After last week’s bizarre President Camacho Funny or Die press conference in which white people were severely maligned, the website has redeemed itself with a get-out-the-vote video from one of its founders, Will Ferrell. I had to watch the video twice because the first time I was terribly distracted by the push-broom mustache Ferrell is wearing in the clip, which makes the number Gary Oldman wore in The Dark Knight Rises look inconspicuous by comparison.
The Anchorman 2 star, whose impersonation of George W. Bush on Saturday Night Live is sorely missed, gets right down to business in the video explaining that he’ll do anything to get you to vote. Ferrell offers to make you a dinner of angel-hair pasta, help you move a couch, eat human toe nails, punch himself in the face or give you a tattoo, though, he warns, “I do not know how to draw.” The actor also shows off some of his dance moves for those who’d be interested in seeing him let his freak flag fly, or just do the Robot. ”That was just a taste,” he promises after getting down with his bad self. “If you want the full buffet, you’re going to have to vote.” I vote that Ferrell gives us a sequel to this video when the polls open tomorrow.
Oh yes, and though Ferrell keeps the political talk non-partisan for most of the video, he does reveal that he’s an Obama man at clip’s end.
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Hundreds of thousands of people have been told to evacuate, an 11-foot wall of water is supposed to crash into Manhattan and millions of people are furiously searching the Internet while they still can for ways to make a satellite dish and TV out of tin foil and fish bones (because they can’t miss American Horror Story on Wednesday night, DUH), but Lindsay Lohan wants everyone to stop bitching and crying about Hurricane Sally Jessy Raphael. (Don’t hate Blohan for not remembering Sandy’s name. You know how bad crackheads are at remembering anything.)
Right before LiLo, whose brain was destroyed a long time ago by Hurricane Cokey, begged Lady CaCa to pay attention to her, she told all of her followers to stop being so dramatic and use positive thinking to ward the hurricane away. I can see it now. There’s LiLo, wasted out of her mind, sitting on her living room floor and rambling to the walls about how we can make the storm go away if we just THINK it away.
Hurricane Sandy is obviously a coked up, drunk mess herself, and Lindsay Lohan is made up entirely of vodka and coke granules, so can’t we just tie her to the top of the Empire State Building as an offering to the storm? That’s me thinking positively.
(Thanks to Deb and Jardley for sending this mess in)
He was the governor. Next year, he’ll be the sheriff. In The Last Stand, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the sheriff of a small town on the Mexican border that must stop a heavily armed drug kingpin and his henchmen after the extreme baddie breaks out of prison and makes a run for Mexico. If you’re wondering how an extremely muscular dude with an Austrian accent ends up the sheriff of a podunk North-of-the-Border town, Schwarzenegger’s character has a back story: He’s a former Los Angeles cop who departed the force after a bungled police operation left his partner crippled. (I start to speak with an Austrian accent after I spend more than two weeks in L.A., too.)
In addition to heralding Arnold’s return in a major role, The Last Stand will also mark the English-language debut of South Korean director Kim Jee-Woon (The Good, The Bad, The Weird and I Saw The Devil) and features what looks like a demented Johnny Knoxville playing a cross between Murdock from The A Team and Barney Fife from The Andy Griffith Show. Check out the trailer below, which contains at least one potential catch phrase — “I’m the Sheriff” — which is practically guaranteed to become a t-shirt.
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Per the latest dispatch from the MPAA ratings board, Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest is officially “Rated R For sexual content, graphic nudity and language. Release Date: October 12, 2012.” And thus were dashed the hopes of families everywhere. Maybe the new Kevin James movie is an option that weekend? OK, never mind. [via @ropeofsilicon]
After breathless reports that the actress was “rushed to the hospital” with a head injury sustained on the set of her upcoming film The Hive, Halle Berry’s publicist has confirmed that not only will her Oscar-winning client live, but that Berry was released and expects to return to work as planned. Now you know! Glad to hear it. We now return to our regular scheduled Bat-programming. [AP, TMZ]
