BeaverTails from Canada’s BeaverTails pastry shop. BeaverTails are a Canadian slab of fried dough deliciousness covered in cinnamon, sugar and whatever else your tongue wants to get on. It’s like a Canadian churro and it can double as a spank paddle. BeaverTails also sort of sounds like “Beiber tails,” which makes me think of….forget it. Not today. Not on this national holiday!
Unfortunately, we don’t have BeaverTails down here in the US so I have to make my own by microwaving a long slab of Bisquick dough in a Tupperware container full of canola oil and cinnamon. Then I’ll spend the rest of my day watching Heavy Metal the movie and episodes of You Can’t Do That On Television on YouTube in my Celine Dion t-shirt while getting drunk on Molson to temporarily forget that Canada gave us Nickelback. Happy Canada Day, everyone!
