Sinead O’Connor’s marriage to Barry Herridge quickly fell into a coma on her honeymoon night when she dragged his ass to a Las Vegas crackhouse looking for the good shit. Shit was a little awkward since Barry is a drug counselor (Note to self: Ask your new husband if he’s a drug counselor before you drag him to a crackhouse on your honeymoon night) and so they went their separate ways. But just like the feeling in my no-no when I sprinkle a little salt on it, Barry has come back to Sinead and she Tweeted about their reunion last night. WARNING: Reading Sinead’s Tweets could cause your brain to wall slide against your skull, because this reads like it was written by a horny, handless caveman with a concussion on his head (or by Courtney Love):
Spent beautiful evening of love making with nine other than husband! Who turned up angelically we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend
guess whohad a mad love making affair with her own husband last night?
Yay!!! we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend again an stay married but we did rush so we gonna return to b friend g friend
an be sickenly happy an go counsellin an move in in like a yr like regular people.. but stay married an we all in love an fuck every other
motherufcker who
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There’s so much worth anticipating in Parker, director Taylor Hackford’s adaptation of the famous literary thief created by author Donald Westlake. Honestly, though, if this sighting alone of Jason Statham on-set as the title character — in full powder-blue suite and 10-gallon hat — can’t coax a down payment on viewing this upon release, then nothing will. (Oh — and other pics feature some lady named Jennifer Lopez as well.) This and much more Buzz Break ahead.
[via Coming Soon]
· Ah, and here’s a picture of Ingmar Bergman on the set of Jaws. Naturally. Even it’s a hoax, you’ll want it to be real, if only for the “Through a Glass Sharkly.” jokes herewith. [Moviefone]
· Today in tough questions: “Is it ever OK to let a kid drop the F-bomb?” [Salon]
· Oklahoma City Thunder superstar Kevin Durant is set to star in Switch, about a pro basketball player who, “[i]n a magical twist […] switches all of his basketball-playing skills with an enthusiastic young fan who becomes the star of his high school team… and leaving Durant and the Thunder helpless.” Save us, Shaq! [CBS Sports via Filmdrunk]
· What Jonah Hill really wants to do is direct. Seriously. [Esquire]
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Yay, weekend! Unless, that is, you’re not keen on 3-D animated family films or rehashed horror satire, in which case… Well, still: Yay, weekend! Like it or not, let’s throw some numbers around and surmise what our box-office king might look like come Sunday. (Hint: He’s not wearing a Ghostface mask.)
[Follow the links below to each film’s Movieline review.]
NATIONAL OUTLOOK
· Rio: Take one animated, adorable, domesticated tropical bird. Add an exotic love interest whom he pursues in South America. Add the filmmakers’ Ice Age creds and liberal helpings of 3-D. Then adjust for attrition away from two-week animated wonder Hop. Stir in spring break to taste. Mmmm-mmm now that is what I call an opening weekend. FORECAST: $44.8 million
· Scream 4: I always like to say we should keep this feature short, and this time I mean it: You’re either geeked to see the fourth installment of the once-beloved, now-belabored horror franchise this weekend, or you’re simply going to keep your distance from the multiplex entirely. Young talent will drive the kids in, but this one’s almost all fan base, and it feels kind of impossible to predict at this point. But! Fortune favors the bold — will it favor Harvey Weinstein? FORECAST: $24.6 million
REGIONAL OUTLOOK
Directed by Robert Redford and featuring the always-terrific James McAvoy as a northern lawyer defending a Confederate loyalist against charges of conspiring to kill Abraham Lincoln, the ostensible awards-horse The Conspirator nevertheless stumbled out of the gate last year at the Toronto Film Festival. Seven months and countless mixed reviews later, the…
