinic files.
Hayley Marie Norman, whose claim to fame is being briefcase model #25 on Deal or No Deal, was forced to turn herself into police last week after she allegedly committed an illegal act by calling her ex-boyfriend’s new ho a “fucking cunt” in a text message. Heather Mills’ own daughter better thank her everything that she lives in England, because if she lived in America she’d suffer a punishment far worse than having to sand and re-stain that bitch’s leg every time she called her a cunt.
After the new piece of Hayley’s ex went to the LAPD and showed them the text message, they charged her with making obscene or threatening phone calls, a misdemeanor. Hayley could also be charged with vandalism, because somebody spray painted “This girl sucks dicks for free” and “This girl is a fucking cunt” on the front of her apartment and ho thinks that someone
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When the teaser trailer for Killer Elite arrived in June, it presented a wealth of ridiculous awesomeness (Jason Statham jumping out a window while attached to an interrogation chair) and even more ridiculous facial hair (Clive Owen’s villainous moustache; Robert De Niro’s Saddam Hussein beard). Both traits are still present in the new full-length trailer, as well as a host of clichéd one-liners that would even make Arnold Schwarzenegger groan with delight. Ahead, Movieline’s complete inventory of the madness.
1. “You ready for this?”
2. “Game’s over.”
3. “We have to do something!”
4. “Close it down.”
5. Text: Based on a true story.
6. “You have no idea who you’re messing with.”
7. “He’s like a father to you, right?”
8. “If you don’t do this, he’s a dead man.”
9. “Danny is gonna come back for me. When he does, you’re out of here.”
10. “He’s your worst nightmare.”
11. “This kind don’t scare easy.”
12. Text: When the hunter, becomes the hunted, may the best man live.
13. “This ends today.”
14. “The war isn’t over until both sides say it is.”
15. “Now the gloves are off.”
16. “It’s over.”
17. “Let’s finish this.”
18a. “This guy’s good.”
18b. (Shot of Statham grabbing co-star Yvonne Strahovski’s butt.) “You have no idea.”
19. “You really are one crazy son of a bitch.”
20. (Looking at cash) “So that’s what this is all about.”
21. (Holding cash) “I’ve got to cover my expenses.”
VERDICT: I ain’t got time to bleed — just to see this movie on opening night.
Killer Elite opens on Sept. 23.
[via IMDb]
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Reading the ingredients on a bottle of Wite-Out is more exciting than this piece of non-news, but let’s do this anyway. Hollywood Life says Miley Cyrus and Jared Followill of Kings of Leon have been texting each other ever since they met at the EMAs last November. Miley is trying to keep Jared interested by not becoming a full blown barebacking sext slut just yet. And Jared keeps texting Miley back, because he’s hoping to fulfill his fantasy of bumping on a creature who talks dirty to him in an itchy scratch voice. Yes, Jared is the one who gets the Freddy Krueger soundboard to say: “Eat this pussy, bitch.”
A friend of Jared’s tells HL, “Miley wants to keep Jared interested. She often sends him coy text messages. So far, he is a big fan of what she has been sending. He’s such a fan, in fact, he’s been bragging to his friends about her texts! “Jared loves showing off his texts from Miley. He thinks she’s very pretty and is excited she’s still flirting with him.”
We can all smell the duck saliva from here, so they should just fast-forward to the inevitable already. Miley will eventually send him a picture of her flashing undertit while making a duckface. Jared will then leak it to The National Enquirer for a little
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Eva Longoria only denied that Tony Parker filed for divorce in Texas on Tuesday because she wanted to be the one who publicly cut the cord on their marriage. A source tells Gossip Cop that Eva wanted to see the headline “Eva Longoria files for divorce from Tony Parker” in lights and not the other way around. So Eva played the part of an estranged wife who wants to work things out amicably to Tony’s face but then turned around and stabbed him in the ass with divorce papers. Well. Played.
A different source tells TMZ that they’ve been planning to file for divorce ever since Eva found all those hornified text messages between Tony and his teammate’s soon-to-be ex-wife Erin Barry. Apparently, Tony wanted to make the divorce go smoother by filing in Texas, but she talked him out of it. The source says that Eva wanted to file for divorce on the same day the “Tony is Blackberry boning some other trick” story from UsWeekly came out, because she’s into “the whole PR thing.” Eva’s spokeswhore denies she tried to pull some shit over on Tony.
And about those text messages, another source (ALL THESE SOURCES) whispered in People’s ear that Tony Porkme and Erin Barry never took their phone fucking relationship to the next level. Basically, he never put
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