During an interview with Mandy Patinkin on Fox5’s Good Day New York, one of the co-anchors Dave Price had to quit that bitch early, because he got word that his wife was thisclose to popping out a baby. Yes, anything is more interesting than talking to Rosanna Scotto, but Mandy Patinkin’s beard nearly blew off of his face from how excited he got over the arrival of Dave Price’s new baby. Mandy didn’t want to talk about his TV show or Facebook or anything else. Mandy just wanted to know everything about Dave Price’s baby and even wanted them to call him after that baby breathed its first breath. I’m surprised Mandy didn’t pull a bunch of blue and pink cigars out of his pocket and start handing them out. I bet Dave Price’s wife wasn’t as excited as Mandy was and the baby was coming out of her vagina.
If the whole “being on Homeland” thing doesn’t work out for Mandy, he should become a professional labor cheerleader, because nobody’s more excited about the birthing of babies than he is. If Mandy ever gets mad at you and starts cursing you out, stop him and say, “Mandy, somewhere a woman is giving birth to a baby.” Then stand back and watch him go from MAD! to YAY! in five seconds flat.
via EW
At one point, Kate Beckinsale remembers, director Len Wiseman thought of tapping her for a cameo as a three-breasted hooker in his Total Recall remake. Luckily for the actress, Wiseman (who directed the British beauty in Underworld and Underworld: Evolution — and happens to be her husband in real life) instead cast Beckinsale in the much juicier role of Lori, the adoring wife of factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) whom Quaid discovers is actually an undercover agent hellbent on killing him. Consider that a divorce, indeed.
Expanded considerably by scribes Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback as an amalgam of Sharon Stone’s duplicitous Lori and Michael Ironside’s ruthless Richter from Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 version, Beckinsale’s Lori — her first onscreen villain — is baddie Cohaagen’s (Bryan Cranston) loyal right-hand woman, embittered by the humiliating role she’s been assigned, but relishing in her dogged pursuit of Farrell’s Quaid with glee. (She also boasts unfailingly fantastic hair, in keeping with Beckinsale’s action cinema filmography.)
Beckinsale sat for a chat with Movieline about Total Recall, Lori’s inner psyche, how marriage lends insight to her working relationship with Wiseman, and how she resolves her “Kate Beckinsale” public image/action heroine reputation with her literary roots and lesser-seen work.
This version of Total Recall is quite different from the Verhoeven original in many ways, including its emphasis on a more geopolitical commentary. But the Lori character in particular, which is vastly expanded here, is a sharp, strong woman who literally rejects this domestic role that she’s been given, playing wife to Douglas Quaid at the behest of her employer.
I think she’s an extremely highly trained, highly intelligent, and very much at the top of her field operative, and the detail that…
It’s hard to say how much can be blamed on the timing of the release of The Do-Deca-Pentathlon and how much on the movie’s self-amused mediocrity, but the latest from brothers Mark and Jay Duplass (who co-wrote and directed) seems to expose the limits of a certain kind of realism by stretching them one man-child too far.
Do-Deca comes on the heels of Jeff, Who Lives at Home, the latter a light, surprisingly affecting story of two brothers at various odds finding common ground. Jeff is the better movie, by a significant margin. Do-Deca is also the lesser movie in a very specific way: If the runoff of several more successful Duplass-driven or otherwise Duplass-oriented projects (including Jeff, Cyrus, and Humpday) had swirled into a single stream and then pooled in an Austin ditch at summer’s height, Do-Deca might be the movie some avid scavenger fished out.
It feels this way despite the fact that Do-Deca was shot back in 2008, before the brothers went Hollywood. Time on the shelf hasn’t improved this story of two middle-aged brothers, Mark (Steve Zissis) and Jeremy (Mark Kelly), and their re-staging of a two-man, 25-event competition they first participated in as teenagers. Schlubby Mark has a pretty wife named Stephanie (Jennifer Lafleur) and a longhaired son (Reid Williams) who’s too cool for most rooms, but especially the ones containing his dad. We meet this trio at the house of Mark’s mother (Julie Vorus), where they are about to celebrate Mark’s birthday. Deadbeat brother Jeremy shows up despite being distinctly uninvited (in the opening scene Mark recalls Jeremy’s delight in traumatizing him with repulsive gags), crashing the family’s 5-K charity run.
From there the brothers reignite their obsessive competition, to Stephanie’s mean-mommy dismay. Initially Mark expresses a burning contempt for his brother,…
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MSNBC and a bunch of people on Twitter noticed that the members and future member of The Tommy Girl Ex-Wives Club all have something in common and it might give you nightmares of the number threeeeee. This is some creepy numerology shit.
Mimi Rogers, who started all the Sea Org fuckery by introducing Tommy to Scientology, was 31 when she became the first Mrs. Tom Cooze in 1987 and 33 when their marriage choked on a gay bullet and died in 1990. Mimi was 34 when their divorce was finalized.
Nicole Kidman was 23 when she married Tommy in 1990 and 33 when their 10-year contract ended in 2001. Nicole was 34 when her shackles officially came off after their divorce finalized.
Katie Holmes was 28 when she became the third bride of Scientology in 2006 and she’s 33 now. If their divorce goes through after December, she’ll be 34 when she’s officially free.
So every one of Tommy’s wives was 33 when they split and 34 when that shit finalized. THE FUCK? Is 33 the age when God finally feels sorry for Tommy’s wife and wins her soul back in a rock, paper, scissor match with L. Ron Hubbard on a neutral planet (Neptune, obviously)? Does the mind control spell wear off when she’s 33? And each Tommy wife is almost 11 years younger than the last one. If Tommy is shopping for a fourth beard wife already, then that means he’s trolling the IMDB pages of all actresses born in 1989 or 1990. Hide yo 22-year-old actresses!
Richard Gere gets the golden line in this trailer for Sundance 2012’s drama-thriller Arbitrage, the feature directorial debut from Nicholas Jarecki (The Outsider). “World events all revolve around five things, M-O-N-E-Y,” he says, perhaps taking a cue from Wall Street’s own philosophy courtesy of Gordon Gekko (though he preferred the more direct g-r-e-e-d).
Of course Susan Sarandon, who plays his wife has a zinger herself with, “How much money do we need? Do you want to be the richest person in the cemetery?” In the film, New York hedge-fund magnate Robert Miller (Gere) is the epitome of success, but behind the facade he’s in way over his head. He’s desperate to sell his trading empire to a big bank before the truth comes out, not only to colleagues but also his admiring wife and his daughter and heir-apparent Brooke (Brit Marling). And to complicate things further, he’s carrying on an affair with a French art-dealer, Julie (Laetetia Casta).
But on the eve before he’s about to sell his plague-ridden holdings, he gets into further trouble (as tipped off in the trailer below) and he must now juggle family, business and crime with the help of someone from his past, Jimmy Grant (Nate Parker).
The trailer seems to be pretty thorough in telling the story, so take a look. The only thing left is the final question: will he make it out from under the brink?
[The feature will begin its roll out September 14 courtesy of Lionsgate and Roadside Attractions.]
It seems Roger Ebert was unable to make the trek to Cannes, but his wife (and Ebert Co. VP) Chaz sends a report from the South of France with a fantastic breakdown of the fest’s offerings — and sweet words for Rog back home: “Today there may not be starlets jumping nude in the ocean, but we are still being given stories of young love and old love and passion and feelings and ideas that make life worth living. Thank you for introducing me to this world. Now I just want you to hurry back to it.” [Chicago Sun-Times]
Tom Gabel, the lead singer of Florida punk band Against Me!, tells Rolling Stone that she’s always felt like a woman (side note: Apologies if that last part made you think of THAT Shania Twain song. It won’t ever leave your head now. You can slap me the next time you see me). and now she’s taking the steps to match her outside to her inside. Tom will eventually change her name to Laura Jane Grace and will soon start taking hormones. Laura only told a few family and friends before coming out publicly about her transition to Rolling Stone.
“I’m going to have embarrassing moments and that won’t be fun. But that’s part of what talking to you is about – is hoping people will understand, and hoping they’ll be fairly kind.”
Laura has a 2-year-old daughter with her wife Heather, and she says that Heather is sticking by her and supporting her through her transition:
“For me, the most terrifying thing about this was how she would accept the news. But she’s been super-amazing and understanding.”
Wait. What is that warm, fuzzy, unnatural and slightly strange feeling that’s covering the charbroiled piece of ground vulture meat in my chest? Is that what a warm feeling feels like? I haven’t felt that way since I read The Hunger Games. Yes, I
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Pregnant Dude (government: Thomas Beatie) filmed an episode of The Doctors this morning (it airs in May) and he dropped two bombs. No, by that I don’t mean two more babies dropped out of him and rolled across the stage. Surprisingly, that didn’t’ happen. Pregnant Dude said that he and his wife of 9 years and the mother of his two kids, Nancy Beatie, are taking a break from each other’s genitals. Pregnant Dude also said that he has just finished his last gender reassignment surgery, which means that his peen is now a poon. Oh, and Nancy hasn’t met his new peen yet. Pregnant Dude went on to say:
“Nancy hasn’t seen the new me yet. Like all marriages, we have our ups and downs, and we’re going through a rough patch right now. At the moment, we’re separated.”
Okay, Nancy must be the kind of ho who’d rather have a clit on her tongue than a peen head. Because I wouldn’t put my marriage in the time out corner until after I saw that dick. Big dick is a game changer. The most surprising part is we didn’t watch their marriage slowly fall into the gutter on a reality show. How are they not on TLC full time?! Oh TLC, I feel like I don’t know you anymore.
