Look who’s putting the “ho” in ho ho ho and the “mess” in Christmas! Yes, you can all thank me later for burning this exquisite and breathtaking image into your memory banks, and I know you won’t hate me more when I point out that from the looks of Courtney Stodden’s ass, Santa jizzes Dollar Store spray snow. I know we were all wondering, and you’re welcome.
As a special holiday gift for us all, Courtneys mom wraps up some words of wisdom in a garish hot pink box with an oversized silver bow (she can’t afford gold), and she doesn’t sound at all like a delusional mess who’s been downing Adderall and eggnog cocktails with her daughter (yes, she does). In an article on Huffington post, Courtney’s mom, who does NOT have it going on, explains to us that her daughter is a timeless beauty, a victim of gorgeousness, and that she’s HERE TO STAY. That sound you hear is not a hurricane, it’s the collective exhale from every living creature on the planet in the knowledge that we can look forward to Slutty Santa, Easy Easter Bunny, Pussy Popping Patriot and Temptress Turkey for years to come. Yaaaaay.
“Courtney is the new Anna Nicole Smith, without the drugs. Everyone wants to be like Marilyn Monroe, but with Courtney the beauty comes from within — like Pam Anderson and Farrah
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Was Disney’s John Carter the victim of our increasing cultural overstimulation? IndieWire’s Matt Singer considers the tentpole’s reception — and suggests parallels with Kenneth Lonergan’s troubled production-cum-critical darling, Margaret: “[As] perpetual sneak preview culture becomes normalized, audiences are being conditioned to weigh in on a movie before it even comes out. They’re trained not only to trust their expectations, but to express them constantly. ‘I knew this movie was going to be bad from the first trailer,’ is a commonly expressed opinion online. At a certain point, it begins to feel like people want a movie to fail, if only to prove their expectations right.” [IndieWire]
For once, the “dumb bitch” tag doesn’t only apply to a Lohan in this post.
Some woman filed a police report in West Hollywood over the weekend claiming that she’s the latest victim to feel the coke-infused wrath of the freckled terror, because she says Lindsay Lohan went after her at The Standard hotel on Thursday night. The woman says she was talking to one of LiLo’s dude friends, and LiLo didn’t like it so she started shoving and pushing at her ass. Ho says that she’s got bruises on her back to prove she was pushed. When TMZ ran this story yesterday, they asked LiLo’s spokeswhore for a comment, and of course he gave them a river of denial that only flows out of White Oprah’s ass:
“Lindsay was absolutely not involved in any sort of altercation whatsoever. This is clearly another case of someone looking for money and 15 minutes of fame.”
Then LiLo later told TMZ that it was impossible for her to push a trick at a club since she was at home watching episodes of Homeland that night.
There are two sides to every story and LiLo has already snorted both of those sides up, so I don’t know who to believe. If security footage came out clearly showing LiLo at The Standard, she’d still say, “It wasn’t me! It
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Full Story »While the latest chapter in the rapidly expanding mythology of Harvey Weinstein involves the mogul shooting down a pitch from President Obama (“I sent him an e-mail back saying he was the most overqualified book scout I’ve ever had”), I remain preoccupied with the saga surrounding Bully, the Weinstein Company doc still embroiled in a battle with the MPAA ratings board to overturn its R for strong language. The publicity clamor continued Wednesday with a young bully victim dropping off a petition with a reported 200,000 signatures to MPAA HQ and Ellen Degeneres discussing the “controversy” on her show. But it’s what quietly came the day before that seems the most intriguing.
In an interview published Tuesday, Harvey confided to his LAT pal Patrick Goldstein that Bully’s ratings appeal — which the Weinsteins say they lost by one vote — was itself the victim of a mystery MPAA study on language in films. And what a study! These idiots make Harvey look like Clarence Darrow:
“After the language in King’s Speech became a big issue, we did a survey to see if parents wanted us to overlook the language,” [MPAA ratings board chair Joan] Graves told me. “And what we discovered was that, overwhelmingly, parents said they wanted to know what kind of language there was in the film. We asked specifically about the F-word, which clearly bothers a large number of people. That’s just how they feel. Language matters.”
According to Weinstein, Graves brought up the still-unreleased survey as an argument against “Bully” in his appeal hearing. “It was like a scene out of ‘Perry Mason,’” Weinstein recalled. “The news of the survey came out
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WARNING: Reading this story might make your butt pores secrete real sad tears every time you step into an AutoZone or Home Depot. You’ve been warned. This 30-year-old trans beauty with an ass that wants to quit itself was put into handcuffs in Miami Beach, FL after she allegedly pretended to be a doctor and injected some Goodyear shit into the butt cheeks of some dumb ass hos. Specifically, some dumb ass hos who didn’t barf up a red flag when their doctor strolled into the back alley clinic looking like her hongray hongray ass just ate Randy’s Donut.
The Miami Herald says that one chick, who wanted an ass that looks like Kim Kardashian’s ass after inhaling the whole asses of Serena Williams and JLo, thought that Oneal Ron Morris was a real board certified doctor when she paid her $700 for a series of ass injections. When the victim laid down on a table at somebody’s townhouse in Miami Gardens, she had no idea that Oneal was stuffing her ass with a mixture of cement, mineral oil, Super Glue and Fix-A-Flat. For weeks, the victim walked around with an Extreme Home Makeover ass and didn’t think anything was wrong until she started having serious health problems including pnumoenia-like symptoms and nasty infected welts on her nalgas. Basically, bitch found out the painful way what the aftermath of a Paris
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But not for the reason you might think (or want): The actor, twice a victim of News Corporation phone hackers who has since embarked on a very public crusade against the company, regrets working for the Rupert Murdoch-owned 20th Century Fox. “It would certainly stick in my craw to work for Fox. I did make one film for them 16 years ago, but I was naive then. I didn’t even know who owned it [the studio].” Right. [EW via The Guardian]
Movieline has a storied past with Human Centipede, a film that I consider a beacon of hope for rectal seamstresses everywhere. Some people aren’t so chipper about the movie’s after-effects, and one such doubter is New Kid on the Block/Blue Bloods star Donnie Wahlberg, who is seriously traumatized by the hundred-legged, coprophaghic sensation of light, sound, and ass. Watch this survivor tell his story on video.
Mr. Wahlberg’s words speak for themselves:
“I was disturbed for weeks. I had to watch it, so I could face the fear. And I faced it. And I feel better,” he said of his current take on the horror flick now that he’s seen it. “Face the fear. It’s the only way. I would get random moments — like I’d just be sitting around eating a sandwich and go ‘ugh.’ I’d think of the box of the DVD. Now I feel better. Now I can talk about it openly and I don’t get queasy.”
Here’s the full video. Donnie’s wearing his white “Emily Dickinson’s Pimp Uncle” hat while NKOTB bandmate Danny Wood and Backstreet Boys Howie Dorough and Brian Littrell flank him on the right. The trauma is palpable.
Tags: Movie Trailers, Movies Blog
· Donnie Wahlberg Faces the ‘Human Centipede’ [MTV]
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