Only 20 percent of reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes, roughly one out of five, recommend April’s military-themed romance The Lucky One, about an ex-Marine who walks across the country to find the girl whose photograph he believes saved his life overseas. But having already seen it on opening weekend months ago I’ve been waiting for today, the day it hits DVD and Blu-ray, for one very special reason: Zac Efron.
Not just Zac Efron. Zac Efron, Dreamboat. Or rather: Efron as a Nicholas Sparks Hero (NSH), just about the highest pedestal a leading man could climb atop to reach the height of female (and male) adoration.
As an NSH, the 24 year-old Efron graduates into a vaunted class of romantic screen idols — no longer just pretty Tiger Beat faces, but grown men. With muscles. And groomed-just-so man stubble.
The Lucky One and its Sparksiness fits Efron like a glove. [See previously: How Sparksian Is The Lucky One?] Is it schmaltzy? Well, yes. It is a Nicholas Sparks story, and those come built to factory specifications. As Logan — his name is Logan, for goodness sake — Efron eases into the transition between bopping around in High School Musical and getting peed on by Nicole Kidman with a strong, silent character, getting a lot of mileage out of tortured gazes and a deeply-felt sensitive-handyman broodiness. And later: Butt-grabbing, shower-soaked love scenes!
That’s not to say The Lucky One is the best of Efron’s post-HSM output — far from it. But where 17 Again translated Efron’s teen idol status into the mainstream, Me and Orson Welles established indie cred and a desire to be taken more seriously, and Charlie St. Cloud allowed him to brood (albeit in a…
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If your internet connection is going in and out this morning, that’s because Kim Kardashian is furiously refreshing The Paperboy page on Fandango until the BUY TICKETS button comes up, because that bladder wine-loving heffa wants to buy ALL the tickets! If Lee Daniels’ upcoming movie The Butler (co-starring Matthew McConaughey as John Fucking Kennedy) is going to be a major shit show, then his new movie The Paperboy is the piss stream before the dump. The Paperboy made its debut at Cannes this week and so far many of the critics have declared it a campy piece of utter shit. That means I can confidently say that The Paperboy is going to be my favorite cinematic masterpiss of 2012!
The Paperboy is based on the novel by Peter Dexter and follows two brothers, the Texas T-Rex and Zac Efron, as they investigate (Princess Zac as an investigator? HA!) the case of a death row inmate played by John Cusack. This is the part that is already making me hand over my credit card number to buy a ticket. Nicole Kidman plays a trashy, sex crazed tramp who is obsessed with John Cusack’s character and wants to marry him. With Nicole’s help, Zac and Matthew try to figure out if John
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Even Zac Efron has “Zac Efron’s naked ass cheeks” on his Google Alerts, because three seconds after his Hostess bottom cakes went viral, the most beautiful man princess in the land closed the terry cloth curtain and is not about to give us an encore. Now Zac Efron can prance around with his twinkly b-hole out without having to worry about paps with zoom lenses taking his picture for all us disgusting, moral-less piece of trash pervs to see. HOW SELFISH OF HIM! Oh well, at least we’ll always have (NSFW) this Photoshopped picture of Zac Efron wearing Not Zac Efron’s dick.
“You dropped a — a condom on the red carpet,” asked esteemed Today Show journalists Matt Lauer of The Lorax star Zac Efron, grilling the former High School Musical tween idol about the red carpet incident that had the internet agog last week. “That was hard for you to say, wasn’t it?” returned Efron, who coolly answered with an unabashed confirmation. Let me reiterate: Yes, that was a gold condom that fluttered out of Efron’s pants pocket at the premiere of a Dr. Seuss movie. WHAT OF IT, LAUER??
Kudos to the 24-year-old Efron for coming out on top from the awkward televised inquiry. Ever the pro, he even found a way to bring it back to The Lorax, an animated tale about the dangers of greedy industrialism and deforestation: “It’s a great message to add to the many messages in the film.” (Just wait for those Fox anchors to get wind of this.)
Which is more than I can say about Lauer’s subsequent off-the-cuff joke. “You’ve got your own production company — what’s next for you? That’s a bad pun, by the way… your own production company!” Groan. What, no segue riff into Efron’s next movie, The Lucky One? COME ON, LAUER!
At least someone learned a lesson from EfrondomGate; The totally safe sex-having actor says a “pocket-checking policy” will be “fully instated” for future red carpet appearances. Thank goodness we can put this story to bed now.
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[via Today]
Full Story »At The Lorax premiere (the fucking Lorax premiere) a couple of weeks ago, the most beautiful boy fairy in Hollywood, Zac Efron, went “one, two, three, drop condom, five, six, seven, look shocked, nine, ten, eleven, smile at all the dumbasses thinking I actually fuck.” It was about as staged as Lindsay Lohan accidentally dropping an AA chip in front of the paps. Scratch that. That’s not possible, because I don’t think they sell AA chips at the Chateau Marmont gift shop. But they should! Anyway, back to Zac.
Zac was on Today this morning to talk about that Lorax mess and Matt Lauer asked about him the condom thing. Matt blushed, Zac blushed and I wondered what happened to journalism. I mean, Matt just brought it up, giggled and moved on. I know Matt is probably in on it, but he could’ve snuck in at least one follow-up question. Why does Zac think anyone would believe he uses big dick condoms when we all know that he is a Ken doll brought to life by Disney and has no pokin’ parts down there. Whatever, I’ll lay off of Matt. Being the balding slut bag that he is, I’m sure he was too hypnotized by Zac Efron’s Maybelline beauty. You know how Matt gets while in the presence of stunningly gorgeous women.
You only have to wait four and a half more months until you rally your book club for an opening night screening of the latest Nicholas Sparks adaptation, The Lucky One. In a new featurette for the movie — which shares enough striking similarities to The Notebook to list after the jump — star Zac Efron wonders aloud about love, destiny and other people’s favorite books in between shots of him wooing Taylor Schilling onscreen.
The latest Sparks adaptation arrives this spring, almost a year after his last adaptation, The Last Song premiered. This time around, the book-turned-movie features a U.S. marine who returns home in search of the one woman who unknowingly gave him hope during his third tour of duty — Beth, a blonde beauty whom he happened to have a photograph of while stationed in Iraq. Upon finding her, Efron’s character Logan takes a job alongside her at the local kennel and eventually learns how to jump start her tractor (literally and metaphorically).
In case the only way that you will fork over $10 to see The Lucky One is if it shares at least five things in common with Sparks’s most popular adaptation yet, know that like The Notebook, The Lucky One seems to feature:
· One silent-but-strong protagonist (played by a former Disney star) who is good with his hands, ferociously loyal and willing to wait long periods of time for the woman he loves
· A romantic scene set on a rowboat
· A water-drenched make-out session (this time instead of rain, the couple kisses fully clothed in a shower)
· A sassy mother with a Southern accent who is not afraid to share her…
The next Nicholas Sparks joint, The Lucky One, comes out April 20, but Zac Efron gives us everything we need to survive the five-month wait — namely, a killer pout. He stars in The Lucky One as an Iraq War vet who comes home to locate the unknown woman who served as his “good luck charm during the war.” In the film’s poster, he appears to have found her: Taylor Schilling, of the unfairly canceled NBC drama Mercy, stands in frame. Pretty damn Notebook-y all around.
Awwwww, yeah. Give me more of that ultra-preened scruff, Efron. I bet he’d look good in Chris Daughtry’s parabolic sideburns too. Or better yet: no facial hair at all. Does this need to be explained? When you’re Mattel hot, embrace Mattel hot. Amen. But good for Schilling! She was likable and very funny on Mercy. I’m sensing some Bad Movie We Love potential in The Lucky One, and I don’t want to be let down. Or actually impressed. That would be the worst.
• ‘The Lucky One’ [MovieWeb]
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The Lorax Trailer: Seuss in Supersaturated Color!
By admin on October 27, 2011
The Lorax is one of Dr. Seuss’s most didactic books, which makes it seem less intriguing as a candidate for the big screen. But avast! The trailer for the animated The Lorax — which features the voices of Danny DeVito, Zac Efron, Taylor Swift, Betty White, and Ed Helms — is positively fresh and ebullient. Forests of Pez-colored pompoms! Popsicle-colored streets! An environmentally friendly message dressed up in Tropical Skittles! It’s a must-watch.
Gorgeous, no? Yes, it’s about an Earth Day-centric message, but it looks like we’re dealing with very human, droll characters who bring gravitas to the Crayola dreamscape.
Verdict: Personally? I am so there in March.
[Apple]
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