Who knew Winnie Cooper pledged her alligence to the Slytherins? Apparently she has, because Danica McKellar gave birth to a baby boy (I’d like to think Adult Kevin narrated her labor) on Tuesday night and named him DRACO VERTA. That sound you just heard was a million Harry Potter nerds ripping off a piece of scotch tape to hang a Winnie Cooper poster over their fanmade art of a nekkid Narcissa Malfoy.
Here’s the statement to People from Danica and her husband Mike Verta:
“We are humbled, overjoyed and so grateful for this miraculous gift. It’s like we’ve only now just learned the true meaning of love.”
Winnie and Mike claimed they named their son after a constellation, but they don’t need to hide their boner for Harry Potter from us. We’re all friends.
To me, Draco Verta sounds like the name of an aria the vampire King of Mississippi sings to the crystal goblet containing the guts of his beloved in True Blood: The Opera. It also sounds like the name of a drugstore cologne that comes in a plastic dragon bottle. So what I’m saying is that the name Draco Verta works for me!
As the Vampire King of Germany, Kunty Karl, and his sessy human Baptiste Giabiconi strut their asses through St. Tropez, I’ll be trying to emulate their strut on a beach in Jersey (not Snooki’s neck of the stroll). Although, I won’t be doing it in shorty shorts like Baptiste’s since that could be considered disturbing the peace.
So anymycrabswillgetnewfriends, posting will be much slower than usual since my ass will be taking a long weekend. Things will be back to normal on Tuesday!
